I guess I've just let people talk to me that way because it's old habit. I didn't stand up the the ex husband when he would talk down to me and I don't do it now. I start to and then I just shrug it off. I need to grow a back bone lol. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with you.  You sound like a really nice person.  A person that deserves to be treated kindly.

Use this time to find your voice.  You may find that when you do, you have less need to "eat your words."

The reason that people think that WLS causes the lose skin is because no one else keeps the weight off without surgery, so by the time regular dieters are tired of the saggy skin, their weight is already coming back.  WLS is the only method that helps people get and keep the weight off. (Actually 3-5% of people who take weight off without surgery keep it off - so it's not actually zero, but you are old enough to know if you are or are not one of those lucky few  3-5%.)  Do what is best for you.

I always think that people are entitled to have opinions, but you need to give them the importance they deserve. (It is the opinion version of Garbage in, Garbage out.)

Best of courage for you to do what is right for you.

Rule #1:  Don't let the turkeys get you down!   Just tell 'em you're taking things a step at a time and you'll cross that bridge when you get there. 

This is my Facebook prior to my VSG on 12/21. I figured being direct is the best way to confront naysayers.

"Friends and Family ,I wanted to take the time to share with you the journey Im about to venture on. This has been something that Ive thought about seriously  for the past 3 years or so. Now that the opportunity  financially is there ,but most importantly mentally I feel confident,I will be having Bariatric  Surgery on Monday. Now many people that I have told in confidence have been really supportive and also weary, rightfully so though. But overall this is my decision and I plan to follow through with it. I know that there are different opinions about these type of surgeries,some good and some bad. But honestly I would prefer that you will respectfully hold on to those opinions and just send positive energy. Thats all I ask of you. Thanks so much for being there for me and I look forward to taking this first step in my journey."

Yes people do have their opinions but don't worry you are young and you will be fine. I work out and power walk every day and it has helped a great deal. Good luck and thanks for the post. I remember years back someone told me that it's none of our business what other people think. I love that.

Robin

Whatever happened to "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all?"

Sometimes it seems that if our pre-op "friends" aren't busy telling us about all the people they know (or know of) who died (gruesomely, always gruesomely) from this surgery, they're telling us about how God-awful we're gonna look after we've lost the weight.

I will admit, fifteen years out, that naked I closely resemble a Sharpei who lost the dog fight.  Gravity is generally winning and I'm pretty much ready to surrender.  My abdomen is covered with scars (from my open VBG in 2000, from my panniculectomy the following year, from my two c-sections) but to me they're badges of honor.  That and the fact that I am no longer in possession of my factory-issue belly button -- my plastic surgeon had to give me a new one after the panni.  That just appeals to me somehow.

You have to remember that when I had my surgery I was 43 years old, had been overweight forever, had gained and lost the same 150 pounds probably three times in a decade, I'd been pregnant twice, yadda, yadda.  My skin was pretty shot to start with, and once you're over 40 you start losing the elasticity in your skin.  Menopause, while bringing with it considerable benefits in my book, doesn't help with the skin thing.  So I was behind before I started, if you know what I mean.

Genetics plays a big part as well.  Do any of your "normal" size blood relatives tend toward saggy skin?  I was at least blessed to have good skin on my face -- I don't have a lot of wrinkles and it's not bad, but the rest of me could scare people.

So I have baggy arms and baggy inner thighs and lumpies and bumpies here and there.  I think the last time I got in a bathing suit was 2013, and who would I be trying to impress in any case?  My husband's immune to what I look like by now, and when I put clothes on I don't look half bad if I do say.  Not twenty, but no bad.

I keep saying if I ever win the lottery I'm getting a full body lift -- and putting my boobs back where they're supposed to be on my chest -- but I've learned to love this body.  It's taken me 15 years but I love this body.

As for those who are giving you grief, just tell them to blow it out their ear.