How Not to be a Jerk to Fat People

I am touched by your posting: you allowed your vulnerability to show, and that takes courage. Being obese (in any category) is such a liability in life. It puts us out there in plain view of anyone who chooses to snicker, stare, or offer unsolicited advice. Thank you for the gentle reminder to show the compassion and empathy we would have welcomed when we began our weight-loss journey.

I fight against becoming a WLS snob.  Sometimes when I'm with my friends and family and they are eating crap, I really look down my nose at them and tell them how many carbs that has.  I'm afraid of becoming the obnoxious health food junky that used to annoy the **** out of me when I was SMO. 

I'm a nice person by nature, and really don't want to hurt anyone,  especially people who have been where I have been. Thanks for the reminder that we need to think before we speak or post. I know I don't have to be fat to have a big, fat mouth. 

Great post.  I often laugh about vanity sizing.  In high school in the 1960's I weighed 120 and wore size 12.  My mom was 143 and wore size 16.  Ten years later at 120 I wore size 5.  Now at 136 I wear size 4.

Yeah.  Sizes are complete bull**** these days.  I have one pair of size 16 dress pants that I still have from 1989 (the last time prior to my RNY that I was not in plus sizes). I currently wear them, along with my size 12s (and the two pair of size 10s that still fit after my knee surgery regain).  Those old 16s are loose in the hips/butt but they fit fine at the waist. 

Another WLS Jerk is the person who makes a big deal about other people eating so much.  Those other people still have a stomach the size of a football.  It takes a lot of food for them to feel full.  I am being as big a glutton when I take one bite more than I need.  I am not some kind of martyr eating small portions.  I just have a much smaller stomach and I am filling it to the brim with this little plate of food.

Beautiful post. Thanks for this. 

Absolutely Fantastic Post!  I also want to add that it upsets me when people beat themselves up in posts about the person they were in the "before" pictures.  Guess what?  That person had courage, stepped up and took action to get us to where we are now.  I love her.

AH!  It's one of the reasons I rarely post "before" and "after" pictures.  In my opinion, the implicit meaning is that there was something fundamentally wrong with me before... and I don't like it.  

I suffer from obesity -- at 347 lbs and at 128 lbs -- the disease is there.  It's not a moral failing.

All the pictures are of me and when people tell me, "it doesn't even look like you."

I want to scream, "that woman is me!"

 What's more?  She is pretty amazing.  

I never need congratulated for no longer being her.

She is ME.  And SHE is freaking strong.

I love me.  

I am glad you love yourself, too.  

When I show people 'before' pics I don't just show them the really ugly ones, I also show them the ones where I was almost 400lbs but looking beautiful for my son's wedding... it is all me. I didn't love my situation but I still loved me.