Hola, B*TCHFest! Que pasa?

Damn I wish I stilled pooped regularly like I used to pre-op.  Such an effort to keep things flowing these days, any change to my schedule such as weekends or holidays and things just seize up. 

I never hold secrets.  It is something that can be used against you.  And in my life i have a lot of people against me and am constantly in the public eye.  So I have been open and honest about me having surgery, that I had a lapband and it needed to be fixed and I was getting it revised to RNY.  Now I have people fat-shaming me, a former rival bar owner is holding a competition of who can photoshop me into the worst situation for a bar tab, and I think what is the worst of it all is that my own "friends" are not even standing up against the bullying.  I honestly think adult bullies are worse than kids, because adults are less likely to stand up to them for fear of what they will lose by doing so.  So I get to put on a smile and act like its not going on and pretend that I am not hurt.

I love my husband, and my kids.  I get along ok with my mom.  But all of a sudden realizing that these are the only people in my life is kind of hard.  I miss having friends.  

My other rant is a ******g absolutely hate my goddamned body!!!!!  I am so sick and tired of feeling like crap everyday cause I can't chug liquid the way I used to be able to (I am used to drinking 2 gallons of water a day) and I feel like a slug without getting all of my water that I want in each day.  Struggling to get 60 ounces in is ridiculous.  I have been stalled for 2 ******g weeks!  Now the scale is moving .5 pound a day.  Um, I didn't go through hell to have the same rate of loss that I could have had without the surgery!  I see people hitting goal, people who had surgery on the same day as me just flying through the weight loss, and I'm sitting here doing everything I'm supposed to and its NOT ******G COMING OFF!!!  I want to be out of the 300s.  I want to be on my way to not being fat.  I want to believe that the second surgery I had to have did not do something to my body that made it impossible for me to lose as fast as I am supposed to in the first 3 months.  (cause thats how it feels).  I'm 1 month down from surgery and I have only lost 17 pounds since surgery.  When I initially spoke to my doc before surgery he said he wanted to see me lose 30 to 40 pounds the first month.  Not even close.  And at this rate I will only lose 15 pounds this month as well.  ******g awesome!  Glad I had surgery!  :(

Professors who don't follow their own damn syllabus.

I'm taking a graduate class on WWII, a required course and not one I really want to be taking anyway, and the professor isn't following her own grading requirements.  And of course, emails go unanswered, so I have no idea what the expectations actually are.  Argh.

oooo I would be all over my advisor with that.  That sort of thing made me so mad when I was in school!

I am tired of being in constant recovery. I had a bilateral mastectomy in April of 14', and then the "exchange" this past December where they put the implants in. In March, a very large and very drunk man fell on me straight on the left implant. It resulted in a lot of damage and infection, which in turn caused so much scarring the implant was encapsulated. Hence, more surgery about a week ago, more drains, and sonofa***** if the drain didn't get infected. Now, higher risk of scarring... ugh. On an up note, much easier surgery when you only have half the chest shredded. 

Man, that sucks. I'm sorry. Feel better soon!  And stay away from drunk people!!