How do address WLS with a spouse.

I certainly can understand the idea of him being an adult and being able to make his own choices, but at the same time, he is your spouse and your son's father, and needs to make the right choices for the two of you.  He would definitely qualify between his BMI, diabetes, cholesterol, and sleep apnea.  

You may need to sit down and have a "come to Jesus" moment with him.  Hopefully he'll be able to see all the great progress you've made, and make the decision to get healthy for his family.  That's what finally moved me to get my RNY done.  I didn't want to leave my wife and daughter early.  I was about to turn 40, and I wanted to make it to 50 and beyond.  

Have him browse this site and look for stories of people's successes.  Have him create an account, and ask any questions he may have, especially in the men's forum.  We'd be more than happy to help out.

We are living similar lives. My hubby is at least 100# overweight, sleep apnea, on a statin and has a fatty liver. I feel like I'm waiting on the diabetes shoe to drop. I've not uttered so much as a syllable about him considering surgery. He's never once berated, counseled suggested etc anything about my weight and I owe it to him to support him in the same fashion. 

That being said, I don't always feel the fact that nothing was said was healthy for us... It's like not talking about the elephant in the room. So I do and will encourage him to make changes like eat breakfast, not drink soda, use 2% milk etc. I'm hoping I'm coming across as educating, rather than nagging, cause that's really my goal...to educate him. I won't shop for him, pack his lunch, etc he's a grown up and i won't do more for him than he's willing to do for himself. But if I at least fill his head with positive ideas/habits, he'll have a starting point when his mind gets there. 

My hubby's sleep doc suggested surgery to him, I was shocked that he wasn't totally dismissive of the idea, just said he didn't think he was there yet. I just told him I know a gray surgeon if he ever 'gets there'.

I'm sure your progress has his mind moving about everything... Let it simmer, you just keep tossing positive reinforcement too 

You can lead a horse to water, as the expression goes. The best thing might be to continue caring for your own health without pushing your husband. He knows you are there as a resource, but he has to make the decision for himself. 

If his A1C is down, he is making changes.  Keep in control of what you can be a role model without being preachy/pushy.  (Pray that) he will figure it out before it's too late.