Overweight and Discrimination

Discrimination is unfortunate. It happens. It's a shame, but humans have discriminated against each other since the dawn of time. 

I was obese, then morbidly obese, then super morbidly obese. Did people have negative opinions about me because of my weight? Probably. They probably also had negative opinions about me for other reasons, too.

We can't control what other people think or feel. We can, though, control our behavior and work on our sense of worth.

I am concerned about your statement about 'very thin and very beautiful'. Beauty is subjective, and weight can fluctuate. Losing weight now is no gaurantee people will treat you as they did then. Beauty may allow you some leeway, but what do you do when you cannot use it to influence the outcome of something? 

Keep being a quality, caring human being. The people with overweening prejudice will always find something to pick at, so **** on them.

Well, sorry you're concerned with my statement.  I have a right to feel pressure from the world to be something I'm not and nearly died trying to be it.  Although, I'm the LAST person to scream discrimination or "make" someone else accept me for whatever reason as I was not raised to be like that, I can feel whatever way I want.  

I thought this was a supportive group...?  Seems more like a "I disagree with you and I want you to know it".  If there's a disagreement, than simply keep scrolling.  As a rule, I would NEVER reply and say what some of the people on here are saying.  If there's something I don't like in that person's vent session, I don't say anything.  It's venting as what I said originally.  It's not to be "I'm going to prove you wrong".   If I wanted to hear people disagree with me, I would have gone on Facebook. Lol

I quote: " I've been thin before.  Very thin and very beautiful and always got what I wanted.  "

So essentially you are saying prejudice is acceptable when it is in your favor, but when it is not in your favor it blows goats. You enjoyed getting what you wanted while you were 'very thin and very beautiful', no?

This is a supportive community. You will get lots of different forms of support. If all you want is nods of agreement and nothing from a different point of view, then say so. If all you want is agreement with your ever utterance, you will find this a boring forum.

Stay classy.

One of my problems accepting and allowing myself to lose weight has been that I have used my weight as a "personality screener" for people.  I can thin out the shallow ones from the quality ones very easily...by just being big.  If someone wants nothing to do with me because I'm big, I wouldn't want that type of person associated with me anyway.  Easy filter!

Now that I've made the commitment to weight loss, I know I'm going to lose the easy filter.  But now I'm going to have to step up my game for figuring people out in other ways, which is definitely a good thing.

I feel your pain! I was totally invisible when I was MO. I am with skinny scienctist. My husband loved me unconditionally when I was big and loves and admires me now that I am thin. I also agree with her on the fact that I now reach out to people who are not thin because they are sometimes feeling alone. Please know that you are not alone and I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. You are in my thoughts.

Robin

Thank you for being so supportive!  It's so nice to hear a friendly voice.  Sometimes it just all builds up and I need someone to talk to

It's a shame that we feel this way from time to time....I know I have a time or two, or three, or four lol. I am the type of person that thinks everyone is staring at me when I walk in a room because I am a fatty. But, those feelings are starting to get a little better on this weight loss journey. I've never had the pleasure of being extremely thin except when I was a child so I don't have much to compare it too. Unfortunately, people suck and there are going to be people that discriminate against heavy people no matter what. There is a cute thing I read not too long ago on Facebook that popped in my head when I read your post. I found it to share here: http://damn.com/flight-for-ea*****h/.  I thought it was cute and uplifting and shows that no matter what size you are, it's all about the attitude.   

My daughter has a BMI in the 60's.  Not lazy at all, but when people meet her, they see fat and think lazy.  She's had many calls for jobs and when she arrives and they see her, they find some reason why all the sudden she isn't quite the perfect match they thought she would be.  She's like to get the surgery, but doesn't have the insurance or money to be able to.  I'd love to be able to help her,  but I don't have a way to help her either.  It's frustrating and sad.  I'd love for her to get to experience life in a normal-sized body, but she hasn't been normal sized since she was 5 years old. 

I certainly know what you are talking about, ever since I lost 100 pounds 9 months out from rny, I feel like I blend into the crowd now, I don't get looks anymore, not negative ones anyways, and I feel people are comfortable talking to me now, when I was really heavy I didn't even get the time of day from anyone or I'd get dirty looks, it's so awful what we go through isn't it?  People don't realize that we have problems and we deal with them how we deal with them, we aren't lazy, we have a disease like anyone else.  I have noticed so much since I have lost weight, big time.. and it's so not fair...

Oh Ikr.  In the times I've been down in weight, I would be resentful.  Even at long time friends who treated me differently, they just didn't realize the self-conscience actions.  The double standard is so readily apparent in society.  I could never be the "accept my fat or else" and post all over social media.  It makes everyone feel uncomfortable if they're being accused of something they either didn't do or don't know they're doing.  I was raised to try and fit in societal norms, no matter what they are.  If you step outside that norm, then it's all on you.

There's been a few times I was so tired and angry that I accused the people I was with of discrimination and it doesn't go over well.  Then you look at yourself and say, who is this?  They get really defensive and don't want to interact with you, deathly afraid of a lawsuit.  It's just so tough sometimes when I know for a fact I'm being discriminated against, can't prove it and just have to pretend it doesn't hurt.