too skinny?

thank you i will check out the LW board.

When i used the term HAG I was speaking to boudiceatx  (hope i spelled it right) I get everyone else can read it but it was to her for her. I was defending the only person who gave me an answer worth MY while.  I never called you a hag because you never said anything negative to her. But I guess in your mind you are guilty by association.

Sorry but i feel as though everyone adding this in theyre screenname is oversensitive and a bit immature and are obviously bored. I was called many things too. I def feel you all are friends and ganged up against me. I was outnumbered and as a gemini we dont back down. I meant everything I said I dont take it back it was erased because it made me look questionable to new readers or unbiased readers who possibly could contribute to my concern. Even you were mean to and made me feel as though my questions were dumb. Im not holding a grudge I just blocked everyone whose advice is worthless to me and hopefully meet some great people.

thank you for kinda sharing and attempting to be nice it is greatly apperciated

NAMECALLING???  Wow, what's wrong with you?

That last comment was directed to Tina, not Ashley.

Of corse your surgeon wouldn't have done it if he didn't think it was the right thing to do. 

Ignore these hags! You did what you had to do the same way I'm going to do what I have to do for me 

it is unfair for them to expect someone to get to that extreme of unhealthy to intervene. I know they regret waiting that long and are taking that anger out on us 

once upon a time they were 3 weeks postop shame on them

MY blog was intended for positive vibes and people like you who can relate 

love your intentions vibes and story thank you so much for sharing 

Look, I came late to this party, and you've deleted a LOT of your posts so I'm missing a good bit of the story. 

I agree that's it smart to get WLS while you're still relatively healthy. I wish I had. And I don't think anyone here's telling you to wait until you're UNhealthy to have surgery. I think what they ARE telling you is that you don't appear to be psychologically in the best place for surgery right now. You don't seem to have a good grasp of how this will change your life FOREVER, of how important it is to make a commitment to changing the way you eat FOREVER, that it's quite possible to fail to lose enough weight if you start out riding the brakes, how common regain really is.

As I say, I've missed a lot of what you've said, but just going by what you haven't deleted, I think if you get WLS thinking it's a cosmetic procedure that five years from now you'll weight more than you do today. You may also find yourself with a lot of health problems from getting a medical intervention and treating it like cosmetic surgery. No matter which form of WLS you choose, it's going to change the way you MUST take care of your health.

If I'm wrong, explain to me why.

Thank you for being so civil and proper. I truly apperciate your maturity and reasonable doubt.

I have deleted my posts because I was accussed of offending people. Im or I think/hope I am o be considered hiliarious. I am told tht I light up a room. Everyone laughs and we joke. I feel my error was over text. You cant see my expression or my tone my body language and what i wrote suposedly hurt people when my intention was to have a laugh so yes I deleted them. Some were purely self defense. Clearly most were oversensitive.

I understand the concern for my mental state and not understanding the severity of what I am about to do to my body . However based on my very first post did you gather concern ? I dont think I displayed any red flags in my original post . Im sorry but I felt I had a legit question. I felt bombarded with negative feedback. I  felt as maybe I shouldve lied and pretended I already had the surgery and was scared to lose too much. I never once said its cosmetic for me I meant to describe other journeys 18yr old healthy girls average height doing it for 50lbs and looking great

then my friends looking sick starting out at a lower BMI like me. Im not concerned about losing because Im going to treat this as a tool and a second chance and I will lose I just hope I dont lose it all and that I can have some sort of control.

Like you said correct me if you think im wrong

thanks in advance

Yes, when I came into this 'cold', I did have some concerns just from reading your very first post in this thread. Here's why:

"I know 100% with all my heart and soul I need this surgery. However I have MANY friends and co-workers whom have done it. The results scare me. All are at least 1yr postop and they range from : no noticable weightloss to extreme starvation looking."

Okay, so far so good. Being a little scared is a good thing.

"I personally have a low BMI. (If i lose weight prior to insurance approval I may have to self pay)

So I know there will be weightloss Im not worried about that. Im worried about extreme weightloss where I look near/death like. My good friends (twins) look horrible! They look sick. They dont agree with me or plan on intending to regain any weight."

Here's where I started feeling a little uneasy. You say you have such a low BMI that you may have to self-pay, but you want to do it even though you think your friends look horrible.  And---you're convinced THEY should deliberately regain some weight, even thought they feel they look okay and are healthy at their present weight. This hints at body dysmorphia, not just in yourself, but in your perceptions of others. Could it really be that you're just not accustomed to seeing your friends at a normal weight? And that the thought of yourself at a normal BMI seems 'near death' in your mind's eye?

"I guess my question is if I get that skinny will I be able to regain for sure?

