How to be happy in your own skin

My story is deep...being bullied as a child and constantly being called fat, hearing moo, and wide load etc can really damage a young soul, my spirit was broken long ago, that chubby girl of 8-15 is still part of me. Even at my lowest weight, people telling me how beautiful I was I never believed them. I will always be that kid that learned to defend herself. That chubby girl who will always believe she is fat. How do you move past this? How can I look in the mirror and be happy with who I see. I have ruined relationships over this, my sex life will always suffer, I am my own worst enemy. 

Lots of therapy. Finding a good therapist that deals with body dismorphia.

That and positive self talk.  Don't talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend or loved one. Negative self talk can be really damaging.  

Good fitting clothes. Nothing ugly or that does not fit right. 

Eventually things will start changing. 

you have therapy for as long as it takes to overcome.

This isn't something you're just going to "get over" on your own.  You need some professional guidance to heal what I call the "hole in the soul".  Find someone who specializes in eating disorders, body dysmorphia or trauma therapy to help you on that journey. 

Most of us need some professional help to learn good coping skills and to learn how to heal from the years of abuse (and self-abuse) that was heaped on us.  Good luck on your journey, Dolly!