Misery loves company

So they say "misery loves company" and this miserable soul is looking for company.  I have to admit (repent?) that the last three and a half years of my "pouch life" have been pretty much handed to the dogs. I could give you all kinds of excuses if I wanted to but the truth is I took my pouch for granted. Admittedly, 4+ years ago even after surgery I could eat almost anything and not get sick.  Even if I dumped, I moaned and groaned and threw up and still went on with the horrible behavior.  Now the occasional binge and intentional ignorance, has led to me paying for it.  I am about 100 lbs away from where I am supposed to be, when I used to only 35 lbs. away from goal,saddened by the gift I took for granted and perplexed because now that I keep growing in size, I  no longer have anymore clothes I can fit into.  Financially, I am not in the place in which I can afford a NUT again and I definitely can't just go out and buy a new wardrobe. 

Normally I wouldn't do this (put my business out in the public eye), but I am DESPERATE to hear from anyone else that has taken their pouch for granted and successfully come back swinging. IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE???  How did you get back on track?  I will take anything that is given--advice or criticism! Thanks.

When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's difficult to remind yourself that your initial objective was to drain the swamp!

I've never heard that before.

I'm sorry that you found yourself in this situation, but sadly I've seen that it can be pretty common. Have you tried cross posting this on the rny forum? I also heard there's a back on track forum, I'm not sure how active it is.

I'm still a newbie in active wl mode so my advice is coming from that direction. All I can say is that you've got a great tool that you admit you've taken for granted but it still works if you use it properly. Some of the things you've described sounds like a mental issue, I'm talking about the continually eating foods that make you dump/get sick. I don't dump but can understand using food as an emotional crutch/abusing it. I think therapy or joining a support group like OA can help a lot, & its free. Getting to the root of your eating is important for long term success.

You've lost the weight b4 & you can do it again. I'm not sure what the protein requirements are for rny'rs since you still malabsorb so try reaching out to some of the vets like Grimm,Laura & Rocky etc on the rny boards to get some guidance. For me I shoot for 80g of dense protein, 80 - 100oz of water, & under 50g of carbs. I try to aim to get closer to 30g of carbs, along with my vitamin requirements.

Go back to tracking, measuring & logging everything in an app like my fitness pal. You won't know what to cut back on if you don't know where you're at, & if you can get a set of labs done to make sure nutrition wise you're still ok. Best of luck to you. You can do this! 

Thanks for your support and advice, T. I have started using Fitness Pal again starting today. It definitely made a difference!

Our surgery dates are one day apart.  Mine was 10/16/2007.   I have had ups and downs and can tell you that you can use your tool to lose and maintain your weight.  It is not easy or fast. 

Make up your mind to lose a pound a week.  By next Christmas you can be 52 pounds lighter.  Sometime in 2017 you will reach your goal.  It is not instant gratification and it will not be quick like right after surgery.

Get yourself a digital kitchen scale, a fitness tracker, and an excellent bathroom scale.  Start using My Fitness Pal to track everything you eat and drink.  Weigh yourself every single day.  Not weighing is part of the reason for gaining.  There is a site at iifym.com where you can compute your calorie, protein, fat, fiber, and carb goals.

Make 2016 the year that turns your life around.

White Dove, you're a BRILLIANT advisor. It is reassuring to know that people still care about people this much.

She's pretty wonderful. Looks great in a bathing suit, too.

Thank you for your words of encouragement.  Sometimes I wonder if my tool is broken, but I know it's just my perspective and not true.  Thank you for your advice. I have just recently purchased a kitchen scale and bathroom scale.  I have a fitness tracker on my phone and will update the app.  I have an account on My Fitness Pal that I started ages ago but never kept up with. I know I will need to update that, too.  Thank you again!!!

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

P.S. You had surgery on my third anniversary! :)  Just another reminder that I WLS as an anniversary gift to myself.