Binge Eating Disorder

My book came with an audio CD of mediations.  I'm going to load it on my phone, haven't listened to it yet.  

With the Audio support, yes, that sounds like what I'm doing.  The meditations/mental exercises are the core of the program - they help you practice the skills.  Good Luck.

I definitely have BED.  I started seeing a therapist last year who specializes in eating disorders.  She suggested several ways to deflect my attention from bingeing when I had the urge, some more helpful than others.  

I felt the same way you do right now late last year, hence finding a therapist.  Even seeing her didn't stop my disordered eating.  I struggled mentally with choosing between what was best to advance my weight loss versus sabotaging myself by making poor choices.  There is no easy answer to this.

Something clicked in my brain after the first of the year to get back on track, and I have.  I feel much more motivated, similar to immediately after surgery.  I have set my goal to reach a certain weight this year.  It all goes back to clean eating, tracking and being accountable.  It's not fun.  It's boring.  It works.

For me, when your mind is ready, the body will follow.  I started doing all the things that helped me refocus, like meditation, coloring and using a workbook called The Food and Feelings Workbook by Karen Koenig.  And being kind to myself.  My weight was out of control for so many years.  To even be at this weight now feels like I've climbed a mountain.

I hope you find that internal mechanism that will help you get back on track.   I can't tell you exactly what it is.  But it can be reactivated  

I am so happy for you. You are mastering what I call phase 3 (I don;t know how many phases there are but this one is difficult)).

Phase 1: 1-6 months post-WLS - just follow directions and be happy with the scale going down - restart - no bad behaviors

Phase 2: 6-12 mo:  Still easy, but need to expand focus from weight loss/appearance to more expanded goal of health (for me - To have a happy and healthy relatsionship with food and my body) At least planting the seed for that goal when weight loss slows and you approach goal maintenance, you have a goal that will carry you through the next few years.  I think if people don't have a goal beyond a goal weight, they may have the mistaken idea that achieving goal weight means that the effort is over - it has really just begun.

Phase 3: Working on the Head game.  I'm glad to see resources show up - The Mindless Eating, The Food and Feelings Workbook by Karen Koenig, whatever works for people.

Keep up the good work!!

You are not alone with this problem. Don't feel like you are rambling. I would abuse my body with food on a regular basis. I am learning to love myself. 

We all need to tell ourselves that we are worth it. Life sometimes can be very hard. Food has always been our comfort. Changing our old habits does take time. 

Coming here is great place to get help that we need. Someone who has never been obese has not idea what we go through on a daily basis. There are so many people here to help. 

You can get it together.  Right a list of positive things that you have done since surgery. Think how your life has changed for the better. 

If there are any trigger foods in your house get rid of them. Seeing you have a problem is part of the battle. Take it one meal at a time. 

You can stop. You deserve to be healthy and happy. 

I don't really know what to add but your post tugged at my heart, so I'm sending you a big hug!  I hope you find lots of support and healing!  

Hi Ginnie, how did it go? Before my VSG, I had a lap band. It helped me lose weight but it also  helped me to develop bulimia. I certainly had undiagnosed BED before I got the band, but it developed into bulimia after. The treatment for bulimia and BED are very similar. It involves making all foods safe and allowing yourself to have all foods. This reduces obsessional thinking about foods and eventually reduces the urge to binge. If you allow yourself to have a serving of cookies whenever you like, you are much less likely to eat a whole box of cookies at one sitting.  Eventually you don't crave the cookies. I realize that this flys in the face of most of the advice that you will receive from members on this board. But I can tell you it saved my life. Eating disorder recovery and strict dieting don't go together. 

I couldn't disagree more. I allowed myself to have cookies whenever I liked. So I ate them. Then some more. And more after that. It never, ever stopped the cravings. For years and years. I allowed myself to have chips. And fries. I allowed myself to get 475 pounds worth of crap. It was a couple of decades, and the end to cravings never came. The more I ate, the more I wanted to eat.

I don't allow myself to have those things anymore. I can't. If I start, I just won't stop.

No no and no. I have a medical diagnosis of BED and my entire team of doctors and therapists is on board with the "do not touch flour and sugar" approach. 

Another "no way" here ---

I have Binge Eating Disorder -- there's absolutely no way in hell that I can eat a serving of cookies and reduce my obsessional thinking.  In fact, that was my "get to 347 pounds" weight gain plan for morbid obesity.

For me, that is akin to just drinking a 1/4 of a beer a day as an alcoholic ... playing with fire.