New - hello - and commisseration needed

Hi! *looks around nervously* I'm Sue, and I'm scared out of my gourd.

I went to one clinic a couple of months ago, and was made to feel like a walking dollar sign. I walked away.

Did more research and am glad I found Southwest Bariatrics here in Austin. Very professional, friendly, reassuring, and accessible. Last week, I had my consult with the surgeon who said I'm an excellent candidate for VSG (HT 5'4", WT 318, BMI 54.5), and have done all my pre-op testing done, just waiting for it to be submitted to the appropriate person; from there I'll get a call from scheduling.

Our insurance has a specific exclusion, so boo to that. It was expected but I don't like it. Who does?

But I wasn't expecting to freak out. I think it was the worst the day I had the psych eval - that's when it really hit: My God, I'm really doing this. YIPE YIPE YIPE!!!! - that's how I felt earlier this week. Couldn't eat, sleep, think, function. When my SO got home, I handed over our son and said I'm to freaked out, I need to go. And I did - took me an hour or so to just not tremble at the thought. In desperation, I called an old friend who'd had a procedure (supposed to be VSG, wound up as RNY) earlier this year so he could talk me down from the trees; I'm glad I did. But I still feel freaked out. My stomach is horribly upset and, while I'm not flitting around like a crazyperson like I was on Wednesday, my attention span still sometimes feels something like a fly crawling around inside my head.

Has anyone else been freaked out like that? It's not like me at all - the wigging out and the physical response are alien. I understand (obviously) that this is a big commitment, but even if I know it on an intellectual level, the rest of my brain and my body are on overload/tilt.

I'm hoping to do the procedure at the beginning of September, as we have a lot of things going on August. Also, by then my son will be in all-day school. I have some logistical issues I need to resolve, which is why I want the extra prep time.

Thanks for reading - see you in the threads!

I am in Canada, so I have a longer process from initial assessment to getting hacked up. But, one day it became real and I started freaking out. I'm sure you can find my threads from those days. 

Now I am much more relaxed. I know it's just nerves and that it is normal for any such major commitment. I have a tendency to obsess over the details. That's when my anxiety sky rockets. Lean on your support people and hang in there.

Id think it more abnormal if you didn't get a bit freaked out.  You are doing major surgery, and its normal for you to get nervous.  However stick around this site, read up on your planned surgery. Glory in the successes of others, and what may be yours if you commit to plan.  Remember some folks do end up with issues, but even those usually say they are still happy they made the leap...

I remember a quote my Nut (nutritionist) said as I prepared for the surgery about most folks thoughts after, ahe said, "the biggest regret most people had is they didn't do it sooner...) After hanging out at this site I truly believe it.

Good luck on your journey!

I think this is where a prep program like Kaiser's really helps. I had to do12 weeks of classes, and cover a lot of material, a lot of discussion. Several people dropped out when they realized everything involved. Surgery at Kaiser is so cheap, I think they need to weed out those who aren't committed. I can't imagine doing this without that kind of prep.

I'm actually getting frustrated now, the process has been so long for me. Six months of classes under my old insurance (which were a joke), get into classes with Kaiser, a cardiac hiccup, and finally after 13 months, I get to see the surgeon. I'm not freaked, I'm eager!

Yes, it's normal.

Looking back I think it's funny I was so freaked out about something that has not only saved my life, but made the quality of my life so much better.  

You know, I was never freaked out about my health when my BMI was 57.  Even though I was a ticking time bomb -- 

My son only gets one childhood -- looking back, I regret that I didn't do this sooner.  I have always been a great mother -- but I am undoubtedly a better and more active one now.

The best part -- I am far more likely to be around to not only dance at his wedding but to be able get down on the floor to play with my grandchildren one day.  

It's so worth it.

I think mental freak out is normal... even though I put a strong front up to other people, I was freaking out inside.... I kept telling myself 'you can always change your mind' and I just kept moving forward, no regrets...