Please help need some advice! Touchy subject!

Here's the deal. As of today I'm down 90 pounds. Now of course thats not the problem I'm really psyched about that but my significant other isn't handling the change in me very well. To be honest, I have a greatly increased libido. Even though I'm still at 250 lbs I still have an improved self-confidence even with all the flab that's resulting from my weight loss. But he works out of town most of the week and when he does come home the fact that I'm horny (sorry to be blunt about it) makes him accuse me of fooling around with everything in town. I'm completely faithful but he doesn't understand the fact that for once in my life I feel good about myself and it yes it's manifesting itself in the bedroom. Before the surgery I sat at home and was a homebody now I want to go out and have a good time dancing or doing whatever. When he's out of town he goes out to eat and play pool and he doesn't understand that I'm not the same person I was 4 months ago. How do I solve this without losing my relationship? I do love him but I'm not sure he loves the new me. I didn't have this surgery simply to look better. Yes it's a perk but I didn't think this would happen. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Tonya, I'm sorry but I don't have experience with this. Though I have heard this happening from others who had WLS. They all started out by talking with their husbands/wives. Making sure that they were always communicating - what they thought, how they were feeling, where they were going to be, etc. They had to include their spouses in their journey. Those who had WLS had to do alot of reassurance at first. For some, that didn't work so they went to couple counseling. That helped the majority of them. There were 2 that ended up in divorce because the spouse couldn't deal with the changes. I hope this helps but it would be best to get advise from those who actually experienced it first hand. They would have actual suggestions. nhv

Talk to him in terms of the way you feel. Your side of the conversation should have a lot more "I"s than "You"s. Ask him to explain why he feels the way he does. Maybe he feels threatened now, that he will not be able to stand up to your new expectations - not that you have any, but he may expect that you do. Men's ego's can be a bit fragile at times. We may put up a good front and be all macho, but down deep need that reassurance that we're still loved. Maybe you may also need to consider your approach to satisfying your libido, too. If you were always the submissive partner in a long-term relationship and your're now tackling him every time he comes through the door - that might make him wonder what was going on! Or, in all seriousness, maybe he fears he will not be able to keep you satisfied. In summary, the two of you just need to take a step back, reflect on the entire situation, the changes you're going through and the fears each of you may have. Then communicate honestly and non-judgementally. Best of luck! Carpe Diem!