Friends, coworkers and family don't approve of my plan for WLS

Totally agree, but for people who are trying to be supportive, but really don't know how, I tell them it was either WLS or knee surgery and it's easier to recover from WLS. And the I invite them to an exercise class - that is usually the end of the conversation.

If they're not going to be supportive of your bodily autonomy, then yes, stop talking with them about it. Your body, your choice.

Yeah, STOP talking if you want people to mind their business! Everyone need not know unless you want them to. . .to become involved in your daily eating, weight loss/gain, body, post-op WL rules, your life!

People will voice many opinions especially if you invite them in to do so in the first place. Do you want that? Weight loss and weight loss maintenance is still difficult after weight loss surgery especially the further post-op you are out. Really, do you want a monitor? It sounds like you have a huge support group in your husband and friends who have had the surgeries. You can get 1 on 1 therapy, support groups etc. to assist you through this process.

And again you can let everyone in on what you are doing but EXPECT opinions that do not agree nor benefit you.

All Best

Now you see why many of us choose to keep our personal medical decisions personal. Your decision to have WLS is NOT a group decision and you need to set some boundaries with these people right now.

Tell them, "Thank you for your concern but I am making this decision according to my doctor's advice and no one else's". If they continue say, "This isn't a topic I'm going to discuss with you anymore - so drop it".

I feel that you should continue to share your journey. I feel most people out there aren't as informed as we get about WLS. I share everything with my co-workers. I still get some that don't agree with what I did, but I really don't care. I did this for me, not them. It actually is working out better for me with all those negative people, makes me stay more focused on my eating.

Hi Vicki,

I'm so glad you posted this since I am running into the same issue. I wanted to get in front of the situation, so to speak, by telling some people at work. I found that there are plenty of people with plenty of comments. Some are worried for me because of some scary stories they heard about. Some say that I don't have the discipline, etc.

I was fortunate because there is a woman where I work who befriended me and warned me that this would happen, and to be prepared. She had surgery 4 years ago. It can still be difficult to hear these negative things, but I need to remember that this surgery is about ME and for ME, period.

I want to surround myself with people who are supportive and positive. I love coming back to this site and gathering helpful and inspirational guidance.

Good luck to you!

Just do not engage in any conversation regarding the surgery. Change the subject and do not seeks other's opinion.

suzanne R.

You are so right about not asking for or inviting their opinion. That is between you and your doctor, and perhaps anyone else you need on your support team. If you need an additional opinion before making a decision for WLS, get information from people who know facts, not the gang at the water cooler.

The topic just riles me up! The fact that people feel like they can chime in about another person's medical decisions - weight-related or not - ****** me off

Honestly, would you allow people to tell you, "Oh come on, you don't need that hysterectomy. Just tough it out." Arrrrgggh....

I was very open about my surgery and discussed it with many people, including my boss, peers and staff at work and my friends and family. I felt more of a need to do that because I am a breast cancer survivor, and I knew if they saw me suddenly loosing a lot of weight, they would be fearful that the cancer had returned. Only a couple of people questioned my decision, but I knew it was out of love and concern for me so I took in comments in the spirit that they were intended. There is so much misinformation out there about Bariatric surgery, and they were responding based on what they thought to be true about the risks. I told them that it wasn't a decision I made lightly, but rather made in partnership with my physician after looking at all of my options. We decided that surgery was my best chance to loose all of my excess weight, and to keep it off over the long term, and necessary for my health. That brought them around, or at least stopped them from voicing their doubts. Since the surgery, everyone is on board!

You have to make the decision that is best for you, but try to cut your friends, coworkers and family some slack. I bet they love you and are concerned for your safety, and have heard all of the horror stories.