really small plates ..and I still don't like my body

I guess I'm at goal weight ( 135 .. 5'9" and strong) for a long time now ... but my loose skin, excess fat cells apple shape flat ass all depresses me . I put up with a very emotionally abusive relationship for several years because he loved me in a very sexual way though i really didn't love myself.  Now i'm finally determined to do something about it ( I got rid of him thank God )

I feel so vulnerable

Just saying... my post got hijacked.  It was backdated so no new views were shown and all the people who actually viewed it were erased . The fact that this site is allowing this and not aware and policing this is shocking. Next thing U know a virus will be entering my computer when i post here .  Its actually 8:03 not 5:03 :0

I don't get your (initial) post. Are you venting? Asking advice? What the point of 'small plates' in the subject?

Most don't like their body post op, you can consider plastics if you can afford it, or learn to love you the way you are. Considering the relationship issues you've had, sounds like learning to love you is more important right now. Have you had counseling?

Yes both I have had individual counseling and we tried couples counseling together .  But it doesn't always work.  And great sex isn't always enough to keep couples bonded together ... he sabotaged my law school he wouldn't help me with the farm ... he told me he would never let me be successful because he felt I would leave him behind. 

Small plates just means the weight loss issue is done .  There are so many OTHER issues to a happy life.

Counseling doesn't always have to be for the purpose of reconciliation- it could be for the purpose of allowing you both to adapt to a new normal away from each other. He sounds like a jerk, an insecure jerk who needs a woman to be less than so he appears to be greater. 

The weight loss may be done for you (I'm still losing)- but even when I'm done it will always be an issue. You don't have 30+ years of being obese/SMO and just get done with it. I'm sure I have another 30+ yeas of a fight- just a different kind of fight with of a more leveled playing ground. 

A changed time is not a symptom of a virus-- it's probably displaying a different time zone than the one you're in.

Extremely unlikely that you'll get a virus simply from visiting a website. Generally speaking, viruses and malware can only end up on your computer if you download a file or visit a sketchy link.

How are you finding the challenges in this amazing journey Peachpie ? I think we can learn so much from each other ...

Sorry you are feeling down about your body. What really helped me with my body issues was 1) getting more active and 2) shifting my focus to all the things I am grateful my body does and allows me to do. I do a daily gratitude list for all areas of my life and it helps so much.

Just a note about therapy - sure maybe it's not for everyone. But I know for me I hated it for years but I kept going... Not even sure why. But after about 2 years I started to see the benefits of it  I went through several therapists and several types of therapy to find something and someone that I finally clicked with. Just trying to say don't necessarily rule it out. But in any event, there are a lot of positive self help books out there that you might consider. 

Having suffered from serious body image issues even after plastics I truly wish you the best and lots of peace of mind. 

I hope you are chatting with someone (professional: therapist, psychiatrist, etc.) if you aren't I highly recommend it. The emotional part of the weight loss journey is the hardest but the most important IMHO. 

Sending you good vibes,