Circus act

When I was 10 years of age, my best friend Dave Nelson and I sneaked our way into the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus in Albuquerque 1976. We rode our bikes to the Safeway, chained them up, waited for the guard at the locked gates to go and have a smoke, and in the huge back loading doors we went. This was only way a poor Navajo kid, with no Dad could ever get in the circus.

There were all sorts of amazing things before my young eyes, that up to that point had really only witnessed violence all around me. We got in as everyone in the whole show was backstage, getting ready to go on. I saw Women dressed like Vegas showgirls, a strong man, the big guy in the suit that announced it all bumped into me on his rush to the crowd of 15,000 people in Tingley arena.

Meanwhile I found a dark quiet corner of backstage that I went in to find my friend after we'd been separated. I found instead a huge cage in a corner. As I approached it, I saw the form of the back of a huge lion's head. I heard the crowd over my head in the bleachers quiet to hear the announcer speak. I was 3 feet away from the lion's cage at this point, he was laying down staring at a wall in front of him. Just as I reached my little hand out to touch the end of his tail. He stood and spun in a blur, looked at me, opened his mouth and roared so loud, it knocked me on my ass about 6 feet away.

I had never seen such power in my life. This is how I view the battle that so many of us are fighting now. The power of my food disorder is now caged and tamed. Get too close to that mindset again, and it will knock me on my ass. We are what we've been? Nope I think not. We're making a new normal for ourselves. And that, is good.

"The power of my food disorder is now caged and tamed."

I did not cage mine.. We become friends....I try not to **** it off..   treat it nice .. I try to understand it...  

like a cat... you never have a power over a cat... Cat is a cat... but you feed it good food.. treat it right...and it may, just may be your friend... 

just don't pull on his /her tail..

I love this!

That is a wild story Gary!  Get it "wild" story, sorry couldn't resist!

Seriously though, it is a battle every day, every minute, it never stops in my personal opinion.  Yes I am successful but does not mean for a second that I don't crave certain foods, want certain foods & get head hunger!  Of course I do, I just power through it.  

So I agree my powerful food disorder is also caged & tamed, but I know for a fact she is a wild beast and could break out of that cage any minute so I keep one eye on her at all times, she knows I am watching and waiting for her to rear her ugly head, but my power of "No" is stronger than her.  No I won't eat that, No I won't forget my vitamins, No I won't drink with my meals, No I won't go back to being MO. I have been knocked on my ass too many times in the past, its my turn now to be the "Ring Leader" and take charge. I won't go down without a fight!

New normal for sure, and I embrace it, and it looks like you do too!

Keep up the great work Gary!! 

Thank you Daisy. Your positive attitude and outlook are one of the reasons I come here. It is a great example of how to always strive to be happy in this new life.

For me--that's powerful. Thanks for sharing it.

Everyone should feel the roar of a lion from that close. I feel so lucky that I have as well. You can't even describe it to people. 

I hope my food demon is finally caged too. Today I didn't do so well though with stress eating :( 

I'm sorry you had to witness violence as a child. :(