It's a sad day in Fat Tony Land

Tony- How sad for you, brother! It is unfortunate we cannot trust one another. I would definitely make a report to Ebay, they may be able to help you. In regards to the car, is there a family member or close friend that you could get a temporary loan from and sign the car over as collateral until it can be sold? Without having to ru**** you may be able to get closer to the market value. Do you have any friends or friends with connections to a dealer that might be interested? Can you take out a personal loan for the amount necessary and have the car as collateral? Just a few ideas that came to mind. You'll be in my prayers. May God give you peace to work through this and find his will. Matt

I've tried everything. I can't go to friends or family, because I am the one they come to when they need money. If I were to reel in all the loans I have out to friends & family I'd be 20K richer. I'm the guy that family runs to when the lights are cut. I'm the guy that bails out when this happens. I wont even try. Ever call somebody that owes you money? Ah.... I can't hear you? Call back. Then they don't answer. I tried to hock the house. I begged for a 10K (minimum) loan, no can do. Car dealers are offering 2K for the car. Book is 9ish Sue him? Nah, leave him alone. A lot can happen in 7 days. God created the earth in 6, I'm sure he can help me get 4K by then. The more time passes the better I feel.

Tony, You can't get an extension on your approval? Here's my thoughts, you said that you gave it to God and he told you "no". As much as that hurts, you have to accept that. Maybe it is not a permanent "no"; maybe it's more like a "not right now". I was supposed to have WLS back in 2003 and was approved in 9 DAYS!!!! Then I found out I was pregnant. Here it is 2 years later and I'm at the beginning steps again. One thing is for sure, with God there is no maybe's, His answers are definate and precise. He is not the author of confusion. So stop beating yourself up wondering "why". Get on your knees, cry out to Him, and get in His word. Allow Him to speak to you through it. He will give you a revelation. At the end you will be shouting because God is Good. Remember ALL things work together for GOOD to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. He WILL work it out. He WILL show you why. He has a purpose and a plan for your life. It is not for us to understand every detail. We just have to have faith in Him. He is the one who can see the end from the beginning, not us. He knows what is best. Praise God you are His child, otherwise He may have chosen not to send down His mercey and grace and prevent this WLS from happening (for whatever reason). Just keep praising God. Praise is the most unselfish form of prayer. Never once in praise do you think of yourself, your focus is solely on Him. Continue to do that and open your heart to Him so He can speak to you. If you are only willing to hear what you want to hear, how can you let His voice be heard? I will keep you in my prayers that God make known His will for your life. God Bless, Dawn in NJ

Hi Tony - I'm sorry things are not working out as well as you need them to, but maybe all is not lost. When God says no, sometimes it's not the way you think. Maybe it's not no surgery, maybe just no at this time. Or maybe he wanted you to come to this point, to have this moment of introspection, to write this email. I believe everything happens for a reason, and I believe that everything will be made clear to you in time. Please don't lose hope, God has a plan.

I was so happy for you when I read your original post about selling the car and getting the money for the surgery. I'm so sorry that the guy was such a creep and did that to you. I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now. Whatever you do, please don't give up. One day, after you have had your surgery and all is said and done you will be glad you didn't. I am nowhere near as close to getting the surgery as you are and I'm still hanging in there. Little by little, we'll both make it. I'm glad you have your family there to support you.

Tony: My SO is a car dealer. He recommends calling local dealers to see if they will buy it from you. He says current wholesale book value on it is $5900 (this of course depends on condition & CA tends to bring a bit more in values). Used car dealers would be your best bet - they aren't all crooks He advises to talk to a few of them & get a consensus on what they might offer. I wish you the very very best. We'd consider purchasing it, but we're in NJ and the expenses to get it out here would eat into your profit. Much good luck to you, Tony. P~ "Life is too short to wear sensible shoes!" "WWCHD?"

Hey, I went through a similar situation. I too asked God to lead me the way if that was the way I was suppose to go. I too got my answer as "no". I was turned down my doctor and I took it as a sign from God. I waited almost a year to call my doctor back because I still could not get this weight off. Here is my theory. God puts these road blocks on life not to deter you from your goal but to make sure that it is truly something you want. If you fight hard then you will attain your goal but if you do nothing then nothing will change. If you don't sell your car now you may later or there may be another way of getting the money you just haven't figured out yet, but God will lead you there. Remember that God helps those who help themselves so never give up entirely. I didn't and I am 7 months post-op and down 112 pounds. You will find a way to lose this weight with or without surgery. You are your own best advocate. Keep on it and I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck and God Bless Paula

Dear Tony, There is so much drama in your life. Maybe God is telling you that you need to find peace with yourself before the time will be right for your surgery. The stress of having the surgery is in itself overwhelming. Your body is in an emotional and physical uproar right now. It is not in any shape to undergo major surgery. I am sure the other poster suggested you see your minister not to borrow money from your church, but to help you with your personal struggles. Take some time to slow down and concentrate on the positive things you do have. I'm sure your family is very concerned for you and they are under tremendous strain from what you are going through and putting them through. Stop pushing them away - you need their love and support. Get off the Phentermine. Eat healthfully, exercise, and take good care of yourself. I suggest you see a counselor, deal with your anger and depression, and see about getting some meds for anxiety. Get your body and mind under good control, and then take another run at this on your terms instead of a time limit. This surgery is about changing your way of life and you can start that now. The journey doesn't end when you have the surgery. It only begins. You have to be prepared to take care of yourself afterwards too. Being thin doesn't make your life instantly perfect. Quit calling yourself "Fat Tony" There's more to you than that. Sit in the front row at church from now on. You are a guy who is used to being in control and making things happen his way. That's not working, so you're having tantrums. That's not helping anyone. Especially your mailbox. This is where you come for tough love, Fella. We've all been there. It's Thanksgiving, for Heaven's sake, so be thankful for all those corny things - that there is a surgery that can help you (that you will have in the future), that you are healthy, that you have a family that loves you (and hold them close - buy your wife some flowers), that your dog will hopefully forgive you, that you can get a new mailbox. Be thankful that you and your son survived the car episode. He must be terrified. You make choices every day about how you're going to handle things. No more pity party! Get up and put a smile on your face. Everybody would rather have a large smiling Tony than no Tony at all because he drove himself to a heart attack. Your family loves you and needs you. Put them first. Life is precious and fragile. Enjoy it every day. Remember - some people look at you and think you're the luckiest guy in the world. Believe it!

Is there an OH support group in your area? Check your local message board? If so, contact them ASAP. We have a terrific one here, and we help each other tremendously.