Mixed emotions by the hour.

So, one hour I am so exited and can't wait for surgery to be over so I can start this journey, next I am scared to death about complications. Then I think I have lost 25 pounds on my own, can't I loose another 80 on my own? Then I talk to my best friend. She tells me 5/6 of coworkers gained back their weight. The I find out both my managers had RNY and gained back their weight. I do not want to gain after!!! I need this lifestyle change to be permanent. Any veterans here gain weight back?  If so what do u think caused it?  Any gained weight and lost it again?  How did u loose it again?  How do the veterans who have maintained their weight loss continue to maintain?  I'm so scared of #1 complications #2 failure. 

Absolutely normal to fear complications but realistically the rate is quite low and in line with most any major surgery (gallbladder, c section, appendectomy, etc.) Follow directions, stay hydrated, do your part. Your medical team will be running a bunch of tests that should reduce risks. I am assuming you are having some health issues now due to obesity. Those are scary and potential could kill too. In fact, obesity is one of the leading causes of death in the US. 

As for regain... people do regain... for a variety of reasons... life happens, divorce, death, jobs, kids, illness, things out of your control, and sometimes people reach for the comfort of their old friend/food or don't make the healthy changes permanent or whatever... WLS gives you a little helping hand, an opportunity to make some major lifestyle changes and alleviate some of the illnesses you maybe suffering from that affect your health and hinder weight loss. My personal theory is obesity is a chronic disease requiring chronic treatment and it is easy to get lulled into thinking the scale will always go down but it still goes both ways. Nothing magically happens the day after you reach that goal weight... just more of the same... eating the best you can, moving every day and working on the head stuff. How I maintain... I founds food I love, a way to move my body I enjoy, and I'm working on the reasons why I gained weight, every. single. day. Build a support team (Dr's therapist, dietitian, support groups online and IRL, friends, family) and do your part but the only way we can fail is if we give up. 

Best to you, ~Shelly

P.S. http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2013/11/life- after-weight-loss-surgery-q-a.html 

Re-gain happens when you stop making smart choices about food and revert back to bad eating habits.  This is not like being on a diet.  With every diet I was on, I would start eating whatever I wanted as soon as I saw the "magic number on the scale.  Soon the weight would pile back on.  You have to go into this knowing that the changes you make in your eating habits and food choices have to be permanent. The surgery makes your stomach smaller, so it helps to get the weight off.  It's up to you to KEEP it off by choosing to eat the right foods.

If you make up your mind to follow the rules forever, you will succeed.  If you do the head work required to wrangle your food demons, you will succeed.   If you stop letting food be the center of every celebration, the solution to every emotional issue and boredom, you will succeed.  You have to stop letting food control you.  Getting into a good support group or therapy will benefit you.

Complications are pretty rare, but they do happen.  It's up to you to decide if getting the weight off is worth the risk.

After the first 2 years it is easy to eat more and regain. You have to make a conscious effort every day to eat well and take care of yourself.

I see too many people who decide the food is more important than their health. Many of the people I know in real life who had surgery the same time as me have had a big regain. I am determined to stay at goal. Mentally I cannot go back to being obese and sad.

Reagan happens. Did I gained some of my weight? You bet. 30 lbs at one time.  Even now I am working on losing 10 lbs that just "sneeked on mine".  It is easy to gain and difficult to lose. Butt can be done. My pouch is still there... As long as I make good choices - I can do it. I.e. last night I wanted some wings.. I choose baked, dry rubbed, and took some skin off... Still 8 pcs was all I could eat. I was full. That was my dinner. If I ate more - I would be very very full - oversuffed.. I stopped at 8.  It was a great dinner.  I am7 years post op. My toll works, as long as I am using it.  I don't eat grains, or other white carbs, or sugars. I changed my WOE (way of eating) for good.  My pouch helps me with qty ...

I do believe I amy simmilar level as my skinny friends - once they gain some weight - they just eat less and make very mindful choices what they eat.  

Like everyone else has said,  the surgery gives you a "do-over", that's all.  How you approach weight/health management is up to you based on all the new things you learn about yourself and your body.  

I think it is - at this point in time of our medical knowledge, WLS is the best medical intervention for morbid obesity science has.

Thanks everyone for your support and information. WLS. is a definite for me. My comorbidities will kill me if I don't get this weight off. I look forward to being in shape and eating healthy. I have to always remember how sad and crappy I feel being obese. 1,2,3,+ years out. I'm hoping when I loose enough weight I can be a "runner" and not cry over my pounding joints. I can't wait to be fit!  Thanks everyone for your support!!  

Congratulations!  You will do fine  We are here for you!

All of the previous comments do a great job responding to your post. But, I am reminded of something I heard on Dr. Oz... You lose weight and begin to look great when you make smart eating/exercise choices. When you stop and make the same choices you did beforehand, you start to look like you did before.

that sunk in with me and made me realize... This is truly a lifelong commitment not to kill myself with food. I deserve better than that and my family doesn't deserve to watch me slowly deteriorate at such a young age due to my personal choices.