Clarity ensues

(deactivated member)
on 12/28/15 12:05 pm

A few days ago, I posted something on this forum that spoke of my confusion about some feelings I was having that I could not explain or understand. I called it 'kind of confused'. I was able to honestly speak about it because I felt anonymous yet connected. I could not find a way to tell my wife.

Yesterday (Sunday) evening we were talking, and I mentioned I was taking off today to go see a counselor. "Why? What is going on?" Was her immediate question.

After sitting in my chair and staring out a window for a few minutes not knowing how to begin. I showed her this website for the first time, and the responses I got back for my concerns. She read each one slowly, sometimes twice. She didn't ask me anything.

When she was done, she looked up at me just as a tear rolled down her face. She hugged me, and we talked on our livingroom couch. I got alot of worries out, and so did she. It was really productive and relieving.

This happened because of some caring people here. You're my brothers and sisters in my mind now. It really matters to me.

This is the true genius of this place for me. THANK YOU.

H.A.L.A B.
on 12/28/15 12:12 pm

RNY on 05/14/08

ooo.. sweet..

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

(deactivated member)
on 12/28/15 2:07 pm

Hala,

You were the first person to bring up hormones to me a while back. I always pause to read your stuff because you posses a perfect mix of knowledge and a hatred of B.S. I'm glad you're my friend.

akanikkie
on 12/28/15 12:24 pm

VSG on 04/27/15

So happy for you both!!

HW: 448; SW: 376; CW: 321

Grim_Traveller
on 12/28/15 12:41 pm

RNY on 08/21/12

Caring? I thought we were *****es and hags. Who knew?

It's good that you talked to your wife. It can be really difficult, and cause some pain and trouble sometimes. But not being open and honest is a certain recipe for disaster.

6'3" tall, male.

Highest weight was 475. RNY on 08/21/12. Current weight: 198.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

(deactivated member)
on 12/28/15 2:14 pm

I've seen you become both a ***** and a hag, when someone begs for it anyway. But, when someone really needs a lift, a good word, or advice on an expert level. You're the guy Grim.

You have a great brain, quick wit, and a deep subject knowledge. I consider you a great Ambassador for this place. Thanks Man.

rocky513
on 12/28/15 12:45 pm - WI

I love this, Gary! We see so many marriages drift apart after WLS. It's refreshing to see the partner of a WLS patient want to learn about the emotional ups and downs that go along with having surgery. You are a lucky man to have a wife that is willing to look at the negative along with the positive and love you through both. You'll get through this emotional roller coaster and come out the other side stronger. Give your wife a big hug from me!