There are so many issues here.  In my case I have 2 ladies on my street that have provided their opinion on WLS - gastric bypass.  One of them had it done about 5 years ago and has kept her weight off and seems to be doing fine.  She is very much physically active such as biking, walking.  She told me why would you get this done?  It is awful don't do it, being slim is so not worth it.  The other women that is about 100 lbs overweight told me to continue trying without the WLS because it is the easy way out.  I totally disagree with that.  It is a lifetime commitment.  I totally regret telling them about this - I should had kept private about it.  So I'm happy I didn't tell many about this because the people I know obviously don't seem to support this.  So on a happier note I am schedule on 9 September for my WLS and will be doing it without anyone else knowing about this.  I am starting my new lifestyle on my own without any support but I can handle it just fine.  I have been discriminated most of my life because I am 80 lbs overweight so improving myself will make me much a happier person.  So I am slowly preparing myself for this, getting what I need at home and have hired nursing staff for 3 days once I'm discharged from the hospital.

I should mention that my neighbour mentioned that after all it is elective surgery and compared WLS as someone getting a facelift WTF*&^ how crazy is that.

I should mention that my neighbour mentioned that after all it is elective surgery and compared WLS as someone getting a facelift WTF*&^ how crazy is that.

-Not crazy. Lawyers and politicians do it all the time. It is called a strawman argument and they compare your situtation to the most infantile/stupid comparison they can dream up to minimize yours.

The facts are the facts.  WLS improves quality of life, improves health (i.e. diabetes, blood pressure, pain) compared to those that do NOTHING.

Dont let them dissuade you

Oh, please.

On the positive side of this, so to speak, your friends didn't inundate you with stories about how everybody they ever heard about or know about who had WLS ended up dead or so disabled they were in a wheelchair on a ventilator with a feeding tube.

The simple truth is there are people who are vested in keeping us fat, and for a whole lot of reasons.  It makes them feel good about themselves ("well, thank the Lord I'm not as big as that cow"), gives them a food buddy at the Ben & Jerry's orgy, or they simply like to be around us because we're so grateful for attention we'll put up with the **** they wouldn't dare pull on anyone else in their life. 

That's their bag of hammers, and not yours.  You are looking to improve your health for many reasons, not the least of which, I would imagine, is to be around for your autistic child and any other children you might have and for all your loved ones.  I was well over 300 pounds (at 5'8") at the time of my surgery, with all the usual issues -- high blood pressure, stratospheric bad cholesterol levels, sleep apnea, type II diabetes, shortness of breath, you name it I had it. 

Well, here I am, sixteen years later.  I still have Type II diabetes -- I lost the weight but I also lost the genetic lottery -- but my last A1c level was 5.8, which is (according to my nurse practitioner) on the upper edge of normal; my cholesterol is good, my high blood pressure and sleep apnea are gone, as is my asthma and shortness of breath.  I can walk more than three steps without collapsing.  I can go through turnstiles and fit in airplane seats and restaurant booths.  I have also participated in my life and my children's lives (they're not children any more, at 29 and 25, but they'll always be my babies) and my husband's life.  I was able to be there for them, and I know in my heart that if I hadn't had the surgery when I did I would either be dead or a featured guest on My 600-lb. Life.

Having surgery, or not having surgery, is your choice and yours alone, and you have the right to have positive energy around you.  If they can't be supportive of your choice, your friends and family can be asked politely to keep their comments and opinions to themselves.    I wish you every good thing on your journey, and remember that those of us who have been there and done that -- and lived to tell the tale, emotionally and physically -- are not ever more than a couple of computer clicks away.

Hi, I get what you are saying. You thought they would be supportive. Not really. It makes them feel defensive. 

As a a parent of an adult autistic child, I'll share my philosophy. I didn't share the ups and downs of raising a unique child because it came back in a criticism especially from in laws. I am polite and superficial. Same with people around me  

I just had my second weight loss surgery and told hubby,2 sisters and a close friend. I am uncomfortable defending what I chose to be my last resort. They tend to watch for signs of failure and show their critical side. I don't want to live being scrutinized  

They can be supportive and helpful or get out of my way. Nothing should stand between you and help for your child or come between you and the care you take for yourself.  

Do what works. Your health is important. Being heavy will catch up to you and diminish your quality of life.