Body image

I also suggest a therapist.  

I hate my saggy boobs and extra skin.  But you know what I hate even more?  Spilling over in to the next airplane seat or breathing heavy from one flight of stairs, or shopping at specialty stores.  I'll take the lesser of two evils.  Get some good shapewear and a padded bra.  It's all smoke and mirrors now.   

I would also like to kindly suggest establishing a relationship with a therapist before your surgery.  Not because I think there's something seriously wrong with you, but because having that support system in place to help deal with the mental changes and perceptions of yourself, can only add to your likelihood of success.

I know that it has been a tremendous help for me. 

Yes I want plastics now too.  The extra skin just stares at me in the mirror and it's all I see now.  I would love to get naked and see someone beautiful.  Not someone that needs shapeware and underwire bras

I think you coming here was a really good thing. It is hard to share how we are feeling sometimes. 

Learning to love yourself is a hard thing. It is a must. 

I can partially sympathize with this, although my body image issues didn't start until I had lost over 100 lbs. Mentally, I think I just blocked any perception of my own body when I was 300 lbs, and I imagine if I had started to pay attention pre-op like you have, I would have felt the same way. Now I just have this dysphoric sense of discomfort in my own skin, like I'm living in someone else's body. The bat wings, saggy tummy, and thigh rolls are strangely tolerable, but the "normal" things like tendons and collarbones creep the hell out of me because I've never seen them before.

Keep your spirits up.  my surgery is in nine days, start my liquid preop in one day.  I can tell you right this moment, I hate everything, my anxiety is thru the roof.  I just posted about it last night, and judging by all the comments these feelings are absolutely common.  will continue to send best wishes to you.  We will compare notes after the 18th..  we will meet on the "losing bench".

I went through very similar feelings.  It felt like all of a sudden I had this giant magnifying glass on me and all my flaws... Flaws I spent my life trying to camouflage or just simply ignore are now needing to be recognized so I can justify (to myself) why I'm taking this giant step to have weight loss surgery. I was pretty hard on myself. 

My advice.. Be gentle with yourself.  I agree a therapist could help. For me, what you're going through was just part of the process. Focus on the good things.. Make small goals now and focus on them.. For me 9 months out things are shrinking and changing and it's not all pretty....I have to keep a healthy balance outside of my looks and body something like a new hobby or talent, master a new yoga pose anything..If I don't, It becomes easy for that giant magnifying glass to show up again and mess with my head. 

Melody:

Like someone else said, use this time as motivation to keep going. Even if you can lose 2 pounds before surgery that is a fantastic goal. Keep on going one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. 

I look in the mirror and swear that is someone else staring back at me. This couldn't be me. I have lost 120 pounds since surgery and have tons of loose skin, saggy boobs, and my rash is still there ( from the loose skin hanging) Yes I feel so much better health wise. When I see old pics of me I just want to cry and wonder how I let myself get like this. I can't believe it. 

Good Luck, This is the best choice you will do in life. So proud of you