Am I being selfish?

Hi, I really need to ask this question. I don't know if I'm the only person that would feel this way but I need to know if I'm being selfish. In October of 2014 I had the sleeve done. It has greatly changed my life. I am very happy with my decision. Well based on my success, my mom wants to get it done as well. She would have never of thought of doing it and she is someone that has to have what others have. I understand she is doing it for herself and to live a healthy lifestyle but this was my one thing my courageous move. I don't know how to explain it, I do want her to be healthy but is it wrong I don't want her to do it? Please be brutally honest with me. Thank youAm 

I completely get where you are coming from- it is your one courageous move and no one can take it away from you. Maybe it will be the same for your Mother? Sometimes we are selfish. We are also human.  

Everyone's exerience is unique and whatever happens with her, your experience and success stands alone.  Maybe you need to distance yourself from her while she is going through the process.  You can be supportive without holding her hand thru every step.  It's ok to take a few steps back from any relationship if you need to.  That isn't selfish in my book, that's self preservation. 

My father did a similar thing about a year ofter my revision.  He went on a dramatic diet - cut his calories to 700 a day and began competitively race walking.  He went from 240 pounds to 150 pounds and is keeping it off for the most part.  Yay for him, but it did **** me off at the time.  He was sort acting like - See it is possible without surgery!  He is always quick to blame any further illness or health issue on my surgery.  It is frustrating and I am secretly waiting for his regain to happen - which it will because he hasn't solved any of his food issues. But that also makes me feel like I am a bit of a *****  His smugness bugs me to no end, but I am happy for him too.  I want him to be healthy and fit and to feel good.  So I let those feels go - the goal is the same, health and happiness.  We came to it differently  but who cares?

Congrats on your success.  Whatever your Mother does or doesn't do shouldn't take anything away from how you feel about it.  

Thank you very much for your kind words and taking your time to reply to me. Sharing your own personal experience, helps me know I am not alone. Congratulations on your success as well. 

There are three C's that I try to live by when dealing with others.  I did not Cause it, I cannot Control it, I cannot Cure it.

Your mother's reason for surgery pretty much dooms her from the start.  She will most likely be a "flash in the pan", losing a lot of weight quickly, buying and wearing beautiful and tiny clothes, then losing interest and ballooning back to her old weight or higher.

Do whatever it takes to be a model of success. The courage is not in deciding to have the surgery.  The real courageous move is maintaining your weight loss and health this year, next year, twenty, thirty and forty years from now.  That is something nobody can take away from you.

Thank you very much. That really does put it in a better perspective for me.

I think both these responses are solid.  Let your mom take her own journey her way and because you are almost two years into yours, you will have a different experience, need to use some new skills as you mature in your journey.  

The real rubber hits the road for the long haul, so just concentrate on making your own story a long term success.  If you mom has her own successes yey her - it won't take anything away from you.  

WLS is not a competitive sport.

Touchè. Very true and I do need to realize we are not in competition. Thank you.

Selfish? No. Human? Yes. 

Youve already made your courageous move and no one can take that from you. 

Thank you for helping me realize my success is my own and even if she does do it, it doesn't change what I have done. I guess I just need to get over the fact I feel it would devalue it a bit. Thank you. 

The only person who can devalue it is you.  Continue to respect and honour the gift you've been given. You got this.