To share or not to share my decision for WLS

I was/ still a big mouth. I told anyone who would listen. When I wore them out I came here every day and found my biggest support. There used to be a chat room and I to this day am still friends I have never met but love and keep in contact with

I told most people I was in regular contact with. I kind of had a script in my head of what I was going to say. Most people were supportive, I wasn't really asking for their opinion. There was only one person who was vehemently against it and it caused a rift in our relationship. I kinda told her, "I wasn't asking your opinion"..... She is someone I see regularly, and we are OK -we talk, but it is not the same.

I'm kind of the opposite of most people on here, because was honest with everyone, and just told them I was having WLS surgery.  In fact, at our 40th reunion 3 weeks ago (11 days after surgery, when I was still on liquids), one of my old friends mentioned that I had lost weight.  We were in a room full of people and I just told him that I had had weight loss surgery.  Within a minute, everyone in the room knew about it and I was fine.  They were all so happy for me, and couldn't believe I was there such a short time after the surgery.  

I wear my heart on my sleeve and knew that I would never be able to keep this to myself.  Only one person questioned me about my decision, but she is now very supportive.  Only problem is, she just doesn't understand my diet now.  Sometimes I just have to remind her that "I can't have that" or, "That's not on my diet yet." 

I didn't share my decision or surgery date wtth anyone except one good friend who visited me in the hospital picked me up etc. My family would never have been supportive anyway and I didn't need the shaming or accusations .

I am so glad I never confided in them - frankly they were and remain unworthy of my trust .  Its noones bsiness anyway what i do with my body and health.

Although I am very open about my surgery, and have been since the day I had it, I told family and close friends and a number of coworkers before surgery (I was too excited not to!), but those were people that I knew would be supportive OR that I knew would at least accept my decision without arguing about it (like my boss at work, who wasn't really in a position to say anything about my personal medical chocies!). It is much easier to tell other people after it's already done and then you don't have to deal with any one who wants to try and talk you out of your decision.

I will say, though, that sometimes people respond based on how you bring up and present the information.  I was having open surgery so I was going to be off work 6 weeks and generally out of commission for a number of weeks, so that meant that I HAD to tell more people. With a couple of people I was a little unsure about, I just told them in a matter of fact way that made it clear that the decision was made an it wasn't up for debate.  No one questioned my decision to my face. (As a disclaimer, though, I had a BMI of 57 so I think it was pretty clear to everyone walking the planet that I NEEDED surgery!)

I would, however, encourage you to go ahead and tell your family and close friends as soon after surgery as possible and BEFORE they say something about your weight loss because it could be a while before anyone actually says anything, and some people -- especially your sisters -- may feel like you lied by omission.

Lora

It's a personal decision. You'll always get people who will or won't agree. I did tell anyone who asked and I did get some negative feed back from a couple good friends. But I did this surgery for me, not them. I work for 24 physicists and they all were and still am VERY supportive.

Oh, congratulations!! I remember being so nervous about telling people. My hubby and kids knew, and my close friends knew way before my surgery. 

Once I was approved by insurance, I told other people by announcing it on Facebook. I did not invite opinions. I did not ask how people felt. I said "I'm doing this. That is all." No one said anything negative about it..ever. Granted, I have a very small group of contacts-people I've only actually met and know in life-but everyone has been very positive. I'm lucky enough to be able to be a spoiled housewife, so dealing with coworkers wasn't a worry for me. The only negative Nelly was an on-line contact I know through a plus sized social network ( think Fluffy Facebook ) hubby and I frequented. Even the negative guy wasn't too terribly negative. 

I've always been very open bout it; probably a little too open at times-oh well. 

I don't mind if people ask me how much I've lost, or how long it took me. I think the more people that know that WLS can and does work-the better. I love educating people on the subject. 

 Plus, I'm an attention hag.  

Even now, I yap about it to people who probably don't care...haha. 

Everyone has to do what they feel is best for them; being open about it has worked fabulously for me. 

Somebody is going to be hurt and you will have to deal with that no matter how you try to spin this, so be prepared.  IMO - the truth is much easier to keep track of, and let the chips fall where they may.  

I talk about my surgery to anyone who will listen, and have ever since my first consult. I only ever once got a less than 100% supportive response from a friend, and I couldn't care less. When it comes down to it, it's your decision. But keep in mind that it helps tremendously to have as many cheerleaders as possible. Having nobody to tall to about your surgery can be very lonely and self sabotaging. 

This is a personal decision and depends on your family and friends.  In the beginning I didn't want anyone to know.  I was so prepared but still dreaded failing as I had done my entire life.  After losing weight and doing well you couldn't stop me from shouting it from the roof tops  

Keep us updated