Recent Struggles

I had a VSG in December, and I've lost 112 lbs pre- and post-op. I've been sitting at 200 lbs. (give or take a lb. in either direction) for 2-3 weeks now. I am amazed at what I've done so far, and it's been an incredible ride - I never would have believed how well I'm doing. I'm out of plus sizes, and I've been regularly buying smaller sizes (from Goodwill of course!) in anticipation of getting smaller.

I track everything on MFP, and since December have been getting in about 600 calories a day, keeping carbs low and protein high. I think my problem started a bit over a month ago when I bought a bag of beet chips, which had more carbs than I should have, and definitely more fat. They made me feel kind of yucky after eating them, but that didn't stop my from trying again the next day. I then found an old back of wild rice chips of my husband's stuffed way up in the cupboard, and at them too. I never stopped weighing and measuring, and didn't go over 700-800 calories a day on any day even with the extra carbs. I began to feel out of control, though, no matter what MFP said. BTW, both bags of chips went down the disposal, eventually.

Fast forward to Mother's day, when I went to a brunch where there was really very little for me to eat that was on program. I didn't overeat, and again I tracked everything. Someone gave me a bag (2.3 oz.) of chocolate covered peanuts to celebrate. I had planned to pick up my nephew after the brunch, and give the bag of chocolate to his mother. They never made it there, I ripped them open and ate the entire 2.3 oz. in the car on the way there. That night, I was home alone, and ripped my cupboards apart looking for SOMETHING. I found a box of rice crackers and ate all 3.5 oz. Later I remembered that I had a bag of snack sized snickers bars that I was saving for a meeting I'm going to this Tuesday, and I ripped through half a dozen of them.

I decided to call my therapist and made an appointment last Wednesday. We reviewed my food plan, and she said I'm probably not eating enough, which brings out the deprivation monster. I told her I'd work towards an average of 800 calories a day instead of 600. Well, didn't I get back into that damned chocolate again that night.

I put the chocolate in the trunk of my car, so it won't be easy to get to. It'll be gone altogether by this Tuesday night. Still, each day I feel as though I'm searching, the carb monster is strong in me, I think! I also don't believe it's deprivation - it's carbs. I'm still not down off the wall yet, I've been working on sticking with protein, but each day it's a struggle.

Does anyone have any insight into how I can get down off of that crazy wall, and back into normal town? I'm having a really rough time, still searching (and sometimes finding) those carbs. I'm now getting close to 800 a day, should I just power through and get back to straight protein/under 30 gm. carbs/600 calories/day? Since leaving that norm, food has amplified in importance (really, more like panic!), so do I need to go back to that until it's the norm again? HELP PLEASE!

Once the carb monster has been released it is very difficult to stop it.  My solution is to find substitutes for what I am craving.  Quest makes protein chips that are basically flavored protein powder.  Kaye's Naturals sells various chips.  Mainecottagefoods sells wonderful sugarfree chocolate.

I used protein powder, Splenda, flaxseed, and almond flour to make ice cream, cookies, muffins and cakes.  I looked up recipes on the internet and made sure I always had something available to deal with cravings.  There is a recipe on the main site for crackers that looks great. 

None of these things are going to taste like the "real" thing.  They are also expensive, but the good thing is that they allow you to have a taste and are not going to make you want to keep eating them.  They don't have the sugar, flour, potatoes, rice, etc. that you are craving.

I decided from the beginning that I would spend what it took to make sure I did not fail my surgery.  I really don't think you can get back on track without substitute foods.  You will feel deprived and keep searching for more carbs.

Thank you, I have the quest chips, and I like them. I am also planning a trip to the grocery for SF frozen treats. The weird thing is, chocolate was never my go-to binge food, it was always chips/crackers/toast etc.

For me, the problem begins at the grocery store.  If I buy it, I will eventually eat it.  I double check what is in my cart - like how did those M&Ms get in there.

Also, I have found the Mindful Eating course that I took very helpful in slowing the eating impulse down and to chose foods that honor my body.  It may not be for everyone, but don't knock it until you try it. 

You are in the midst of an Abstinence Violation - and it is easy to beat yourself up for having some carbs - and what you have eaten so far is not really a weight gain problem - but our minds lie to use and say -"Bad Girl you had some carbs - so now you are a failure and you should have some more."  This is a BIG FAT LIE.  A 3.5oz bag is not a 2 pound bag. 

It time to get back on the program - and be careful you are getting enough to drink, with the warmer weather, you may need to up your fluids.  You can also min the harm - grab a SF popcicle for now when you have an urge.  In a few weeks, you will be able to tolerate the urge to eat and ride it out calmly - it will pass.

Hang in there.  These crises pop up from time to time and they signify that we are growing in our health-building skills.

Also, I have had several DIGITAL scales and I think they use different equations depending on the weight.  I think they change equations at 200 pounds and the result is that the scale may not be that accurate around 200 when they may change equations.  (There is a strain gauge and an equation converts the elec signal on the strain gauge to a weight number). .. Around 200 (or where your scale switches conversions) - It seems like it takes longer to lose those pounds - then when it goes to the new equation - BINGO - you've lost 3 or 4 or more pounds.

Hang in there.  You are working through the Head Game part of WLS.  You will come out on the other side and things will smooth out again. 

I'm quite interested in Mindful Eating - I've read a lot about it, but never took a course! Was that offered over the internet, or was it something local? Thank you for the encouragement, it makes me feel more hopeful! I have to get out of "Oh you F'd up now, you are ALWAYS going to be FAT and GROSS" head! That is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

I took a 6-week course in New Jersey, but you might find one close to you if you Google it.  It's a very Zen way to approach retraining our thoughts about food, eating and fullness. 

See how much you head lies to you - You already are not FAT and GROSS.  Every thought you have is not necessarily true.  Some thoughts are just thoughts (not facts) - some thoughts should flee though the mind and not stick.  OK - if you think  this thinking could help you - then Mindful Eating may be right for you.  

Someone found a book with a CD you listen to but I do not have the title.  

I found a used book with CD (although it doesn't look used!) on mindful eating at Amazon, received it yesterday. Thanks for the suggestion!

As someone else pointed out: If I buy it, I will eat it. Take that another step and note that if it is in the house/car/pocketbook/on-the-table, I will eat it.

I read in the forums here that someone was eating pork rinds. I decided to try them. Loved them. Too much. Had to throw the bag away. The crunch and salt are just too much for me. Triggered all kinds of cravings.

I've had folks try to give me stuff to deliver to someone else and I've had to tell them I can't do it. Sweets are like crack for me. I cannot be around them. If we go to a potluck, if I'm having one of those bad days, my dear hubby will fetch a plate for me with safe foods in tiny amounts so I don't have to go near the pasta/rice/potatoes/flour-containing/sugar crap.

I might eat in a restaurant once a month and only if I'm on the road. I try hard to pack meals when I'm going to be away from home.

My husband has never been a big snacker for anything but regular greasy potato chips. I don't like them, so I have no problem avoiding them. What has left the house is everything with sugar, crackers, and bread/pasta/rice. If he wants a sandwich (rarely), he gets one at a restaurant.

Ugh, I couldn't handle the pork rinds either! I was quite hopeful about them, too. Nor can I handle sugar free fudgecicles. The only snack type food I don't abuse is jerky.