Ella Fyno

I'm Gary, I am a newb around here. I had RNY 7 1/2 months ago and have lost alot of excess weight. I post mainly stuff that's pretty much useless to most of you. I guess I need to remedy that. I knew early that I would only be redundant to what everyone else was already saying to respond to someone's request. But how then do I share? 

I had a surgery to make myself better for those closest to me. I feel I was failing them in their very best years no less. Their childhood will come once, I needed a miracle to help me. At 200+ overweight, I was very doubtful I would be physically able to ever check my mail again. These miracles came in different phases to me.

1. I had a mini breakdown at my Endocrinologist's office. 01/13/2015 That Woman, (my doc) sat and held my hand for 45 minutes during an office visit. Told the sec to cancel her 10 and 10:30. We talked about how she was going to advocate for me to get help. Dr. Toni Terri is an angel. and on our last visit, she cried while she told me I'm no longer diabetic.
2. I was fast tracked into surgery. The day I finished my testing, my surgeon called with a date. They knew I was getting ready to back out. Most persons aren't this lucky. I'm sorry that this is not so for most of us. Great Insurance, or, they were budged? I do not really know.
3. At 2 months in, a nurse at an appointment mentioned this place to me. I signed up and first day in, found a man named Dx. Got into a huge dust-up with a lovely English Woman here. The vets lined up, and torched my rookie ass. It was a great welcoming for me. A place that wasn't afraid to call my **** But the info was more than worth coming back for. The next day those same vets were being nicer to me.

I've seen the maddening cycles that happen here, to those that come here daily and do this **** for years and not being paid. You Are Miracles! Maybe you guys already know that. Maybe you don't. But, If I see one more post start with " I just started my liquid portion of this diet..." I'm going to jump off of my house. My hat is off to you.

Am I a different person today? Yes and no. I still have issues to work through, only now I can do it with a much better sense of self. Much better stamina and more centered thoughts.

Am I a better Husband and Father? Absolutely! My kids were getting worried about me way too often. I was not fulfilling my duties to my wife either. It was starting to weigh on a pretty stable marriage. Getting out together has done wonders for them. They get to see me walk all of the talk I made for so many years to them. "He can hit a ball 300 yards" "He can run faster than me" etc. 

Now I eat 3 miles of road for breakfast, instead of 2000 calories worth of crap. I lift 6 days a week. I weigh before and after every day. I hate being static. 

I recently had to reenter a business I partly own, and kick some asses into shape. It really went smoothly, given my foot can now reach an ass. It was fun actually. The Big Dawg again and all that jazz. I walk with my wife along the beach now (her only request) How sweet huh? 

I know I've pissed off a few of you here. I realized that when I saw someone who'd been here about 2 weeks telling someone else, who'd been here 1 week how to do it. Grrrrr So, with that, thank you mentors, you've helped change a not so good man, into a really good one. My family will attest to that.

Gary,

You're much too hard on yourself, my friend.  You have valued and savoured and fought your journey, and you're a pretty incredible man as a result.

I'm so much of a dinosaur in these parts they don't even do my surgery anymore.  I had a Vertical Banded Gastroplasty on April 17, 2000, and I have not regretted it one single time in all those years, only wished that I'd done it sooner.

Being a dinosaur I'm also a bit of a crank.  Been there, done that, own the t-shirt factory, bought a time share.  It drives me up a wall when I read posts about how it hurts to eat steak or club sandwiches or eggs or something two weeks out from surgery.  No duh.  As an aside, I haven't eaten steak in 16 years.  

I think of those on this site like AA sponsors.  If you've ever done a couple of tours around the dance floor (or someone you love who has) with a Friend of Bill Wilson, you know they take absolutely no **** from nobody.  They call your crap almost before you think of it.  Even think about endangering your sobriety and they're so far up your ass they could floss your teeth.

