"Daddy, why do people cry?"

Gary, I think you are at a point in the weightloss journey where you realize what you have know for all along - that the number on the scale is not the ultimate victory of your life, just that WLS allows you to get on with life to accomplish the ultimate victories of your life. The issues you discuss-they are the raw material that make up life;s ultimate victories. 

Call a sponsor, get to a meeting, talk to your wife, talk to a therapist.  You have been on a weigh loss high for the last year or so and this is the next transition. It can be a difficult transition. If you have had experience with depression in the past, you know that depression lies and you cannot believe what it is telling you.  You are not an ass - maybe you have a good BS detector but you are not an ass.  You are wonderful caring and courageous.  Write here and stay out of the wrong places.

PS  Remember like is different from love and I LOVE you. 

PPS What White Dove writes is along the same lines as what I am trying to say

You're a great friend to have Sharon, Thank you.

Get a clean sheet of paper, turn it sideways and use a ruler to draw a horizontal line 10 inches long.

Then mark that line in one inch sections. Each section represents 10 years of your life.  

_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/_____/

The first twenty years are controlled by parents and school.

The next twenty to thirty years are spent establishing a career, getting married and raising children.
The remaining fifty to sixty years are yours to enjoy free from many obligations and able to pursue interests that are put off during the years of raising a family.

It is time to start planning what you are going to be when you grow up. Perhaps go back to college, learn a new language, plan for travel, take up a new hobby like computer programming, oil painting, music, woodworking or baking.

Your children will be ready to live their own lives soon. That job is ending. Find something that you will enjoy for the remaining portions of your life.  You still have more than half your life left and you can control the rest.

Thank you White Dove. I Thank you for the hundreds of bits of great advice I've read from your brain here. It helps simpletons like me figure this crap out.

Oh, Gary.    Please know that you are loved. 

Thank you AV. Encouraging words is what I needed.

Gary,

My heart is aching for you right now. Please know that many people care about you and want the best for you and your family. You've done a great job...with your weight loss, with staying sober for 8 years, with your children. Please find someone you can talk to and sort out what you're going through. Sending you healing thoughts.

Bonnie

Thank you Bonnie. Healing thoughts helped a ton. Thank you again. 

Gary,you are such a strong and funny man and many here care about you. It sounds like you have some amazing children who love and need you too. Get some help by attending a meeting or talking to your wife or someone else. Help is out there you just have to seek it out. If you don't want to do it for you--do it for your kids. And give your kids a hug from me too. I care and I'll be praying for you to stay strong and sober and to be able to find the help you need to get out of this dark place. Keep us posted please,.Gary!

Thank you Karen. I read your posts daily because you're so positive and encouraging all of the time. I appreciate all that you do here.