Am I totally awful? 18+ only please. TY

im trying, im just not sure how to go about it! ive never called it quits on a relationship. he has some issues as far as living situations bc he's on parole so he has to get permission to move and has to stay in our county. he served 11 yrs in state prison. Im trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he doesn't understand our new society(as he went in in 2003, so a lot has changed). he says I disrespect him when I chat w/ male friends who I have literally known 15+ yrs. he says I need to tell them all to **** off and leave me alone since I have a bf. I see someone I know at the store I keep walking bc if its a male, im accused of cheating. im Miserable... I keep getting asked y im still w/ him.. honestly I just don't want to start over w/ someone new but I sure don't wanna be treated like this for sure.

I am right there with you. There are a number of issues with my bf. Well I shouldn't say issues because that's not very nice, but I will say that there are aspects of his life and personality that don't work for me specifically. My bf is 28 he lives at home w/ his parents, he speaks horribly to his mother (i can just see myself being her in the future). He has made comments about our future children being 1/4th African. He doesn't have much ambition, or any solid plans. (according to him). I know that I wouldn't want someone else to be trapped in this situation. I know that there are guys out there who would be happy to have me, not disappointed. I'm sure that there are men out there for you as well. I can completely understand what you mean when you say that you don't want to start over. It's that stepping out into the unknown that scares me. I keep thinking what if I'm sad? That's an incredibly dumb thing to think. Of course I'll be sad; it's been five years of my life, but When I think about looking forward the the future it might just be worth it. If your like me you fear the pain and uncertainty. How do we make the big move. I keep holding on thinking that it's wrong to give up. 

 It's that stepping out into the unknown that scares me. I keep thinking what if I'm sad? That's an incredibly dumb thing to think. Of course I'll be sad; it's been five years of my life, but When I think about looking forward the the future it might just be worth it. If your like me you fear the pain and uncertainty. How do we make the big move. I keep holding on thinking that it's wrong to give up. 

that's it exactly!

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for.

Life is for living and that means taking a chance now and then. No one should ever settle because change is scary. Could there be pain and uncertainty? Absolutely.  I've leapt blindly and I've carried out well planned changes. Neither was without some discomfort and I wasn't always sure I'd land on my feet. And sometimes I didn't. But I never stayed down. More people on their deathbeds regret things they didn't do more than the things they did.

I am right there with you. There are a number of issues with my bf. Well I shouldn't say issues because that's not very nice, but I will say that there are aspects of his life and personality that don't work for me specifically. My bf is 28 he lives at home w/ his parents, he speaks horribly to his mother (i can just see myself being her in the future). He has made comments about our future children being 1/4th African. He doesn't have much ambition, or any solid plans. (according to him). I know that I wouldn't want someone else to be trapped in this situation. I know that there are guys out there who would be happy to have me, not disappointed. I'm sure that there are men out there for you as well. I can completely understand what you mean when you say that you don't want to start over. It's that stepping out into the unknown that scares me. I keep thinking what if I'm sad? That's an incredibly dumb thing to think. Of course I'll be sad; it's been five years of my life, but When I think about looking forward the the future it might just be worth it. If your like me you fear the pain and uncertainty. How do we make the big move. I keep holding on thinking that it's wrong to give up. 

I know it can sometimes appear easier said than done, but run (don't walk) away as soon as possible!!! Before it's too late. Speaking from personal experience. You aren't giving up on anything or anyone, other than yourself by sticking around rather than waiting for that special person who will be worthy of who you are and all you have to share. Don't get caught up in thinking you can save him or the relationship. That's only in romance novels, not real life. He is not your responsibility. He is an adult, and he has shown you who he is. All you need to do is believe that he is who has proven himself to be. He will not change, but you may. All the best to you :)

A quick way to lose 200 pounds is to kick his ass to the curb. Seriously. He is an ass. "I will only love you when you get thin" is a bunch of crap. If you stay, you will constantly live in fear that he will leave you if you gain the weight back. You do not need that pressure.

You were young when you starting dating him. Go back home and start a new life. You deserve better than this. You have to believe that or this journey will be a tough one for you.

End it.  There are all sorts of red flags flying here, but if he's using your WEIGHT as a reason for why he won't commit, he needs to be kicked to the curb.

If he really loved you - you would be married by now... IMO. 

Once you lose weight - yo may end up with the loose skin... how will he feel about that? would you attractive enough to him?  

I think getting thin gives you a perspective of who you are and who you really want to be with... And I think you know the current BF isn't "it- the one"...

He absolutely doesn't want me to have loose skin. He says that he would want to wait until my skin receded a bit. He says that he is okay with loose skin if I have to have it, but it's not really his preference. I don't know why he just doesn't go to a skinny girl who is already what he wants. I see this being a never-ending list of things to "correct" about myself. He just doesn't want me to go and be with someone else. 

please please please ditch him now..before it is too late...