"Daddy, why do people cry?"

I don't care what you tell me to do or where to go as my post was about the comments from your son.  Ain't about you, or me.

"Thanks for your thoughts" is the same as "bless your heart".  And again, I don't care what you think or say about me.

I'm glad you are sober.  But being sober isn't all of it Gary.  

You can be the strangest dude in the world and no one will care as long as it doesn't affect them.  But to ignore your sons dangerous comments indicates a lack of focus.  On him.

I'm blunt to keep my message simple.  If it pissed you off enough to pay attention then good.

Thank you for your wisdom.

I'm so sorry you're in pain right now.  I am sending hugs and love your way!  

BTW - if it were my husband feeling this way I would definitely want him to tell me.  Men don't always have to be strong for us.  We can return the favor sometimes too ;)

Thank you Heather. I was feeling out of sorts all week, and after I posted about it here. It was easier to share all of my feelings about our daughter being an easy target for kids whom live around us, and are safe to cyber-bully her because it's summer.

I had to just start to learn to let go of her one day. These were really deep seated feelings of insecurity for me. I am way more freaked out about it than even our daughter gets. I look at it as a part of my journey to adulthood (I'm 49) so, hopefully next year I'll finally be an adult. .

And you're totally right about women being strong. I had to learn that as well. Then I could release the pent up feelings of fear I wiped all over my thoughts.

Gary,

Don't lose yourself to the dark place, my friend.  You have fought too long and too hard -- and too honourably -- to lay down your sword now.

As others have said, get to a meeting.  Talk to your sponsor.  Talk to a therapist.  Go for a long walk and talk to your dog.  Belt some show tunes.  Think about all the good things that are in your life and have come into your life as a result of not drinking and from doing all the work on your weight loss journey.  Whatever is going on in your life right now is temporary.

Most of us here know exactly of what you speak.  We've been there, done that, and own the t-shirt concession.  Please lock up your guns and give somebody else the key.

I once said I thought you were one of the smartest people I know.  I still believe that.  You can walk through this valley and come out the other side -- bowed, not broken, and stronger.

You've worked for the good in your life.  You've earned the good in your life.  Sending you my love and every good thought for you to find the peace you need.

Thank you Cheryl. I want to be really clear (like I should have been in the first place) I have a gun-safe that is very secure. 

I skeet shoot for relaxation and he has come in the past. He is dealing with his confusion and anger with a professional therapist. It turns out I was right to let it rest and return to it with some help.

My Sister in Idaho is a licensed therapist. We are going there for a week and he'll remain for another week. My BIL is a great fisherman, he can't wait to wet a line.

Life goes on. You've been, and are a great friend/counselor for me. Just like you've been for many before me. Thank You.

Hi Gary,
i just wanted to share a mantra I learned 30 years ago when I use to suffer with suicidal thoughts very frequently. I didn't think there was any hope for me. My father hung himself in the garage from a beam in the attic. My mother spent her whole life on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. So, I have a double whammy from both sides of my gene pool.

So anyway, when I was 28, friend asked me if I wanted to become happy. I said "Yes!", so she told me about chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo repetitively. I started doing it and within 1 year, it was really interesting, my depression just gradually went from a daily problem to no problem at all.

Pronunciation Video
https://youtu.be/BXPEkzV2Rq4

I hope this helps,

Kory