Psychology of eating....

I am just finishing up my 6 months of pre-op nutrition appointments and I have been seeing a psychologist to get my emotional eating under control.  This last month my "homework" was to write down when I eat and why.  I have found that when I eat things I shouldn't, like sweets or fried foods, it's as kind of a reward to myself.  I am rewarding myself for doing so well for a few days, or for making it through a tough day at work without killing anyone (jk).  I also have found that I eat as a celebration type thing - date night, family gatherings, etc.

My question is this.  I know I have to change those habits and replace them with something healthy.  I am just wondering if any of you have had this experience and what did you replace those habits with?  

You have described me.  I hit goal back in August.  While losing weight, I had a fairly easy time finding other things to do when I felt like eating.  I walked, excersized, shopped for new clothes, window shopped, read this forum, etc.  I'm maintaining without difficulty but I'm going though some really stressful stuff right now and find myself looking for an outlet.  Out of nowhere I find myself craving food, but I recognize it.  I cannot find an activity, or mind set at the moment that satifys me.  I made an appointment with a theripist yesterday and hopefully there are some tools that will help me deal with these things better. 

For the time being, my plan is to walk more than I have been.  It acts as a stress reliever for me and I just need to do more of it.  It was eary to do when I was losing but now that I don't want to lose anymore, its harder to get motivated.  I had someone tell me to excersize more so I could eat more but that doesn't sound like a good plan.

If you come up with any great ideas, please share them.

Thanks

Congrats on reaching your goal!  I hope I can be as successful as you have been!  I have been able to figure out the eating when I am stressed, I color in an adult coloring book or walk, or clean my house, that seems to help.  I am just stuck on the "rewarding" and "celebrating" things...lol

Smart plan.  You CANNOT exercise overeating away.  I am at the period also - I am taking a Mindful Eating class. I also have been researching the state of medical knowledge of weight issues.  This is the most fascinating thing that I have found.

The Difference between HUNGER and SATIETY.  Hunger is the sensation to eat.  Satiety is the feeling that we have had enough and with a smile on our faces we push ourselves away from the table and say, "Wow, that was a great meal,"  and we do not even think of food for hours even though the food has left our stomach in an hour. 

Chemically, satiety is more than the absence of hunger.  These sensations are controlled by different hormones (nuero-active chemicals that your body produces).  Grehlin is involved with hunger.  When Grehlin level goes down, hunger goes away.  But, the absence of hunger is NOT satiety.  The feeling of satiety does not occur until Peptide YY336 levels go up.  Before I did this research, I did not know that hunger and satiety were two different sensations. 

When you eat improperly, are you feeling real hunger or is it just that you do not feel satisfied?  Could you have a delayed YY336 response??

In the past, sometimes we overate because we want the feeling of satiety, not just the absence of hunger.  Now, if I feel that my stomach is physically full (by measuring the food I ate), I wait and say - "I hope my YY 333 kicks in soon," and often it does. I think that some 'emotional' eating is due to a lag in YY336 response. 

Eating protein boosts protein YY faster than other foods, as well.  So does coffee (even decaf).

I would say that ALL of us have used food as a reward at one time or another.  The key to success after WLS is to recognize the danger in doing this.  We have to rethink everything about how we relate to food and this is a great place to start.  Using food as a reward after WLS is you sabatoging your own success, plain and simple.  We are so used to using food for celebration, for easing boredom and stress, for reward that it's really hard to wrap your head around not doing it.  Food is fuel for the body... nothing more.  Don't make the mistake of giving food more power than it actually has.

I have learned to make celebrating more about spending time with family and friends than about the food being served.  It was hard to separate it out in my mind, but I usually spend the first few minutes at an event just looking around at everyone there and appreciating they are giving up their time to be there.  I listen to the laughter and the conversations going on around me. That changes my focus and helps me stay on plan.

