Mourning Food

My family is having a harder time with this than I am, but their reaction seems to be making my feelings about what I cannot currently eat come out. My husband almost got into hiding what he was eating and when we hosted a baby shower on Sunday for my youngest son and his girlfriend, I did most of the cooking.  I made a couple of nibbles that were safe for me and everything I served was low fat. My middle son's girlfriend made an awesome cake and my husband made cookies so I did not have to touch or taste sugar. But when it was time to eat, my sister asked if I was uncomfortable with everyone stuffing their faces? Until she asked, it didn't bother me at all and I was happy to see our guests enjoying the food. Having no appetite to trigger when to eat is still something I'm trying to get used to because I forget sometimes to eat on time. As part of this whole weekend, while family was down, the evening before we went for dinner at a local Mexican restaurant where I know the owner. I felt very comfortable ordering a side of beans and a side of guacamole while everyone else got huge plates of food much of it fried. This time my husband worried that I was uncomfortable. I was satisfied after just a few bites of each of my sides and got to go boxes. The kids polished them off with tortilla chips later in the night, so it worked well.... But I think that folks just are not used to my new way of eating... Or not eating, and their discomfort makes me sad.

Bravo for you!  This is a dumb question but I gotta ask...I'm curious, do you carry 1oz medicine cups for when you eat away from home?

I have a ceramic coffee scoop which measures 1 tablespoon. I can eat about three tablespoons before I experience the "full" feeling. I keep the spoon with me for measuring since I can rinse it in the water glass I'm not using and wipe clean on my napkin. I will measure our four spoonfuls but normally cannot eat it all.

Hi Cate - I'm pre-op and anxious that I will suffer from depression if my cravings for food are as strong as they are now after I have the surgery. Prior to your surgery, did you crave food even when u weren't hungry? And if so, did that stop or lessen for you post surgery? I eat when I am not hungry - so even tho the surgery takes hunger away, I'm scared I will still want food. What do u think?

Prior to surgery I did crave food especially carbs (grits, rice, potatoes, bread, cookies, pie, cake, pasta, etc)... but I think it was because I was bored and feeling depressed and very stressed. Food was, at the time, the only thing that made me feel better for a few minutes. It is what addiction is all about -- anything that triggers endorphins in us we can become addicted to using. Now, I've taken some pretty drastic measures to address the stress. I quit my job (retired actually), but 10 years before the government thinks I should be retired. And I started getting very involved in all the things I wanted to do but did not have time to do (or the physical ability to do because of my weight). I'm painting almost every day. I volunteer several 1/2 days a week at a local historical site. I'm gardening again. I do things with my husband. I go swimming in our pool. I go for walks when it's not too buggy out (I can stand walking in cold and heat, but I HATE the bugs). I read books that had previously just been stacking up or backing up on my kindle. I go to the library a couple of days a week. I'm taking on-line classes (why I go to the library as my home internet doesn't allow for video watching). I'm cooking healthy food. I get in the car and just go visit places I've been wanting to visit: museums, historic sites,... my food addictions kept me from enjoying those places before because I hurt so bad I could not walk easily.

Sometimes I do crave something in particular like tortillas. Why that, I don't know; but so far I have just told myself that I can have one later when my NUT allows carbs again. And a couple of times when the item was right in front of me (like a French fry that my husband made), I might have one bite of one and realize it just doesn't live up to my brain's expectations and I can just eat my own food.

As for depression. So far I've had two instances when I felt very depressed: One was when I was still in the hospital and facing a third surgery and fearful that I was actually going to die because of my decision to have this surgery. Understandable. The second was during a solid two weeks of rainy weather last month. The second week was pretty bad. I knew logically that the sun would come out eventually and I could get outside again and garden and paint and walk... but I was really mopey and weepy. I did call my surgeon about halfway through that week and she advised I was far enough along to swallow pills again and if I wanted to back on anti-depressants it would be safe. She told me to tell the psychiatrist that I had undergone RNY because of the mal-absortion issue in case the dosage needed to be adjusted. But the weather man was promising the end of nasty weather in about three days, so I waited and sure enough a solid day outside in the sun did the trick.

I'm hoping this summer to get out in my canoe. I've not been able to use it in decades, but refused to get rid of it. And this winter I might try downhill skiing again (on the bunny hop).

Wow Cate - thank you so much for your time and all that information. This helps me to stay realistic in my expectations and some great ideas for coping with cravings post surgery. I am worried about depression but you have helped me to reconsider how I might go about warding that off. You sound like you are having a really colourful life. It's true that the addictions take us away from other healthier things. I hope I too can get on top of it all. If I fight my food demons re addiction - I wonder if I will still need the surgery? The food addiction is the hardest hurdle by far. Anyway, thanks so much again for enlightening me. I really appreciate your time. Have a great time skiing and canoeing!!