It's a sad day in Fat Tony Land

It's a sad sad day in Fat Tony Land. First, let me back up a bit. Sunday, I sat in the front row of my church, just like I used to when I wasn't so huge. I worshiped like nobody was there and I didn't care. I thanked my God for providing and was happy to be in the front row and not hiding in the audio/visual room with the other nerds. I was a front row guy again. Thursday night service? Same thing. I used to hide in the back, because I got so huge. I was embarrassed to be out. Then, it just left. Not like I can hide it. Not like people don't know I'm this big. Screw'em. I'm not here for them. (bad attitude in church, but you get where I'm goin). I was happy I sold my car on ebay so I can finally do my operation. I was to pick up the buyer from the airport, give him the car, get my money and go pay for my surgery. My prayer all along was to sell my car. Without the sale of the car, I couldn't do my surgery. The guy wants to reneg on the deal. Instead of 6500, he wants to give me two grand. Had it been enough to cover the surgery, I would have just let him have it and go pay my bill. I still have my dream car, but I don't have the deductible to pay the doctor. Filled out for credit, tried to hock my house (2nd mortgage) and there is no way I can get the money. I got on my knees, thanked my Jesus that I didn't sell my car. I prayed for an answer, and as much as I hate to admit it, "No" is also an answer. Part of me is sad that I am not doing the surgery. I was so looking forward to dropping the weight and becoming "normal" instead of "Super Obese". THe other part of me is thanking my Lord that he put the road block in front of me. I can't uderstand it, but I can thank him for it. I've always prayed "your will be done". I want to scream. Being on Phentermine isn't helping. I've destroyed my mailbox with my bare hands, did a good job too. The dog wont even come near me. Kids know to stay away. Wife is trying to be nice, but for some reason nice is ******g me off. I'm crying as I write this. Depression has taken over, yet a small part of my heart is rejoicing because God is having his way. The car is in front of my driveway with a huge yellow sign on it. I have until Friday to sell it. Father God, I know I've been a pest about this, but you word tells me I can bring ALL things before you and make my requests known. Help me Dad. My will is to sell my car, pay for my surgery and become a better father, husband and witness. I realize you can improve my fatherhood without the surgery, but it's the way I see best. As badly as I want shrink, as badly as I want to participate with my family, I'd rather be in your will. Heal me and I will be healed. Your prodigal son, Tony

Have faith that it will happen in HIS time. Be patient. What kind of car were you selling? Joanne

I might be wrong, but I think the ebay bid is considered a binding contract. You could threaten to sue him for renegging. Unless he is saying you misrepreented teh condition or such...

You're right. It is a contract. Joanne

Hi Tony, First of all *good for you* for getting out of the A/V closet! Although I believe that He doesn't care where you worship, as long as you do - good for you for claiming your life again! As far as surgery goes, everything happens for a reason, I am sure of it. If surgery isn't in His plans for you this month, maybe it will be next month. Or next year. But I am also certain that you are a good father and husband, no matter what the scale says. Yes, I can run after my son since shedding 112 pounds, but I don't think that running after him necessarily makes me a better mother than I was pre-op. It's not a bad day today, because you still have this to work towards and you still have your family. Give yourself permission to grieve this setback, and then move on again. I have faith in you. Kristen

I'm sorry about your situation. If the car sold on ebay, then isn't it a binding transaction? You should call or contact the customer service and find out if there is anything that can be done. They protect buyers from fraud and refund money to them, so why can't they protect sellers? I'd really urge you to contact them and see what happens. I'd also call the doctor's office and explain your situation and see if they can maybe postpone the date for a few weeks if you need to rebid the car. God helps those who helps themselves. You have every right to be angry at the man who betrayed your trust on ebay. Keep your head up. I think the more we have to fight for something, the more we will appreciate it once it finally happens. You know how much you had to sacrifice, so you aren't as likely to mess up after the surgery. I wish you the best of luck and a brighter tomorrow. God Bless Carol G. P.S. You might also want to look into some online used car sites to sell your car that way, it's hard to get the value of the car on EBAY.

Hey Tony! (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) You are so inspirational! God has a plan for all of us. I know you know that and it does take some patience, something we all do not have. I have seen your postings a few times. I have not followed your journey very closely. Why must you self-pay for this surgery? Are you sure that you cannot hire a recommend attorney to fight an insurance company to pay for this surgery? I will pray for you Tony. Something good is going to come out of this!

Is ebay binding? Technically yes, but he doesn't want the car and I wont take him to court. I even agreed to refund his nonrefundable deposit. What am I selling? Mods, please don't yank my post, I am answering a question. I'm selling a 87 560 SEC Mercedes. Can I worship from anywhere? Yes, but when you are embarrassed to be in the front row, I feel that is a hinderance on your worship. "I worship you Jesus, but..... because I'm so fat and ashamed of the way I look, I'm just gonna do it from here. MmK?" Yes, it's acceptable, but nothing is supposed to stand in my way. If I sell the car, I'm doing the surgery. If I don't sell the car, then, I have to accept His will. Can I be a father? Of course. But I can't go to the mall with my kids, because I don't have the energy to walk the mall with them. Park? Sure, so long as I hang out on the bench while they walk & play. Frisbee? Catch? As long as they throw it right at me while I am on thebench. There's lots of stuff I can't do with my family because of the weight. Even movie theaters are a problem. I am going to buy a heavy bag and hang it in my garage. That will help with the Phentermine rage.

Tony, E-mail pics and stats of the car. My husband and I are always buying and selling vehicles. I live in L.A. Let me know, Lea

Tony, Keep your head up. In life, timing seems to be everything. Let your faith guide you through this time of disappointment. In time, it will all make sense. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Brian