How Not to be a Jerk to Fat People

This post just about made me cry. I'm not even joking! And I'm in a damn doctor office right now so I'm kinda mad about it lol!

I couldn't shop at all of the plus size stores either so I know how you felt. When I came here and saw some posts discussing being a size 18 and being so big I thought I came to the wrong place. When I discovered there was a BMI over 50 forum I was so happy. I'm glad I stayed but there are times I have to keep my mouth shut because my feelings are hurt. 

Yes I'm happy my clothing size is going down but I hope I never leave the mentality I had in allhonesty. I don't want to treat people the way I was treated. Ever. 

Thank you Kat for bringing this up. I think it's very important.

I just adore you Mute. 

I think you are really amazing little person.

Ditto mute, initially the bmi over 50 forum was the only pace I felt comfortable, for the same exact reasons. 

This is a great post, Kat. When I was in the weight loss phase... I felt just like you did - since I was starting at a VERY tight size 30 and could never imagine feeling as great as I do now. I will probably never be a  single digit size and that's ok - because I look and feel great!

I do reflect from time to time at how obsessive I was during the biggest part of the process, when I was doing a lot of losing. Having surgery and losing weight was my main focus for about two years. I wonder how many people (online, but more likely in person) I alienated? Nobody ever said anything... so maybe not. But, it does worry me from time to time! It is tough when someone straight up asks if you want their "fat clothes" after you fought like mad just to get into an 18/20 - I had that happened to me a few times. It made me so worried to pass off my larger clothes to someone I know IRL because I didn't want to offend her in anyway. Instead, I donated them to Goodwill... when I wish I would have offered them to her.

I'm rambling. Not sure what my point is other than great post - very well written!

And how refreshing is this post?  Way better than all the before and after photos we endure.....this post really deserves 'congratulations!'  You have brought reality and perspective with it :-)

What a great post Kat! It does get irritating hearing from some people over n over n over again brag about how tiny they are. Sure a couple of times great, but every day in every post does wear on you.

It gets to be once you get to goal you want to forget where you came from because its painful. So you get to goal, blend in & pretend everything is ok. You pretend that you don't/didn't have a problem. You pretend that wls was a cure & now you're normal. Too much pretending going on, too much forgetting too. 

A mean, self-absorbed, size-2 ***** is just as much a mean, self absorbed ***** as she was in a size 20 or 26 or 30....

ETA: there have been a couple of times since I have been here on OH when people have been caught lying about their new tiny size/weight when someone met them in person or someone who already knew them joined OH.  Just because someone brags about being a size 2 online doesn't actually mean they ARE a size 2, especially if they own Photoshop. Just sayin'....

Or a tilted mirror.

Wonderful message, Kat, that needed to be said.

This experience is so life changing, that often people forget to be sensitive to others in their journey. It reminds me of a poster that used to demean others that never reached a normal weight. For some of us, getting to the overweight stage may be where we stop. We may never see a normal BMI. But when you lose from SMO to overweight, it is still something to be joyful about.

Further, posters that do little but show up to brag about their size or image and then disappear or never help others, do nothing towards building a community. I'd like to think they are so self absorbed they don't recognize how selfish they appear. Hopefully, your post will help some of them recognize their actions and spur them towards helping others reach their goals.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!