Maybe because Im starting with a low BMI and im not a diabetic is it ok to not do EVERYTHING sugarfree? Maybe I can do healthy carbs like fruit, baked potatoe,sweet poatato, whole wheat?"

And now, I'm thinking "What's she's really looking for is a quick fix, one that won't require her to change her eating habits forever." I'm also thinking "I'm not really so sure she understands healthy eating, either."

"My husband is attracted to plump woman. So I def dont want to lose ALL my curves but be fit and healthy."

Nothing wrong with wanting to remain attractive to your husband, either. On its face, this wouldn't have fazed me---except I've been on messageboards like this for a dozen years now, and I see a LOT of women who make these kinds of statements who fail to make the necessary lifestyle changes and regain more than they lost. Certainly not ALL of them, and I personally don't think 'success' has to be defined as losing 100% of your excess weight. The ASMBA agrees with me---they define success as MAINTAINING a loss of 50% of your excess weight. But I hate to see anyone go into MAJOR surgery not WANTING to achieve a normal BMI.

Farther on in this thread you have made other statements that have reinforced these thoughts, but as I said earlier, I'm not seeing the whole story. We all react to having our feelings hurt, and I'm sure some of your statements are simply backlash---but I have no way to judge that.

"I guess my question is if I get that skinny will I be able to regain for sure?

Maybe because Im starting with a low BMI and im not a diabetic is it ok to not do EVERYTHING sugarfree? Maybe I can do healthy carbs like fruit, baked potatoe,sweet poatato, whole wheat?"

And now, I'm thinking "What's she's really looking for is a quick fix, one that won't require her to change her eating habits forever." I'm also thinking "I'm not really so sure she understands healthy eating, either."

lets start there: My nutrionist feels as though i 100% understand healthy eating sweet potatoe and fruits veggies are healthy carbs. she wants me to do a balanced plan always eating the protein first carbs last. she also said once my weight is stable i can come off sugar free.

I understand body dysmorphia I wish I suffered from it but however my plus size clothes prove me that its not in my head Im fat and there size 0 pants that fit them too loose prove they are too skinny. I guess I described the situation instead of keeping it simple and that raised concerns. Its hard for someone to understand when they are not witnessing what Im witnessing.

Yes !! too me this will be a quick fix Ive been on a diet my whole life with no real result and 2 years out of my 25years of dieting some sort of result  sounds pretty quick too me. Its a tool a push that I need in the right direction. I rather be too skinny than too fat but I hope to achieve average.

Well, the odds are against you getting too skinny and staying that way for long. (*grin*) Seriously, the average WLS patient never loses 100% of her excess weight, and a very high per centage experience some bounce-back, usually around 10% of what they've lost.

You don't ever have to go completely sugar free. It's almost impossible---all fruits and some veggies contain sugar, as does milk. Dairy products vary in how much lactose they contain, as it gets broken down in the cheese-making process. (In the yogurt-making process too, I think.) Some people don't tolerate artificial sweeteners well, either. I don't buy anything made with artificial sweeteners, and the only place I don't use regular sugar is in my iced tea. I use Splenda for that, and I drink about a gallon of it a day.

WLS is a quick fix in the sense that it certainly helps take the weight off quickly. However, it will also be a temporary fix unless you commit to changing the way you eat forever. Most of the people who are successful long-term eat a high-protein, low-carb 'diet' for the rest of their lives. And by low-carb, I mean fewer than 100 grams a day, some even restrict themselves to fewer than 50 a day. This means not eating much fruit or high-sugar veggies (like peas and carrots, for instance.)

 I do not begrudge anyone who needs this surgery done, not in the least. There are many people here who had surgery as lightweights. It's awesome that they, and you, were able to get the surgery done earlier rather than later. More power to you all, honestly! I sincerely hope for all the best for you. If she needs the surgery then great, but she seems very flippant about the whole thing. 

My issues with the OP are 1) her attitude toward some VERY smart post-ops who gave her excellent advice. 2) her assumption that none of us know a thing about depression. Most of us have been there, done that...through varying degrees of personal tragedies. 3) Her justification that in other parts of the world WLS is perceived as a cosmetic procedure, so it's okay for people who don't need it to have it.  That's the exact opposite of why WLS is performed. It isn't lipo...it's not something you go get when you are having an "I feel fat" day. You know firsthand how serious this surgery is...it's hard work!! 

Sincerely,

WLS Hag # 4 

Thank you.  You're right it is hard work. I'm new to all this, and I know I have a lot to learn. 

I feel empathy for everyone who struggles with their weight.  I figure anyone who is considering having the  majority of their stomach removed feels pretty discouraged and desperate.  I think we all share that in common.