"Daddy, why do people cry?"

One thing I would like to add to all the great advice given here is to ensure that your children get some counseling.  Al-Anon is great for families of alcoholics.  I know from experience how great Al-Anon is.  My first husband was an alcoholic.  Al-Anon helped me separate myself from his addiction and deal with my issues--co-dependence and anger from internalizing his alcohol fueled demands and needs.  When he passed away, the Al-Anon members of my group helped me deal with my grief and helped me handle all the associated details of being a single mother of two.  That group was, and still is, my lifeline.  Your son asked what it feels like to shoot someone.  That's not normal.  That's a cry for help.  Teens often don't have the resources needed to deal with that kind of anger.  A good therapist can help him separate himself from the issue and deal with it appropriately.  Please, please, please get your kids some help.  Many colleges and some churches offer counseling, often for free or a reduced price.  It could really make a difference in your children's lives.   

Gary,

I don't hate you & glad you didn't have that drink.  Everyone here has offered you wonderful advice so I don't have anything to add. Just know that your children need you sober and it's OK if you don't have all the answers.

bruindiva92

Hi Gary,

We are so glad to hear from you and to see you are OK..  I agree, please seek help for the entire family.  It sounds like Morgan is battling some terrible hurt and anger.  We are here for you always!     

Gary, I am a child counselor, and many children ask questions like that.  Because they are talking to him it means they trust and they love you deeply.

It is hard with Autism, but that does not mean you are a bad parent. Remember that you are an excellent parent, because your children trust you enough to ask these questions.  Some parents with kids who have autism will never have their kids able to ask them those hard questions.  That says to me you are doing a truly wonderful job, strange as that may sound.  Autism is sometimes harder on the parents than the children in some ways.

I have always found you to be a commendable person.  Reading your posts have inspired me very much.  Please hang in there :)

Sincerely,

Donna

Thank you Donna. I really needed to hear this.

Gary you have posted some very concerning thoughts.  You have talked about self sabotaging yourself with alcohol and you talked about your son saying he would like to shoot people that bully his sister.  You say that you have guns in the house.  I am worried that the guns you have for protection would be used by you or your son in a weak moment.  Please seek help for yourself to deal with your demons and also seek help for your son so that he can learn to deal with the anger he has towards those that would ridicule his sister.  From what you said, he's a smart kid and if he wanted to, I'm sure he would find a way to get access to the guns.

 Is there a secure place where you can get them out of the house for the time being?

"What's it like to shoot someone daddy" ..."I want to shoot someone Daddy"  and you said nothing?

I am sincerely glad you didn't drink.  But now you have to get your head out of your ass and get help for your son.  If this was just hyperbole to make your story better then so be it.  However, if your son really expressed these thoughts to you and you ignored them ( which is condoning his feelings in a way) then you need to get off yourself and get help for your son.

Seriously, right now!

I bet would be a little strange to read this and not be out of sorts. I thought my head was out of my ass when I reached out for help. It is very hard raising kids in a world that I did not grow up in. Cyber-bullying, mass shootings everyday, and the cacophony of life itself can cause anyone to spin out of control. 

I spend all of my free time with my family. If I'm not working, I'm with them. I have talked to the same counselor I saw a few months ago and made several appointments for both kids. I was trying to get through all of this sober, which I have so far. 

I appreciate your blunt force way of communication. But I could easily tell you to **** off as well for the tone. But I won't.

I use this place for what it's intention is. To seek assistance when life gets overwhelming. Not a pick-up joint. Or facebook lite.

Good for you for having the procedure so long ago though.

Thanks for you thoughts.

You can go ahead and block me again after this post if you like,  but i have to agree that what you posted about that conversation with your son is disturbing. In the wake of multiple shootings by kids,  you seriously can't think that we wouldn't be worried? I think it's serious enough to warrant a post asking you to not keep silent about it.  I hope that someone  will be able to contact the appropriate authorities.

Tell me to **** off if you like,  but honestly I'm sick of seeing senseless violence in the news,  and I'd hate to see something pop up in Washington State.  

There are eight general warning signs put off by folks before going on a mass episode of violence. The five most common are:

• Pathway warning behaviour: anything that is part of the research, planning or implementation of an attack;
• Fixation: preoccupation with a person or a cause, often with an angry undertone;
• Identification: whether with a soldier or warrior mentality or with previous attackers or assassins;
• Novel aggression: an act of violence that seems unrelated to anything the person has done before; and
• Last resort: evidence that the person thinks there is no alternative to violence and is feeling desperate.

A person who is actively wondering about shooting someone, preoccupied with the poor treatment of a family member, and has access to weapons?

I SINCERELY hope that Gary is exaggerating for dramatic effect here.