Losing weight but still not satisfied...

I loved it.  Had a hard time keeping my boobies in it all night.  

You look great kiddo. Don't ever listen to any voice that tells you any different. I would kill to fit into that dress! I don't wear ladies clothes (except legwarmers). But it would still be nice to fit into it. 

I will always see my shadow as a big persons shadow. It's just remnants of the mental damage I've allowed to happen. It will go away when it's okay to me that I waited so long to attempt to change it. It was going to happen to me anyway. The damage I mean. 

Thanks, Gary. I'm definitely a work in progress.  Both my head and my health.  

Noticed how close to goal you are,  you are rocking it! 

It's hard for me to know how old you are. I only mention age because the older I got, the more health problems I had. Now I no longer have hypertension, high cholesterol, and obstructive sleep apnea. I also underwent successful knee replacement surgery. I'm much more active than I was and celebrate several little victories like being able to sit in a restaurant booth and not having to ask for an extension for the seat belt on a plane. (Too say nothing of not having to order my clothes from Omar the Tent Maker! I can walk into stores and buy my clothes!)

As for you self perception, that comes with time. I'm seven years out having lost 90% of my excess weight and maintaining that loss. When I look at my pictures before WLS, I have a hard time believing I was ever that heavy. When I compare myself to those pictures, I say to myself, "Damned, I look good!"

It was easier to lose the weight than it was to lose my self-criticism, yet it I did it. I'm willing to bet you'll learn that. too.

Oh, Deanna, my darling ... I know exactly how you feel, and I'm about a month and a half away from my 16th surgical anniversary.

If you ask me, it's because we've lived for so long not being able to see the body we were living in (I ask you, at your highest weight, could you even have thought about posing the way you are between those rows of seats without getting stuck?) that when the weight comes off we still don't believe it.  It takes a while -- in my case, a very long while -- to even begin to make sense of ourselves.

As for myself, it still amazes me that:

1.  I can walk through a turnstile without turning sideways;

2.  I can shop in a "normal size" clothing store;

3.  I no longer have to replace my entire wardrobe twice a year (spring and fall), because I've eaten my way out of the previous season's clothing;

4.  I wear stretchy material because I want to, not because I have to;

5.  I don't have to try to figure out the structural integrity of furniture before I sit on it; and

6.  I can take more than three steps without requiring medical intervention.

Our heads love to chatter on about how awful we look (after all, how many years did we spend thinking that?) even when everyone around us is telling us we look fabulous.  You will eventually begin to believe it, although, as Gilda Radner used to say, it's always something.  Yes, I've lost 150 pounds but I could join the circus as the Human Shar-pei. 

Believe it, honey -- you look mah-velous.

Phase 2 of your journey begins...  IMHO, A person's focus must change from weight loss to having a healthy and happy relationship with food and your body.  You will never be happy if your focus stays on your weight.  Suggest you begin to appreciate your body for what it does for you - strength, mobility, distance, etc.  Begin to focus on what your body DOES and your appearance will move into its properer perspective. When you say, my ___________ is too big, replace that thought with my legs walk fast, etc.

Best wishes on your journey to JOY.

I found I can be crazy sometimes. My husband bought me a mirror last year. I thought it was a mirror that made you look thinner. This is where the crazy comes in. 

I put my one dog in front of it to see her size. That way I knew that my reflection was real. 

You look great in that dress. I love that look.

This is an excellent post! When we are overweight we continually say mean things to ourselves - or at least I do  /did. I have been working with my therapist the past 6 months on how to love and accept myself better- all before surgery. I KNOW I will still have flaws and probably ones that will drive me nuts- sagging skin etc but I have lot love myself regardless of my size / flaws. I am bigger than my physical being. (Pun intended /not intended). I started every conversation with people I hadn't seen in the last couple years with "yea I got fat". Who SaYS that ?? Wtf??  One of the things I have been doing is a loving kindness meditation each day. It's a guided meditation and it focuses on loving and accepting ourselves and others. If you have an iPhone you can get a free app called insight timer. It has a bunch of them you can follow. Helps me. 

You DO look great ! 

I've always had issues with self image and low self esteem.  It stems from childhood abuse that turned into dangerous and self destructive behavior when I was a teenager.  When I got into my 20's I stopped with the obvious self destructive behavior and moved on to the more subtle type that is harder to identify.  I'm just now tackling all of this and I'm 42 years old.

Thanks for the heads up on Insight Timer.  I have an android phone, but I was able to find it at the Google Play store and I'll check it out.

Thanks for the compliment.