Putting my big GRRL panties on

I'm five years post op and have put in effort ( pre and post op) during what seems like literally half my life to  recover  from 1) food addition  thru Overeaters Anonymous 

                         2) alcohol addiciton I fell into post op and post divorce through Acoholics Anonymous 

                         3) clutter ) ii went to  few meetings of Clutterers Anonymous read their literature and it literally changed the quality of my life ovenight 

                         4) financially abadoning/neglecting myself through Business Debtors Anonymous 

                         5) wasting my precious time  " fixing" and choosing selfish unloving people through Al-Anon ( Adult Children of Alcoholics ) 

                          6) recovering from sexual and physical abuse  through individual and targeted group  therapy 

I think I self-medicaed all of these emotionally painful issues since childhood with excess food . Because its such a COMPLICATED many sided recovery  getting the internal pressure to overeat down cam seem endless and daunting especially because we all have good days and bad days with the food and exercise ... our disease can lie to us and say recovery isn't helping .

All I need to remember NOW is 1) how big and unhealthy I was for so many years 

                                              2)) the daily pain and frustration of not being able to help myself stop overeating 

                                               3) where I was financially and with my personal goals a few years ago versus where I am now 

                                                4) I just need to look around me and at my bank account to see how much better I'm liiving now - my lifestyle supports my happiness whereas before it was so miserable the only comfort I had was excess food 

 

I'm about to do a " big ask"  This is not the first one I've done thank God or it would seem even more terrifying but I did win numerous tax appeals , my diivorce negotiations etc. So  know I can do it but I'm petrified.  STILL I keep plugging away an inch at a time making new healthier patterns .

I am not sticking my head in the sand anymore and wasting my days - I'm making  the most of them instead.  I'm showing up for myself  in so many ways, growing , succeeding .   Its no wonder my weight has " miraculously " stayed largely the same over five years and that I consider sports and  exercise a daily treat never a chore like it was so long pre-op .

The challenges never end .. when we achieve goals we want MORE .. but my coping skills and ability to handle pressure are so much better ...I LOVE my brave new post -op life 

You should be proud of your recoveries.  Those are major accomplishments.  I am very happy for you!

Thank You ! Yes I finally am SURE I'm on the right track .  I struggled ad doubted myself for so many years ! 

Hi Ava.  Are you still doing art? I  always loved when you shared your work.  You are extremely talented. I'd love to know what you are working on now.

Jen

Thank you Jen !  let me see if I can post something new ...