my story, 51 6ft2 394 at heaviest, down to 369 after 3 weeks of pre-op diet

New here, I look forward to hearing from anyone and everyone. I joined this form years ago, but never posted and now I am having surgery soon, I need support, plus I am starved right now and this writing helps!

My first post. I am having the sleeve done on July 11th. I went through all the hoops and circles 4 years ago, but I decided not to do the RYN surgery at the last minute.

Here is why; I was living in Deerfield Il and very nice surb of Chicago, and going to a wonderful hospital. I had recently a year before, had a horrible accident and hurt my back, resulting in surgery and being disabled. I was used to working 14 hours a day on my feet, and was always big at 6ft2 265. In the one year, plus a few months I gained over 100lbs. I had heart doctors, diabetes doctors, back doctors, and pain management doctors.all of them had different opinions on if I should do the surgery or not. It is a personal decision. I decided to do it and went to see the "expert" at the great hospital. He told me because of my weight and because of my diabetes, he would only do the RYN, and no other surgeon would either! I believed him, but I also got the used car salesman vibe from him. I had wanted the band, I was very afraid of the lack of absorption of vitimins and radical changing of the plumbing, so to speak. I will say at the time either doctors were not doing the sleeve, or he just was not doing that surgery.

What bothered me most was I felt pressured. I was told not to talk to people who have had the surgery and failed at losing weight! Really? I was told I had to do this and that for my insurance to approve me, and follow it exactly, and I got harassing phone calls from the office when doctors didn't report to them asap, mind you, these doctors all worked in the same building for the same hospital!

My doctor was in his early 50's or late 40's he also had a good 30lbs on me, and I would say was 5ft10 395! His nasty nurse was 5ft2 easily 270. I asked both them when I first went, and they were selling me, that is what it felt liked, the surgery; why either of them has not had the surgery. The doctor told me that was a personal question, but I wouldn't let up, and I said "get on the scale, and tell me, as a doctor, why you would not recommend the surgery to yourself". He didn't get on the scale, but he did tell me he is not a diabetic, and he doesn't have high blood pressure, and he doesn't have sleep apnea. I told him everyone over 50lbs over weight has sleep apnea, you have no neck, no way a sleep apnea test would say you don't, they never tell heavy people they don't! Needless to say, his responses left me feeling he was not as concerned about his health as I am about mine. The nurse acted like I had really insulted her by thinking she was a big ole fat person, hello!

After doing 6 months supervised diets and losing 30lbs, the nasty calls stopped one day, and on a Thursday, I was told I was coming up on 6 months of my approval, and after that 6 months, I would have to start all over, or they needed to operate on me the next Wednesday! I ws told I had no choice, and the insurance would make me start everything over! I agreed to set date, but I checked with my other doctors and told them I decided to try one more time to lose weight myself.

I later found out, from new doctor 3 months ago, Medicare will approve any of the weight lose surgeries as I have two conditions, weight, bmi, blood pressure, apnea, diabetes. He said any of them would be fine it was my choice! WOW! I also found out that the doctor who lied to me never tried to get me approved under my medicare insurance, but wanted to use my work insurance ( I was on workmans comp still) as it paid more! I had double coverage!

I couldn't lose by myself, and I was afraid I had waited to long, I am now 51, I had also been told insurance will not approve you past age 50! The lies I was told!

I made the decision because I just cannot afford insulin anymore, and I can't walk up steps easily, and at 51 I am letting life happen without me. I realize I am not afraid of the surgery I am afraid of losing my best friend, my oldest friend-food!

I will miss pizza, and going out to dinner, and bar hopping, and cooking and over eating, but I also know I need to cut that out, that isn't life that is a crutch.

You had a bad experieince but listened to your innerself and left that practice - good for you.  I too had to wash some bad docs out of my hair in order for me to move on.

You will miss those things for the two years until you take the wt off get comfortable with the new you and learn your limits.  I do go out for dinner since about 9 months after surgery (and take home enough leftovers for 3 days), I do not drink but others go to a bar and nurse a drink for an entire evening - alcohol may absorb 10 times faster than before SO DO NOT DRIVE, even with only one drink, you cook - although differntly, but as my friends are also older, they are appreciating my low-sodium, heathly cooking style - pot luck work bec people can bring their own food. Also, my friends know they can cater to their own food restrictions, however odd, and I don;t care.

You are right - forget the overeating, but your hunger hormones will be different and it will be easier than today. 

Good Luck on your journey.  Forget that crappy doc and be happy you were smart enough to say no to him -  you learned from that bad experience and you will use that background to select an awesome doc this time.

The pre op diet is the worst part of the process.  Hang in there.  Getting correct information is tough, Study and do your own research. Don't trust all of the "medical professionals".  (sometimes they are motivated my money, i.e. "have to operate now, you can only have RNY or age restrictions").   I am shorter than you and was about your same Highest Weight and older than you.  It is with out a doubt the best thing I have ever done for my health and taking back my life.  Missing food... you will be able to eat anything you can now. Not as much.  You may not want to or you may be repulsed by it. You may decide it is not in your best interest. There is a head game to so much of this.  Finding out why you over eat is key to longterm weight loss.  Hope this helps.

