I'm scared!

I don't have experience, but I have compassion.  I hope you seek some help (AA or something like that) -- 

Thank you all for your concern, I really have some soul searching to do! I know I need help, 

the one person I would feel comfortable in confiding to, my sister is dealing with a very heavy

life altering problem that I could never drop this on right now. I don't have close friends. I've always pretty much kept to myself and raising my kids. Now their all gone. I will start by researching AA s in my area.

There are a ton of meetings. You don't really need to tell anyone just yet. You should be proud that you admitted this to us. I know it is not easy. But it does get better. 

Admitting it is the first step. I know how scary this is. I am an alcoholic also. I am 8 weeks sober tomorrow. I am almost three years out from my surgery. 

I was a big drinker before surgery. I lied to myself and everyone around me. But finally admitting it and finding an  AA meeting was the best thing I have ever done. 

Saying it out loud was like getting the monkey off of my back. A major weight that was lifted. Some people felt sorry for me. I don't anymore. I feel great. Sleeping through the night has been possible. I know longer have blackouts and have to go through my phone and think what I did last night. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed and you need help seek it. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Making a phone call to someone will help. It sucks in the beginning when you start out. Most of the people at AA are very kind and loving. Which is something that I was not used to. 

Seek help. You are worth it.  

My relationship with my kids is amazing. They actually want to be near me. 

Like having the surgery we wanted to get healthy. So stop drinking may not seem possible. It is there are so many who are recovering and have 20 some years and 50 years sober. 

There is hope. 

Hey Kimberly. Congrats on the surgery and getting through the first 2 years. I am very sorry to hear about the alcoholism. You didn't say whether this was something you were struggling with prior to surgery or if it's been since. I know a lot of folks face a cross addiction issue where they will switch from food as their crutch in life to other negatives after surgery because overeating obviously isn't an option anymore. As they always say admitting the problem is the first and most important step. Facing it is of course the next. I wish there was more follow up psychologically to the surgery other than the initial evaluation for surgery to help us all with what drove us to the dark place we were in to begin with. After all is said and done those issues still remain after the weight is gone and I believe we need to fix the rest so to speak.

I truly hope you seek out a group to begin working with to address this and begin to heal and get past it. We've opened ourselves up to a whole new happy world out there and it would be a shame to not go and fully grab our hunk of it.

Please lean on your friends here on OH as well as the forums together the initial help you need to get started and to continue on and get past this. Life is very very short at best and if your like me you've wasted way too much on others that don't appreciate nor do they deserve us.

I wish you the very best of luck and feel free to contact me fo support. That's what were all here for. Rich