I wish I had a real clear cut answer. I tough with my wife for three weeks she told me it was stupid I was stupid the doctors were stupid. My wife gave me the silent treatment I made it clear I was going to have surgery no matter what. She finally opened up she talked it down because she fears I will die from surgery. I told her if I don't have surgery I surely will die. Maybe your friend is the same maybe she fears loosing her friend. There are very few I have or will tell. So many people feel this is an easy way out.. I HAVE NOT HAD sURGERY YET AND I feel like I have been thru a war. Your making the right choice give it a year you will wonder why you waited so long

Medical professionals don't understand WLS, never mind laypeople like our friends. The truth is that only you can make the right decision for yourself. Diet and exercise do not keep weight off for over 95% of morbidly obese people.  Only someone who knows nothing about obesity would tell you that.  Surgery is, very often, the only option that works for us long term.

Kill that negative inner voice.

Let me tell you MY experience.

It took me 3 attempts to get gastric bypass surgery over 7-10 years.

Twice I talked myself out of it after having conversations with people like your friend.

You know what happened? I got older, fatter, and more broke on diet and gym programs that did not work or did not work ENOUGH!  Seriously, my mom calculated I spent anywhere from 3-5K on diets and gym programs that did not work.

Keep with your original plan of action.

Dont be ME. Dont wake up 10 years later wishing that you had done it sooner!

Voice of Experience here,

Skinny Scientist

Someone posted this on a similar thread:  "I've made my decision; at this point what I need from you is your support or your silence."  Love this!

My best friend of 30 years had a similar reaction.  She said "Oh Friend you'll be a skinny B%$^$ and Ill hate you" I knew she was (semi) kidding so I tried to let it slide off my back. She shared her opinion on wls and those who failed after.  She immediately started working out, running (walking) every 5K, 10K she could find. Everything she ate, every workout she did, daily selfies  all were posted on Social Media (we live on opposite sides of the country).... She and I lost our first 40-45lbs together. For a brief moment I started to question my decision to have this surgery.. if she could do it on her own why couldn't I? Was I weaker? Did I take the easy road?... fast forward just a few months later, She has regained most if not all her weight and I'm down almost 80lbs and still going. My heart aches for her. Ive been in her shoes more times than I can remember..Ive played the yo-yo game my entire life.. Ive been blessed with this tool and this amazing team of doctors, nutritionists, and support groups...truth is,  I don't feel weak, I feel strong and healthy and proud of myself regardless of what anyone thinks. I made the best decision for ME and MY health and I leave it at that.... this is my personal journey and I proudly own it... Im just picky who I share it with.

I found out that only 3-5% of people who take the wt off can keep the wt off.  That fact changed my whole attitude about myself (a multiple diet failure) and about WLS.  in 2014, at 57 years old, I could accept that I was not one of the 'LUCKY FEW.'  I evaluated my options and had RNY surgery.

I hold the space that your friend will (magically??)  become one of the 'lucky few' or decide to look into WLS as an option.

Keep praying for her and keep doing what you're doing.  You seem to be doing wonderfully.

Kimberly W.

It sounds as though you have your mojo back!  Few people, even PCPs really understand the weight issues, so your friends is just one of them, but does not have the sense to keep her mouth shut.

 Over the years, for WLS with a surgeon who does alot of them, the risks are similar to gall bladder surgery.  Not zero, but much lower than 10-15 years ago. I took the risk seriously and updated my will, insurance beneficiaries, etc.  (I was 57, so that was a good idea anyway.)  For me, I knew I would be looking at knee surgery, so it was a choice between which surgery WLS or knee, and WLS is easier to recover from than knee surgery.  I took the surgery seriously, I followed the doctor's guidelines, ask questions,  I attend the support group meetings, etc.  I am 11 month (tomorrow) post-op.  I am down 108 pounds from date of surgery and down 134 from my highest.   Best thing I did, but be smart, do your research, make sure you are comfortable with your surgeon, and the hospital(the weakest link for me). My knees bother me less now.  

I've attached an article: For 'healthy' people, the risk of dying is .2%.  People with medical complications going into surgery, have higher mortality rates.  You might want to address any of the risk factors with your surgeon.

This data is from 2008, you might find newer data if you look.

http://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/0115/p220.html

Here I am walking down the Grand Canyon in August 2015, down ~100 pounds, and NOT LOOKING BACK!!!

Best wishes going forward.