Here's your B*TCHFest. Let's do this!

That makes a lot of sense. 

Good plan - you have a lot on your plate right now.  Some of those other things may get less attention.  Are you in goood study groups?? (I went to law school at 42.) Good luck, hang in there.

Thank you for the encouragement!  As you well know,  it is quite a challenge,  but I've yet to meet one I couldn't conquer! Do you practice?

I have several peers that I can email or call for clarification when needed,  but i have  found that the study groups don't make the best use of their time together and often get off-topic or spend a lot of time on things I already understand,  sometimes confusing me further! With my schedule,  it has been easier to go it alone and just reach out when I need to.  

I almost didn't get approved for my surgery because of it!  The psychologist and my surgeon both thought I had too much on my plate to be able to spend the time necessary on my diet.  I convinced them that I am far more dedicated to my health than anything else in my life,  and they signed off on it.  

Bette, I have missed you and this thread so much.

I am ******g sick of ungrateful people. 

Twice in the last few weeks people have posted hard luck stories on Facebook groups I belong to. 

The first had a picture of an adorable little girl whose birthday was coming up and just wanted lots of birthday cards in the mail.

And then they mention a fire and being displaced in a one bedroom apartment and losing everything they own and the child just would love a play tent, sleeping bag and pillow so she can pretend she has her own room.

And then they mention she loves the movie Frozen and especially the character Olaf.

It brought out the grandma in me so I bought a card, threw a few fives in there and put it in the mail but I couldn't stop thinking about her so I messaged the mother and asked for the girls sizes.

I went out and splurged on Olaf pajamas, frozen clothes and a Frozen sleeping bag and pillow.

I messaged mom and she said she would come get them, which she did.  She had the whole family with her, including the little girl so I got to hug her.

They took the stuff and they were very nice and happy and said thanks.  And then nothing.  Not a mention when the card came (I hadn't told them about that), not a message thanking me again.

Was that expecting too much?  I would have liked to hear from them about how her birthday went, if she liked her card and what she did with the money, anything to acknowledge my gift.

Then there was another post from a woman asking for clothes.  Again another hard luck story.  She said she just had the clothes on her back.  So I messaged her because she posted her size and that is the same size I wear and I usually give the clothes I don't wear to Goodwill but I offered to go through my things and put together some stuff.

I had done this recently so I didn't have a lot of clothes but I gave her some things I still wore and a lot of shoes including a brand new pair of boots, still with tags, since she wore the same size shoes as me.

She messages me and asks if we can meet the next day so I rearrange my schedule so I can meet her and she never responds.

A few days later she asked if I had the clothes and if I could meet.  No apologizes for blowing me off.  I did the same, cleared my schedule to meet her and again she doesn't respond.

Then she gets in touch again and says she really needs the clothes and gives me an address to drop them off.  I was working and it was pretty much on my way home, if I took a little detour so I told her I would drop them off after work.

I messaged her when I left work and guess what?  No response.  I had things to do so I just told her that I was taking them to Goodwill.

A few hours later I get a message from someone saying it was her sister in law and she was working and that is why she didn't respond and wanted to know if I could deliver the clothes.  

I told her no, I just got off work and I wasn't going anywhere.

The next day another message asking if I could drop the clothes off.  Since I was working that day I offered to drop them off on my way to work.  I know, I am a fool.

I told her that if I didn't get a response when I was on my way I was taking them to Goodwill.

So she actually responds and I asked that she meet me in front because I didn't have time to bring them in.  I get there and no one is there so I was about to leave when she messaged me and said her brother was on his way down.

He and another guy showed up and grabbed the stuff without barely a word.

So I message her telling her that I hoped she liked the things and if there were things she didn't want to pass them on.  Not one word of thanks, nothing.

That was Monday and I am tempted to text her "You're Welcome" but I won't bother.  No good deed goes...

And speaking of ungrateful people, my daughter is finally moving her entitled ass out next month.  I will finally have an empty next, although I fear it won't be for long.

She is moving across the country to stay with a friend who says she has a job waiting for her.

She stayed with her a week in June and really likes the state and wants to live there.

Although I hate to have to so far away I am so ready to not have her here.  The second she is out I am clearing out that room and turning it into an office/spare room for the grandkids.

She has been informed that if things don't work out she can sleep on the couch for a few days but in no way will she have her own room again unless she ponies up rent and utility money.

I have a feeling she is expecting the same arrangement with her friend as she has had with me.  She will be in for a surprise from her friends doesn't wash her clothes and puts up with her sloppiness.  Maybe she will get a wake up call and learn how to behave when she is in someone else's home.  God knows I have tried for 20 years to get her off her ass and to help out around here.

You would think at 20 years old she would figure out that if she wouldn't pay rent (always too broke) she could at least help with some chores but she never lifted a finger, drops her clothes on the bathroom floor and expects me to pick them u and wash them, which I do because I can't live with clothes on the floor.

I have been her ***** for 20 years and now I will finally be free!  Good luck to her friend, lol.

Are you saying you'll let your daughter back in ad she can sleep on the couch if things don't work out with her friend?!!?!  Change your locks - she's old enough to take care of herself.  You too generous...don't be an enabler!

I have another daughter that moved out and a year later moved back in for another year.  Sometimes they just aren't ready to fly yet.  

If that were to happen believe me things would be different.  There would be rent, chores and a move out date.  

The other option, which I am seriously considering is to move into a small studio apartment without leaving a forwarding address lol.

Right on. 

A friend told me a good rule:  Do not do things FOR people, or TO people, do things WITH people. So when they don;t do their part - you are entitled to move on to something else. 

You seem to get very invested and go overboard - if you expect a thank you, you are doing too much FOR others.

At the same time, people like you make the world go around.

 

You are entirely too nice!!  Just say no and don't get suckered into helping more ungrateful people. Donate to a woman's shelter where the stuff will be appreciated!

I have to say you are a very kind person to do this for these people. I am sure that little girl will remember what you did when she is older she will tell this story. Kids don't forget things like this. 

You also are a good person. People are raised and they have know clue of what they should do when something good happens to them. I also feel there are givers in this world and takers. You are a giver. 

One of my cats has had exceptionally stinky poop this week. As in, he hits the litterbox at 3am and the stink-bomb wakes me up. Thanks, Jonesy, you stripey sack of crap (who still manages to be snuggly in the morning).

My back is killing me, I feel like there's a steak knife wedged down there. Only 6 more weeks to go! Owwwwww, thanks a lot Little Dude.

Also, I hate IBM right now. I'm a data geek and generate reports, and we upgraded to a new version of their reporting software. Except yesterday, it randomly decided to not let me log in... even though EVERYBODY else in my department is fine. Which is dumb because I'm the manager and lead debugger, so now I can't work on important stuff **** technology.