Breaking the News Today

I told my family before I had the surgery months before. They were all very supportive.

I was really concerned about telling one of friends because he is a personal trainer. I ended up telling him before my surgery, and he was very nice about it. I expected him to go on a rant about it, but all he said was "I don't know if you need it or not, but if you and your doc say you do then its the right decision."

Sometimes ppl can surprise you, and I ended up being very happy that I discussed it with him. I would definitely prepare yourself to shut them down if they go on a tirade about how you shouldn't get it. Make sure you let them know that you are getting the surgery, and that you are just letting them know that this is the decision you and your doctor have made is best for you and you would love to have their support through the journey.

I think you posted yesterday about looking at a different hospital and surgeon and wanting your doctor to give you a recommendation.  This meeting seems like a lot of drama when you have not had a consult yet.

Your health decisions are none of their business.

Frankly, the pastor's wife has too much in the way of conflict of interest with her sales of supplements, etc.

Do what is right for you.  Leave them out of it.            

I'm really late to this party...but if I would have seen this earlier I would have absolutely warned you to NOT to this!  Why do you think your friends - or even extended family - need to know what you're doing?  

They need you to love them, support them and accept them for who they are...but they absolutely don't "need" to know your personal medical information.  It doesn't enrich their lives one tiny little bit or improve their feelings about themselves to know this information. 

So the real question is this:  why do YOU need them to know this information?  What are you hoping to get out of it?? 

I guess I should explain here that I live alone and my blood relatives barely speak to me (their choice, their loss) ever since the death of my mother 4 years ago. I have no one in my life, except for my church family, for support. They truly are more like family to me than my blood family. Since I'd need people to drive me (I don't drive & have no car) to and from appointments and to kind of look in on me when I get home from the surgery and since my pastor and his wife are my Durable Powers of Attorney, I thought they needed to know. I also would like to have the prayers and support of my loving church congregation as I am on this journey to lose weight. I wouldn't have any reservations about telling my pastor and his wife that I hope to have weight loss surgery except my pastor's wife has been trying to help me lose weight here lately by exercising with me and by selling me the weight loss supplements from a company called ItWorks. My concern, whether rational or irrational, was that my pastor's wife would be upset with me because I would no longer be using the supplements from her company. This is why I was having so much anxiety about telling my pastor and his wife.

I don't understand why she needs to know, given how much you seem to fear her reaction.  Remember, only 3-5% of people keep the weight off without surgery, so you may not be one of the lucky few who can keep it off (I am not, either.)   Is it difficult to tell your diet-product pusher that you finally wised up, recognized that you are not one of the 3-5% who keep it off, and you evaluated your options and are going ahead with surgery?  I think you can do it.  You may be the one pissed off, if she wants you more as a customer than as a friend.   

Before my surgery, I also wanted my best friends to know. I told them through email.  In it, I pointed out that I had thought about it a lot, had pangs of guilt, but ultimately was thrilled with my decision and couldnt wait to get started living a happier life.  They wouldve had to be a Grade A jerk to offer anything but congrats as a response.  They were all supportive.