The fat doctor and his fat nurse might have had surgery and failed at it.  Many people regain more than 50% of their lost weight.  Some regain all of their weight and more.  There are many weight loss surgery failures around.

Your diabetes is not guaranteed to be resolved by surgery.  The longer you have Type 2 and especially if treated with insulin, the lower the chance of it being resolved by weight loss surgery.  Insulin is much less expensive if you use a vial and syringes instead of a pen.  RNY is the still the surgery with better results at resolving diabetes at about 75%.  DS has the best statistics at about 98% going into remission.  Sleeve remission is the same as lapband or about 50%.  The best chance for remission is to be less than five years from diabetes onset and not treated with insulin.

When there are two insurances, approval is only done on the one that has the better coverage.  The secondary insurance picks up some of the co-pays from the primary.  Both companies do not pay the full amount, it is split.  There is no age limit, unless it is by the surgeon.  There are people in their sixties having weight loss surgery.

You will have to make the lifestyle changes in order to succeed with weight coming off and staying off.

I wish you well in your journey- I think it is important to pay heed to your inner voice when it comes to finding a good fit with a doctor. Just want to toss in the mix that it is entirely possible to be more than 50 pounds over weight and not have sleep apena. I used to work in a sleep disorders clinic and we see that frequently enough, and I was well over a 150  overweight at the time of surgery with no apnea. 

I think you will find that cooking is helpful- not a hinderence. Have fun experimenting with healthy recipes!

So sorry that you had such a horrible experience at this office & you decided to get help elsewhere.

On a side note just be careful with the judge a book by its cover thing. Yes the Dr & his nurse is overweight, but you don't know them personally, for all you know they just had the surgery, or are waiting on the surgery, hell maybe he/she just doesn't have the money to pay out of pocket for the surgery. Maybe he had a previous surgery that screwed up his insides & he can't get the surgery etc. Most professionals don't want to share private information with their patients & the whole get on the scale thing, you wouldn't want some random stranger treating you like that.

I'm not sticking up for them, being pressured to do something you really don't want to do should make anyone question what their motives are behind them.

I didn't ask them to be mean, it wasn't like that. I do believe when having a discussion about this surgery, asking them why they have not had it done is perfectly fine. In fact, they should have been prepared with an answer. I am sorry for anyone who has had a failed surgery, but when you are a professional counseling someone on the surgery you should be open and honest. If they failed they need to be honest with me about it. I would not be comfortable with a doctor preforming a surgery he is not 100 percent in favor of, nor his staff. I don't think they could be if the surgery was a failure. As far as asking someone to get on a scale, these are doctors I was talking to, he views the human body as just that, I frankly don't think any doctor who knows my weight should be of put if I ask him his. I do think it is very important that I knew his reasoning for the surgery and his nurse, they have seen more than I will ever, and their opinion was important to me. I ask my eye doctor about getting laser surgery, he said, " have you ever noticed how many eye professionals wear glasses, I don't do them myself and here is why". I think any doctor should take that same professional stance. s for the nurse, she should have taken it the same way, I was asking for a professional persons professional opinion on obesity, she is clearly obese. I think as she is trying to talk me into the surgery, asking her why she personally has not chosen to do it should not be offensive, even if it was financial. Doctors and their staff need to be 100 open and honest with their patients.

Sorry you had such a bad experience previously.  I pray you are feeling more comfortable with your current medical team.  I also wanted to comment about the sleep apnea thing.  I was over 100 lbs overweight at time of surgery and did not have sleep apnea.  In fact, my old co-morbidity is hypertension.  

I backed out of surgery twice before-partly because I felt it wasn't "urgent" enough because I don't have a bunch of co-morbidities and I suspect partly because I wasn't ready to accept the lifelong commitment to change my eating.  This is a big decision and you were wise to wait until the right time with the right team.  Best of luck.  

thanks, I know this is the right time and team now. I was struggling with the pre-op diet, but after 2 weeks and only, I say only 10

lbs, I have been losing like crazy! So, I know I can lose weight, amazing I need a scale to tell me something like that, but it makes it much easier to say no to cravings when you are seeing results. I need this for later when a stall comes, it is a life change, I am so ready

I should explain, I think a lot of sleep apnea is horse pukey, and here is why and my personal knowledge. I have a ex who works in sleep study at a hospital. they told me, when asked, if anyone takes the test, and they are over more than 40lbs overweight, the doctor will tell them they have sleep apnea. Now they might be wrong, and of course those sent to have the test are at high risk, but in the 4 years she has worked their not one person was diagnosed without sleep apnea. Snoring is considered sleep apnea. Now I know I have it, and I am treating it, but I know others who did the take home machine test, wore it the entire time while watching tv, because they said no way can I sleep with it on, and no way am I getting a machine. For three days they wore it while watching tv. Test results came back sleep apnea! Now maybe they have apnea while awake too. So please don't be offended that I say the doctor had all the signs of sleep apnea, what I mean is no professional would believe he doesn't.