I Should've Kept My Mouth Shut

You are right some just want to make you feel bad. Someone who has never been real heavy don't understand the problems the embarrassment  of being overweight and how hurtful the comments from the perfect people people of normal weigh. Their words their attitudes hurt like a knife

Kimberly,

Most people will not say it to you, but at least 99% of them think exactly like your friend.  I do not make it my life mission to educate them or try to change their mind. 

Obesity is a disease.  It is not something that will be overcome with proper diet and exercise.  It is not even something that will be overcome with surgery.  After the surgery you still have to eat less calories than you burn and you have to do that for the rest of your life.  If you go back to eating excess calories than the weight will come back.

Very few people who need weight loss surgery will ever actually get it.  Finances, lack of support, fear, and misinformation will stop most people from taking that life-changing step.  Weight loss surgery will give you an opportunity to get on a level playing field with people who can control their weight with diet and exercise.

I don't even try to explain this.  I just acknowledge that I took the "easy way out" and that was the only way that worked for me.  I don't tell them how hard it is.  I don't complain about dumping, bowel problems, hypoglycemic episodes or saggy skin.  Most people think I just was too lazy to diet and exercise and I have decided I don't care what they think.

Although I don't read too many reply's to other persons, I am glad I took the time to read your response. This is a though filled comment, from someone whose found that wisdom that I am beginning to understand that comes with age, experience and temperance.

I am really new to this. I'm down 81 pounds in 80 days since my RNY. It's not really that hard anymore. My main exercise is walking and I work.

Thanks again. I love finding smart people who are willing to share wisdom.

^^^ What White Dove said.

People who haven't walked in our shoes have no idea what it's like to be MO or SMO.  We're lazy.  We have no self-control.  Lots of opinions and scorn because fat people are easy targets.

There's no point in trying to convince anyone that you're making the right decision.  Your body, your decision.  And for most of us, it was the last choice we had because our physical problems were becoming overwhelming.

I actually do know someone who died from WLS about 20 years ago.  He developed sepsis, and died from the infection.  It happens.  It also happens to people who have their appendix removed, or their gall bladder.  Surgery has inherent risks and it's not limited to WLS.

Maybe it's just my personality, but I didn't have anyone tell me that I was making the wrong decision.  Probably because they know I would verbally humiliate them for expressing an opinion that was none of their business.  My husband expressed concern from the "surgery is dangerous" aspect.  I can appreciate the concern of a significant other, but he also realized that I did the research and made the decision that I felt was right for me.

So ignore the naysayers and cut the conversation off quickly if it goes into enemy territory.  Not.  Their.  Business.

I think most people who caution us have our best interests at heart, at least the ones who did with me.  They just have fear and misinformation.  

I've had a few of those also in the past 6 months waiting to qualify for insurance. Most of those people will say and have, oh you look good, you aren't too fat, meantime I am 275 pounds! There have only been two people that have said things like that, a neighbor and my mom. They were both super quick to bring up all the people they know that have regained a lot back. i have to not take their opinions to heart.

The main thing is, keep this to yourself and only tell a few people. My close neighbors know, a few friends, husband, mom/dad, and sisters. That is it, and of course my boss. I felt comfortable enough telling her why i was going to be on medical leave and she is completely supportive.

Also important to not talk about food or how much you have lost all the time after or expect validation from people. This journey is your own. It is important to have a great support on these boards and your support person.

Stay strong and realize you are dong this for your future.

If something were to go wrong Post Op People need to know your insides are different ,so you can get the proper care. One mistake is all it takes to end up in the wrong place. Only speaking of an experience I went through just after my open heart surgery, No one was told I was allergic to Morphine. Just out of Open Heart surgery I was administered Morphine which put me in Respitory Failure. Not Fun.I am very lucky to be alive today. Be very mindful of your decision. I say bad things always happen to people who make fast decisions. I have always regretted having Wls , whats done is done . I have learned from it big time.I would have tried harder to lose even 50 lbs pre op. I have lost 100 lbs. 20 lbs short of goal. I have maintained my weight loss but just regretted doing it because I don't like my insides rearranged. Again, whats done is done.Life is not the same Post OP. In my opinion it actually gets harder even though we lose weight.there's Hernias that occur, which I am going to have another surgery soon to repair that .Gall bladder removal Post Op. eat too much sugar your feet and fingers cramp and cant walk or move them at all. Don't drink enough water and you have bad headaches. Not trying to be mean just giving my story. I wish You the Best decision for yourself. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving...God Bless.

"Thanks" followed by a change in subject.  So.. "Thanks, how about Walking Dead last week, can you believe what happened to Rick?!"  

Then do this EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  Never give in to conversation on this topic, just change the subject.  

Eventually people will realize it's not a topic that's up for discussion or debate.  

Hard lesson learned:  unless you want to hear a bunch of dumbass opinions that aren't grounded in medical/scientific fact, keep your decision about WLS to yourself.  Your personal health decisions are nobody else's business but yours.  

Ah sweetie...so you put more faith her her than you do your doctor? Im going to guess that's a no. If your doctor felt the surgery wasnt suited for you they would tell you so. We have all heard the "My cousin's friend's sister's brother in law twice removed died from that surgery!" When they tell me that, I say "That's unfortunate to hear. Every surgery has risks". And that's the truth. People have died getting their tonsils removed, but its still a surgery that's regularly preformed. What I know is that I would do it again..tomorrow if necessary! When I started out before the surgery I weighed 348lbs. I had no quality of life, no personal life, no energy, no goals. I was diabetic, my blood pressure was creeping up and I seemed to be sick all the time. Since my surgery I have list 61lbs (since August 26th). I have had no negative side effects (other than intolerance to bread now..which really is probably a good thing). POSITIVE side effects I have had many! 1 week after surgery my diabetic meds were discontinued! My knee pain is only about 1/3rd what it used to be. I have lost 4 pants sizes. I go to the gym every morning. I have lots of energy and a better attitude! Surgery is scary..you're not silly to be scared. I was terrified. But, what scared me more was having a heart attack by the time I was 40, losing a foot to diabetes or becoming one of those people on my 600lb life. If my weight was going to take me down, it was going to take me down with me FIGHTING! Good luck to you hun