Contrast this, at least in my experience, with the sponsors in Overeaters Anonymous.  They're sweet and they're wonderful, but they don't call you out.  Not when you eat your way through Baskin-Robbins' 31 flavours (in one sitting), not when you buy job lots of chocolate bars, not when you do whatever it is you do when you use food like heroin.  But (again, this is my experience in the groups that I attended), they are very strict about speakers not mentioning specific foods as it might trigger someone in the group.  Translation:  someone might get their itty bitty little feelings hurt.

This surgery -- and the journey that comes both before and after -- is not for the faint of heart.  And we are so used to taking the "easy way out" -- which this surgery most assuredly is not -- that it gets even a little bit hard and some of us are running for the nearest Burger King.

Back in the dark ages when I had my surgery there was none of this Optifast stuff going on.  I just showed up on the day of my surgery (which was less than 3 weeks after my appointment with the surgeon, which was the first time he'd ever laid eyes on me) and off I went down the yellow brick road.  I know it's hard -- the stuff sounds like having to prep for a barium enema every day for weeks on end.  But if you're grousing about that I don't even want to know how you'll be after your surgery.

Don't be asking when you can go back to eating "normal" food.  For many of us the answer is "never".  It's certainly not two weeks after your surgery.

Thank you, Gary, for being one of the voices of reason on this site.  I'll sit beside you on the Crankypants Bench any day of the week.

You're only sayin' that because you know I think you're the BEST! You've been a guiding light for me and alot of people here for many years. Thank you for being so complete in your thoughts. It's beyond helpful in this fight. You have my respect and friendship Cheryl.

I love this. I don't even qualify as a newbie yet, still going through my dietician appts, but it is so incredibly refreshing to be somewhere that the truth isn't sugarcoated. Haven't we all had way way too much damn sugar in our lives already? I do not understand folks that want to have every tiny piece of information spoon fed directly to them, instead of spending a little time reading back posts to see if their question has been answered already, like don't cheat the damn pre op diet,(duh), quit smoking before hand, it's going to hurt for a bit, get your fluids in anyway, oh yeah, and don't be surprised when there's a mini stall in the first 3-4 weeks.  

Thank you to all the vets that answer these over and over. I hope that when my turn comes around to do something dumb, you'll kick my ass too. ?

Getting your mind right is so important to succeed at this. You will be fine.

Wow!!! You have done AMAZING. You should be so Proud of yourself, look at how far you've come. The struggle is real and after the weight is off it helps us then focus on the issues that made us turn to food. 

I said I am now the mom & wife my family needs. I've taken care of me (& still do) so that I can now take better care of them. You're doing Great, keep on going. 

Thank you. 

I'm a newbie. I've figured out pretty quickly on this board that ya'll (veterans) tell it like it is. You know what? I like that about each and every one of you... now, I haven't had my butt chewed on (yet LOL), but I haven't even had my surgery yet, so give me time ;)

Your Ass post had me rolling in tears from trying not to laugh whilst sitting at my desk at a job where I'm supposed to be doing other things. 

I strive to do as well as so many of you that have come before me... if my insurance and doctor's office ever learn how to play nice with each other and get me in before I lose my job (I work in the fracking industry... don't judge). See? I do have whines I can let out from time to time.

I find myself mostly lurking... learning and absorbing... Yes, the idea of not eating like I have in the past is a bit of a downer... but having this fat body that doesn't do what I want it to do in my head sucks too... I guess it's choosing the lesser of two evils and deciding what's more important. I wasn't overweight all of my life... well not obese anyhow. I DO remember thinner times, and wearing clothes in the single digits... now I'm getting more, ahem, Mature, and at 51, I'd like to still have some fun with my teenage kids and my Husband.

And if it takes some tough love, harsh reality talk, and hearing it like it is, then so be it! Thanks for your contributions here, I think I'll stick around a bit longer 

It's a great thing. No judgement here, my older sister works for Shell. My BIL is a driver for them too. They did really try and get me over there, but I love Wa. too much.

I'm in Oklahoma, working for a fracking company... do you feel sorry for me yet? WA State is so beautiful! I'm a little green with envy.