A bit off topic: Relationships, romantic

Oh, cut it out. That's ridiculously self pitying and passive aggressive. 

Look: what everyone is saying is don't be so focused on outward appearances. Slim people can be slim but not take care of their health. What if you met a guy who was still overweight and it was because he was a WLSer, only you didn't know it? What if you met an overweight guy who was wonderful but you turned him down 'cause of his weight?

I'm not saying go out and find someone overweight with terrible eating habits who wants you to fry him doughnuts for breakfast every morning. But don't just write off a bunch of people based on what ifs. My own husband asked me out when I was about 200 lbs. He liked ME. He wasn't specifically looking for a fat lady; I just wandered across his path. I liked him, too, so I said yes. Coincidentally, he's built like a brick ****house and doesn't gain weight. If I had used your logic, I would have turned him down, 'cause I was fat and he wasn't.

LOL LOL A brick **** house LOL  I have not heard this expression for a very long time (lol I know off topic but you made my day LOL OMG good for you lol ) but hey on a serious note so sad but I TRULY THINK  she did not express herself properly give her a break cuz if we were having a conversation with her face to face we would hear she is only reaching out for guidance. :-) 

Like I said, this would sound harsh to you, all I know is by what you post. You posted that you want a man based off of his looks & would disregard an obese man, this in itself is shallow behavior. To disregard someone just off of their looks?,without even trying to know them.? You know how that feels, yet you would do it to someone else once you lose the weight?

I'm not on a high horse & it's not about hate, you can vent as much as you want, just like others can respond as much as they want.

My daughter is almost 31 and overweight (not obese) and just recently became engaged to a man who is 37 and obese (at least 400 pounds).  He treats her like a queen.  If I had to hand choose a partner for her, it would have been this man.  Their personalities fit like a glove.  His appearance is irrelevant.  He loves my daughter and would do ANYTHING for her.  I do worry about his health, but to judge this wonderful man and exclude him solely because of his weight is really not smart.  You may be losing out on a prince by doing this.  You lost weight... so could your future obese mate.  How would you feel if this was being said about you?

 Discrimination in any form is wrong.

hi

Maybe reread your post. your comments come across pretty derogatory and judgemental towards heavy people. I was obese when I met my husband. he was thin as a rail and didn't see my fat, he saw me for the awesome person I am. I in the following years gained 80 pounds from 220 when we met and he still loved me. i recently asked him about the massive weight gain and he said honestly didn't even notice, that he loved me regardless of size.

Yeah, I'm agreeing that your post sounds horribly shallow.  How can you be worried that you're not going to be judged when you're doing plenty of judging yourself?  If you're looking for love and limiting that love to a pretty package, you may find yourself to be pretty disappointed, I'm afraid.  The men who are good on the inside are looking for a woman who is the same, and you've got some work to do there.  In fact, you may pass up Mr. Perfect because he doesn't live up to your new standards.  Don't worry, there are plenty of women who will love him for who he is right now.

I was at my lowest weight when I met my current boyfriend.  He was also at his lowest.  When I finally told him about the surgery, he said that he had looked at old pictures of me that were hanging on the walls and thought I looked great when I was heavy.

Both of us have gained some weight.  It is not an issue.  Weight can go up or down.  It is the person inside that counts.

How about you try to find someone on the same journey. Meet someone at the gym with the same goals. Someone you can be honest with and get healthy together. What happens if you gain weight back? WLS doesn't guarantee you will be skinny, or skinny forever.  

Wonderful point. WLS isn't a cure, and I've often heard people say that it puts their obesity "in remission," hopefully to stay that way but never gone forever.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWe true, I have this saying NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU HAVE COME FROM. Once you have forgotten you are lost.