Am I being selfish?

I understand the psychology of how you feel,  but I don't think it's necessarily right of you.  If I could get my husband to have RNY right now,  I would do whatever it took. He's not ready,  and I'm waiting to reach my goal and maintain before I start pushing him.  His diabetes has been out of control for years,  and I only want him to be healthy and live long enough to raise our kids with me.  

Like I said, I understand why you feel the way you do, but sometimes you have to share what is yours to help people better themselves. Her journey will not diminish yours.  If anything her successes will enhance yours.  You should be proud that your success had inspired others to follow your example.  I wish that one day I can be such an inspiration.  

I have a different perspective on this than most.  My daughters had the sleeve done 5 years ago, but didn't get to her goal weight. She still has most of the weight off and the doctor considers her surgery a success.  

I had the surgery in August, with my daughter's encouragement and blessing.  She has been my best and most supportive cheerleader, and I wouldn't have done this without her.  Please give your mom your blessing.  If she gets your support, she will do much better, lose more weight, and keep it off.  

The way you are feeling is called being human. There is another way to look at the situation. You can look at it as an additional victory. You mother sees how great you look and how happy you are so she wants the same. You are an inspiration to her to get healthy. You have already done it and know some of the keys to success so you can educate and motivate her to be successful with WLS. You will know that she is healthier because you were an inspiration and contributor to her success.

Ok, so I'm going to go against the grain here. Yes I think this is selfish,more so I think it's irrational. You made a decision that was best for you and your health, but nothing about it is unique to you. These boards exists because we've made that same decision... Do you have disdain for the decision other WLS patients made too?

But only you know your mom best, if she is the type who has to have what others have, she's not seeing the whole picture of what WLS will mean for her; shes probably looking at the bells and whistles.

I'm curious, how did your mom react when you told her your were having WLS? 

She was scared for me and didn't think it was a good idea. But, I continued ahead with it and now that she sees how far I've come, she wants to do it as well. 

Family dynamics are a b***h!  You may consider this a huge NSV...just say'n.  Regardless, she will not steal your thunder so to speak.  Wish her well and stay in your own lane.  Do not lose your focus!

I think you are human for feeling this way. I have a good relationship with my daughter but sometimes we can be very competitive. When I started losing weight she told be it was okay but I couldn't get thinner than her. 

I guess it depends on your relationship with her. 

I think feelings are just feelings -- no more or no less.  It's okay to feel like you do -- but it's the actions that matter.  

I will say this: having lost my father in 2009, I was completely unprepared for the cold reality of life without one of my parents.  It is beyond horrendous.  My mother is morbidly obese, has diabetes, sleep apnea, high blood pressure, arthritis and tachycardia.  I would do anything for her to lose weight and become healthier -- because once I lose her, I will be an orphan.

So, my advice is this... accept that you have feelings but resolve to be your mom's greatest support.  You've obviously inspired her -- and having your mom around as long as possible will be your reward.

Once a woman was walking through the forest in India, she began being chased by a ferocious Bengal Tiger. She ran so fast, she ran off the edge of a steep cliff and fell. While falling, she grabbed onto a single branch protruding from the side. Above her, looking down, was the Tiger.

The roaring from the first Tiger brought a second Tiger underneath her. Now her doom seemed set. 

As she was contemplating her obvious fate, she noticed a strawberry growing on the branch onto which she was hanging. So, she plucked it, and ate it. And it was the BEST strawberry she ever had.

To those who can hear, let them hear. Who are any of us to remove that strawberry, but her?

An old but good Zen story :)