When I'm bored or stressed I try to find things to busy myself.  My new favorite activity is adult coloring books.  It takes me several days to finish a page and it is so relaxing.  I also garden and I like to build things.  I have a new love of power tools!

If I reach a milestone I sometimes get a massage or buy a new pair of shoes.  I love shoes.

Good for you for taking the time to really think about this.   Getting the "head stuff" right is the hardest part of the WLS journey.

I'm working on this too.  I suffer from "because I deserve it" syndrome.  I was rewarded for good behavior as a child with treats and that has carried thru my whole life.  When I need to cheer up - have a snack - after all I deserve it for getting thru X, Y and Z.  When I'm sad, have a snack, because I deserve to be cheered up.  You get the idea...  I've been trying to reframe what it is that I really deserve and how do those treats help me get where I want to be.  They've done nothing but get me very fat and made me feel better for a moment or two.  But, in the end the why doesn't matter as much as stopping these bad habits and finding healthy habits that give me the same sense of accomplishment without food.  It's hard to do!  

One thing I do is I got some Bath & Body Works lotion that I LOVE the smell of, and I deserve to smell good and breathe it in.  So, I'm using more lotion these days.  I also started doing some adult coloring books and 'zentangles' because I love color and it feels good to do.  Exercising helps too even though it's hard to do, I keep focusing on that sweet, relaxing endorphin reward I get after I'm done, and try to visualize that while I'm sweating and feeling sorry for myself that I can't do as much as the others around me.  Or, I call somebody and talk about what I'm feeling.  I've been going to Overeaters Anonymous and have gotten a few phone numbers of people who say I can call them and they understand and are good listeners (most of them).  They have on-line meetings too.  I go on-line and read posts here and join in on different conversations, too.  I just have to remember to make better choices, but sometimes I still feel like I deserve a treat.  I just will not quit!  I keep looking for ways to change these old behaviors so I can be successful once I get my surgery.  

I'd be glad to friend you here, if you want!  The more support we have the better it's gonna be!

I often rewarded myself with a HUGE meal for getting thru a hideous week at work. 

Post-op I changed jobs ;) that helped.

Seriously though... find healthy ways to cope with stressors is so important because life $#!& is going to happen even after surgery and you need a new go-to... so the quicker you find one that is healthier than enough bread and pasta to feed 4 (that was mine)... a walk, a drive, a chat with a friend, etc. and some new rewards the better.

Best to you!! 

Thank you all so much for your advice.  I truly appreciate it!

I do not reward myself with food anymore.  It didn't make sense anyway.  Lose weight and reward myself with the very thing that will put the weight back on???  I rewarded myself with things I have wanted or outings or simply some relaxing time.  If I did well one month I rewarded myself with a facial...I never had one and always wanted to get one.  Another time I promised myself if I could get to 199 I would stop dying my own hair and start getting it done professionally done (I haven't dyed my own hair for over three years now).  I also did things like go to a play or comedy show.  I also have done pajama day...and just relaxed on the couch with a book.

There are so many things you can do to reward yourself for many milestones and goals.  Not just weight goals but getting into a certain size jeans.  Or finally being able to run a mile.  Or being able to go a whole month eating healthy.  Or not skipping a workout all month.  Any good, healthy behavior can be rewarded in a small way.   

As far as celebrations, most are centered around food still.  But my attitude about what I am going to eat has changed.  For Christmas for instance they had pot roast and all kinds of delectable food, but I had only pot roast and green beans ...nothing else because I filled up on the dinner.  When I see a huge meal in front of me... I zero in on the protein and then the veggie.  Put that on my plate and eat.  Usually that is enough and I am more than satisfied.   

With stress...I guess I am lucky.  When I am stressed I lose my appetite.  So that has never been a problem 

I will admit I have a cheat day every month.  Where I allow myself to have something I have been craving guilt free.  It's nice to have that day to look to as a way for me to tell myself...don't eat this now, wait till your cheat day.  Having that day has saved me from all kinds of mistakes.  I also always, always have a piece of cake on my birthday.