"coming out" about your surgery.

I've only told a handful of family members, two people I know through work and an online group I've been part of for years. I suspect my hubby has told people he knows... I specifically asked him not to, but I'll begrudgingly give him a pass with the in laws. 

I applaud you for being so open with it and the related emotions. Not something I'm willing to do though. There are select friends whom I trust who I would talk with if they desired,  but then there are acquaintances who just want to be busy bodies, can't be bothered feuling there nonsense.

It's very much a personal decision as to when and whom you share your surgery with. To each, their own! We must be supportive of our fellow "losers."

Personally I have only told immediate family and two good friends; the most important people in my life who I know will be my biggest support. I do plan on "coming out" once I am heading to the hospital for surgery. I want to guarantee that I am surrounded by positivity during this pre-op phase, and know that some will question my intentions and decision, and do not need it dragging me down. 

Just my 2 cents. 

I have known people who have had WLS and were very private about it. I didn't quite understand that. I was so excited about my journey from the beginning of my pre-op stages that I started shouting from the rooftops whenever I could. I post my recipes and progress on facebook, I talk about my pre-op diet frustrations with my coworkers, I'm pretty much almost always talking about it. Yes, there have been a few people who have been surprisingly negative toward the decision, but that's a pretty easy fix not to give 2 shakes. The thing is, some people have never struggled with an under-active metabolism, or a lifetime of fighting the scale, or any number of reasons people like us decide to have surgery. I really can't blame them for not understanding the reasons why I've come to this choice. I answer a lot of dumb questions. I repeat myself a lot. But I don't fear judgement because I don't really care. I actually find that when I get to explain my surgery to people who ask about it, it kind of reaffirms my choice and keeps me on track in my diet that day. And those closest to me have been such amazing supporters. My friends and family actually seem more excited and anxious for me than I am sometimes. I guess I can see why some people choose to stay private. But I guess I'm not a private person in general. I love talking about my surgery! And it hasn't even happened yet! 

Congrats on your "coming out"! I'm so glad those around you responded with such positivity. 

Other than my emergency contact, I did not tell my family; not out of shame BUT because I knnow that I would receive negative feedback and my parents would attempt to get me to abandon my decision (I'm in my 50's).  I have shared it with close friends and to those who I have learned are trying to lose weight.  I don NOT approach it as "you should" but rather as "would you consider" WLS.

I totally understand what you are saying and for your prayers to get you through. Let me take you twenty five years into the future. Or at least tell you what happened to me for the last 25 years to finally on July 10 have a RNY gastric bypass. I has the sleeve done in 1989. The few I did tell about my surgery were Spaulding that I would go through such extremes simply to loose weight. My mother was horrified that I did it. My husband was sure I would leave him as the weight melted away. I wanted to do the right things. I never had bread or a sandwich for all those years. As I lost my eyes seemed bigger and at a feast people could see I was not eating and thought for sure I was staring at them. I melted from 330 lbs to 160. Nobody wanted to be near me. As my confidence grew and my career got better, family felt insecure around me. Picked fights with me. I decided I may be a little too thin for the way people wanted to view me. My mother's family were and still are over 350 lbs. I was the thinnest female at any cousins weddings. When I let people in on how I lost the weight, I was criticized. I gain a few lbs to where I could look myself in the mirror and be happy. As my career slowed down and mostly sitting at a desk, the weight crept up. I had acid reflux...strong pains from a distal valve spacing and Vomitting after we went out for dinner. My health started to weaken. I went to my surgeon...not to ask for reversal...just to find out how I could deal with acid reflux. He practically chased me out of his office. Everything was in my head and I seriously needed to psychologically stop myself from eating. I tried everything. I went on so many diets, had to sleep in a sitting up position so I would not choke during the night. This went on for another ten years. Loosing 20 lbs and then gaining right back if I slowed down my exercising. Taking the most potent anti reflux drugs available...not to mention the hundreds and hundreds of bottles of tums. Slowly I was not able to tolerate red meats, then chicken, then fish. I became a raw vegan, only I could not chew any vegetables...I had to peel them before I could put them in the juicer. Suddenly two years ago the clamp on the sleeve seemed to have closed up. I had HPilori and the portion above the sleeve stretched and twisted. I vomited average of six times a day. Only watered down ensure and some vegetable juices would stay down. No more fruit juices, no more tomato juice....definitely no protein shakes unless watered down. One day in emergency room a gastric doctor took a ct scan of my stomach. He couldn't help me but suggested three other specialists for me to talk to. He also felt I should be taking at least six ensures a day to get my vitamins and protein in. That couldn't happen. I checked out the three surgeons and made my choice. That was a year ago. It took that long for insurance to approve and twice my files were lost. I honestly don't know how I survived til now. Everywhere I went people didn't notice I was not eating. I finally told my family and friends I needed a revision. I got the "I knew something like this would happen". I am now quietly recouperating at home. My daughter now 39 has been the most supportive. My husband is afraid I will get sick again and my son thinks all Mom's are invincible. I fear I will have to deal with the looks and comments all over. I am hoping the more people talk about WLS, the more it will be accepted in our communities. I have gained the love and respect from all I am with but never was it easy to get their love. Well, I wish more people had told me what to look for and alternatives out there, but sadly the RNY, I had never heard of before. I am so thankful I did it. 15 days with no acid reflux, no Vomitting and no criticism. Might I add, my surgery was over three hours mostly to get past the scar tissue and separate my pancreas and liver from the walls of my lower stomach.

My friend, make sure you stay true to your convictions and take care of your body. And God Bless.

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about your complications and troubles.  I hope you get better very soon and this revision works for you.

I'm curious though. You said you had the sleeve done 25 years ago.  I may be mistaken, but I thought the sleeve was a relatively new procedure...only about 8 or so years.

Sorry I lost my message to you. Look up vertical band gastroplasty or stomach stapling sleeve. Is that close to what you had. That is what I had and understood by surgeons in my area as a vertical sleeve.

I had this done in 1989 by. Dr Ian Sanderson. One of two surgeons in North America performing this style. I have been speaking to others that had this surgery in 1984 and 1986. 

Mazel Tov!