"Daddy, why do people cry?"

There is some good advice here, and somewhere inside yourself you know what to do. You wouldn't have stayed sober for the last 8 years if you didn't know what to do.

Now you just have to do it.

Please take care of yourself, Gary. Your children are depending on you.

Thank you. I guess that at times, every device I use to stay sober, seem to fail me and I need outside intervention. I did not drink.

I wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but I have no idea what to say! The one thing I will say is that I am praying for you!!!

Thank you.

I don't hate you Gary. I know many others feel the same. :) Such a sweet and sad post. Be strong for them, and tell them that daddies don't always have the answer, but that ya'll will try to figure life things out together.

Thank you April. I stayed up all night while it thundered all night. By this morning, me, my wife our 70 pound pit, my 14 year old son were all in our bed. It was profoundly effective for rebooting myself.

It sounds as if your children need you and trust in you to ask you these things . Please get the help you need to be the strong , dad that they obviously know you are. 

You have been such an inspiration to me. I do not believe you to be an a**hole or hate you. Please Draw strength from whatever place you need to , be there for them. 

Thank you Sheri, I feel much better today.

Gary, your post reminds me of a time when I was feeling very overwhelmed in 2004 and was not expressing this to my family and my friends.  It was only a year later after some depression counseling that I rebounded and realized that I was trying to tackle too much, all at once.  A busy time in my life having gone through a business setback when company sold to China and I had to close down and lay off 55 people. 

So Gary, all I can offer is that you should "give it up to God" in that you may be feeling the weight on your shoulder and, as you are now completing a successful weight loss year and probably in much better physical health, take a few moments for yourself and relax.  As some others have offered for advice, please let us and others know that you are struggling.  It needs to come out.

Thank you Rich, I am so glad this place and all of you guys are here. I do not have any avenue other than here to just be me.