Pounds are slowly trickling on - friends and family are saying that I look healthier this way.....

I don't agree.

After my RNY surgery in Feb. 2012 the weight flew off!  I was at goal (or what I thought was goal) in 9 months.

I went from 258 to 150 in under 1 year!  The weight continued fall off to where I was down to a very slim 125 lbs.

Granted, it was a little scary for a while because it seemed that I couldn't stop losing.  But it did stop and I maintained this weight for a couple of years (give or take a couple of pounds).  

Over the past 6 months - there has been a change.  My appetite is insatiable - I don't know why???  The weight is sneaking it's way back onto my body and I feel like I'm out of control.

Friends that I try to talk to about this claim that I look better with a some meat on my bones - but I'm worried that this is going to spiral out of hand.  

Perhaps I need to go back to basics - eat like I'm post op for a couple of weeks to see if I have the control that I once showed.

N

All I can say is that you know what weight that you need to be at and what is healthiest for you. We also know that we have eating disorders and that is why we got to be where we were. I weighed 350 lbs. I am now down to 247 lbs and my friends and family says I look good, that I don't need to lose more weight? But I know I am still obese. I know I still need to lose more weight-at least 40 lbs which will still leave me overweight at 210 lbs according to the BMI chart. But I am ok with that as long as it is muscle and I am healthy, but I will still continue to try to get to my goal of 190lbs.

What I'm saying is that we cannot really go by what our freinds and family say. You know how it starts-a lbs here, a lb there and before you know it, it gradually comes back on!  We are NEVER out of maintenance so stop the bleeeding now. Our stomachs were worked on not our minds. The tool helps but our biggest and most effective tool is our mindset. We've been there, we've done that! Good health is not a destination, it's a ever continuing journey.

All I can say is "work the program!"  Stay focused-eat properly, exercise, sleep, manage stress, enjoy your family. Do all the things you did to get to where you were comfortable for YOU, not for others. Rely on the suggestions and advice of those who have been there, those on these forums. Family and friends mean well but many of them have never had to deal with what we are going through. Don't for a minute think you are cured and normal so to speak. We aren't-that sleeping food addict is always ready to wake up once we relax and let down our guard. Our insatiable appetite comes back when we slip and slide. We find that we can eat this and that, a little more here and there-and at first no weight comes on. See that's the deception, that's our problem. Food has always been our drug of choice. And we are-regardless of how much we weigh now-food addicts!

Work the program, make good food choices every day, every meal, be a selective eater not an automatic one. You did the right thing coming to this forum, it means you want to succeed. Smart choice - you're going to be ok. Your post shows us the reality of what we are dealing with so thanks. You know what you need to do. So just do it. We're in this together-I wish you well! 

A million thanks for your message Willie.  Your 100% on target - food is my drug of choice.  I have the tools - I will use them - especially now while the problem is manageable.  

N

I just wanted to add that this is a great post, Willie.  I'm going to come back to it when I'm having trouble.  Thank you!  

Wordsmith,

-LB

At 3 years out many people start to gain. We can eat more, our malabsorption is gone, and we think we are "normal". Stop listening to the people who say you are too thin. This is dangerous. Figure out how to get it back in control or you do risk gaining most of your weight back. At 7 years out, many people I know who had surgery the same time as me have had big regains. You are in charge of how much you eat.

Congratulations on reaching a goal and beyond. 

As for gaining weight - it can be slippery road. 

Depends on your age, body build, fat distribution, etc etc... There is, IMO, things like being too thin. I got there...I was all wrinkly, and weak..and depressed, and as much as I enjoyed size 4 (that were loose) I did not feel good. 

Now I wear size 6- 8.. (currently more 8 than 6) and I am up app 25 lbs from were I was at my lowest weight.. I would like to lose 5-10 lbs... But where my body is now - it is strong, and just right for me. And relatively easy to maintain. With very little exercise. I gained weight in right places - like my boobs...and wrong places - like my thighs.. But at my age - 55- that looks OK on me... (except the thighs)

When I watch people - you see some older, supper skinny people and they don't look as good or happy as some of "robust" -average looking people..

If you happy at 150 - stay there - just don't put on more than that... Now it is time to really work on maintnace... If not - get to place that YOU like yourself. 

When 150 may be very good for you - 160 or 170 - will be way too much. At the end - it is your body to live in. Do it right. 

Hugs..

I agree. Good realistic post. Some just don't look very healthy being "too skinny". They look aged and stressed. I'm 56 and while at 23 years of age I may have  looked ok at 185 lbs, I'm sure if I ever got to that weight now at almost 60 all the wrinkles would show up. So while I will always have a goal to reach for it won't be just based merely on weight but on health and feeling of well being! We, our body knows our optimum size and weight as we get older, or should I say as we get "better?"

YOU do what you know is right for YOU!  I got down to 115 pounds and found I was meant to be small.  I felt so GREAT and it was a great weight for me.  Then, I started listening to family and friends that I was too skinny, I looked sick, put some weight on.  Listening to them lead to me putting weight on and while 125 - 130 is not bad, it was not my comfy weight.

YOU KNOW BEST!

Carbs? If you are having a lot of carbs?............... then CRAZY CRAVING will come with them. They sit better in our tummies. Our bodies absorb them better, and they taste really good...............back on track with high protein low carb. Back on track. When you try, and you screw up................try again..............then again, and again. Never give up just because you have a few failures. get up and get back on that horse!!