A bit off topic: Relationships, romantic
This makes me so sad. DH met me right after I happened to have lost a ton of weight on my own and as typical with diets I put it all back on and then some. And he's loved me every step of the way.
DH is a large guy - I wouldn't call him obese but he might technically be. He wears a 2XLT. No idea what he weighs and I don't care. He treats me better than seriously any other man I know treats any other woman. I know I'm luckier than I have any right to be. I'm very, very lucky to have met him and have fallen in love with him. I can only hope he thinks I treat him as well as he treats me.
I hope you rethink this.
Melinda
HW: 377 SW: 362 CW:131
TOTAL LOSS: 249 pounds
Cynthia 5'11" RNY 7/23/2014
Goal reached 17 months. 220lb Weight Loss
Plastic Surgery Dr. Joseph Michaels - LBL and Hernia Repair 2/29/16, Arm Lift, BL, 5/2/16, Leg Lift 7/25/16
#lifeisanadventure #fightthegoodfight #noregrets
I've recently come to the conclusion that I will have to hold off on dating until I reach my goal weight. Why?
Because I want a man who takes care of his body. I don't want an obese man since I am working to not be obese. Therefore, I'd be a hypocrite if I'm obese looking for a slim man, who probably wouldn't want an obese woman in the first place.
I've been single for literally 12 years. As in, not in a serious relationship. I've had sex plenty of times (you can always find sex if you know where to look) but it's hard to find a guy who wants to date the fat, introverted, girl. Yes, I know that fat people get married and fall in love all the time; it's just not been my experience.
I just turned 39. I'd love to start dating again but I'm nervous to because how do you bring up to a potential partner that you've had surgery? How do you know you're not going to be judged?
I'm just rambling and ranting. Thanks for reading.
Miscellaneous thoughts:
There's nothing wrong with waiting to find someone that's a good fit for yourself. Being on the same page in regards to eating habits and exercise is very helpful as you go through your day-to-day lives. If you want to wait? That's absolutely OK.
That said-- there's nothing wrong with judging a partner. After all, this is somebody you might be with for a long, long time. If what you see isn't what you're looking for, why would you waste your time? I think smoking is gross and unhealthy, and I'm flat-out not going to date a smoker. There might be a nice guy who's everything else but misses that one check box, and I have every right to pass him by.
If you find a "man who takes care of his body," he might want someone who does the same. Hiding your past isn't a great idea in a long-term relationship, and he has every right to not want someone who HASN'T done so in the past. (Same as if I wasn't willing to date someone who did drugs in the past.) That is completely his right.
You're right that fat girls fall in love and get married. That's because they find partners who likes the whole package and don't necessarily care about the outside. It's absolutely possible that what you have to offer beyond the physical-- attitudes, character, personality-- aren't drawing in potential partners either.
What if you find "a man who takes care of his body," but is a complete jerk? Same concept.
Sparklekitty / Julie / Nerdy Little Secret (#42)
Roller derby - cycling - triathlon
VSG 2013, RNY conversion 2019 due to GERD. Trendweight here!
I fancy skinny/muscular men with tattoos, think Adam Levine or Charlie Hunam or David Beckham ...
Howver, my partner is a gorgeous 60 year old, 6ft 5 inch 300lbs hunk of gorgeousness who I just persuaded to get his first tattoo lol. He's an awesome partner and bonus dad to my severely autistic 12 year old. Strangely he looks nothing like Adam or Becks or Charlie 
If you are serious about dating, have an open mind and open heart.
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
Oh la laaaaa! Go Kim!!!! ;)
For more info on my journey & goals, visit my blog at http://flirtybythirty.wordpress.com
