And now, I wait....

I finally reached the date when I could submit my information to the Insurance company for approval. They needed 2 years of weight history so I had to wait.  I called and left a VM the Sunday before, just so my VM was the first thing they heard Monday morning. I called back on the 4th because I hadn't heard from them by lunch time. When I got a VM advising me that all of my info was submitted, I cried. I was told that I now have to wait at least 2 weeks for a reply, which I am oddly ok with.

I have gained 6lbs over the last 3 months so this is giving me time to lose it before surgery..my goal is to lose 15 lbs but I am not putting that pressure on myself..it's a hope, not a goal. I had stopped keeping track of my food and water intake and I need to get back on it. No more sugar, no more carbs. I got to have my LAST Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. No more excuses. No more "just one more". It's time. 

And now I am pacing constantly. I am walking past mirrors and grabbing my fat. I am pulling the skin on my face so I can try to get an idea of what I am going to look like. I am going thru my closet and throwing away clothes. I am watching my 600 lb life and Skin Tight, trying to wrap my head around what is going to happen. 

In 3 months, my entire world is going to be different and I am SO EXCITED! 

Good for you! I feel the same way. I started this journey in September thinking the time would drag, but it's already January! I am worried about the whole process with my insurance company, but I'm not trying to overthink it. 

I still can't get myself to look at myself in the mirror...too much shame and embarrassment.

Don't feel shame! Feel proud that you're finally strong enough to do something about it! We are about to look and feel AMAZING! 

Hope it all goes well with the insurance. It does go fast, can't believe I am almost 18 months out...