Family and Dr not on board with surgery, am I doing the right thing? Need support.

You have some great responses above. One thing I cannot reiterate enough - NOTHING about WLS fixes our head or fixes the reasons we ate more than we needed. 

Like one of the posters, I also joined OA which addresses spiritual, emotional and physical recovery from compulsive overeating. I gained 70+ lbs after having WLS and then found OA. Now that I have my program I am very successful at getting the regain off and getting my head screwed on straight. I wish I had OA before having WLS and during the WL phase. 

Cleanses are absolute bull****, and if your doctor thinks that'll solve your problems? Quite frankly, you need to find another doctor.

Brooke,

You might get "biased" opinions on this site, but we know of what we speak.  Some of us are brand-new, and some of us (like me) have 16 years between now and our decision to have this surgery and all the stuff -- good, bad, and godawful -- that has happened to us in between.

First, I want to tell you what my surgeon told me, lo these many years ago, about diets and the morbidly obese -- that would be us, in our pre-surgery states.  Not needing to lose 5 pounds to fit into our size -00 jeans for the barbecue this weekend, but 100, 150, 200 or more pounds overweight and hauling around a Pandora's box of health problems, any one of which could be in and of themselves fatal.

Anyway, what he said was:  if a randomly-selected group of morbidly obese individuals were put on a supervised diet and exercise program, every single blessed one of them would lose the weight.  And has that not been our experience?  In the decade before my surgery I lost and regained the same 150 pounds at least three times.  Many, many others here tell the same story.  Lose 20 pounds, gain back 40.  Lose the 40, gain back 50.  And on and on. 

The kicker, according to my surgeon?  If you revisit that same group of randomly-selected morbidly obese people one year later, only three of them would have kept it off.  And the moral of this story?  For the morbidly obese, diet and exercise has a 97% failure rate.  No wonder weight loss is a multi-billion dollar industry.

And let me assure you that having the surgery is not being lazy.  I think I speak for all of us here when I say this surgery ain't for sissies.  It's a major lifestyle change that won't last just until you "cheat" -- it's a lifetime commitment that, used appropriately, will let you lose the weight and keep it off permanently.  But you have to use this tool and work it -- the surgeon doesn't just sprinkle you with pixie dust and magically all your pounds and your problems melt away.

There are ups and downs.  For myself I had no problems with the surgery or the recovery and have faced no problems with regain -- yet.  I know enough that this might not always be the case, and I have to be vigilant so it doesn't happen. 

You may need, as some of us have, therapy to sort out your relationship with food.  We all had one, and have one, and for many of us it was terribly destructive.  And the surgery does solve some of your issues with food -- if only because you can't cram what you used to eat into a stomach pouch the size of a large egg.  Not without seriously wishing for death.  And many of us have tested that theory, myself included.

You seem in a good place emotionally to consider surgery.  And, in the end, it's your choice, your body, your journey, and your life.  For many of us, having the surgery was the first selfish thing we'd done in years.  If you're ready, you're ready -- and we're here to help you along the way.

You are right on - and the 3% success rate for conventional diets has not improved.

Very clever of you to attend post-op support groups.  This will give you a clear picture of what the tool will provide for a serious and permanent action to life long weight management.

You have received sound advice from everyone so far.  You will know if and when the time is right for you to take the plunge, trust your gut.

Switch physician, that's what I did. I brought up WLS and a list of things backing up why I need it. The doc told me straight up I was choosing the easy way out and that I was being lazy, I got up and left and never went back again. I am thankful I found a doc, who brought it up on his own on my first visit to see him. As far as family, everyone always think "its major surgery, it's a risk. Like I told my mother if she was ok getting her gallbladder removed, it was the same risk. You have to do what you want and need to do. Good luck!! 

It is your decision.  If you are doing this for yourself, then you don't need anyone else's permission.  It's between you & your surgeon.  My sleeve is scheduled for 3/14/16 and most of my friends have been positive.  I am pretty clear with them though that I am not seeking their approval or permission and that this is my decision and one that I did not make lightly.  Being obese is not about being lazy or not trying hard enough.  I think everyone on here that has been obese will tell you that they too have tried every fad diet, exercise, medication, etc.  I say, if you feel this is the right choice for you, then you go for it!  Don't let someone else make up your mind for you. Good Luck!!

all I can add is that having surgery was the single best thing I have ever done for myself.

if I had to have surgery month to continue to maintain my wt loss,I would

It is not the easy way out and it will not make you normal. You will still struggle to do the right thing with food and eating, but it is much better to struggle thinner than morbidly obese. Everybody knows somebody *****gained the weight or had a complication. Follow the plan, and continue to get support, not just in the beginning.

Let me encourage you. I to have PCOS and my doctors told me it is almost impossible to maintain a healthy weight. You have to decide whats right for you. I have very little family support myself but am working through that.  My husband isn't even much of a support because he has had gastric bypass and doesn't follow his diet. I to have tried every diet and nothing works. Its really frustrating. Don't let anyone stopped you from getting what you need to feel good about yourself because that's what counts. I am finally scheduled for surgery and I don't regret any of this. Good Luck to you. Please know your not alone.