Am I doing the right thing? I'm scared.

A lot of my family are against the idea of me having WLS. I have had some support from my parents and my best friend. I have an identical twin sister. She is the same size as me. She believes that I have not tried to lose weight on my own and that I am using WLS as a "quick fix." I don't feel like I have to prove anything to anyone about why I need to have this surgery. Obviously if I didn't feel like I needed it, I wouldn't go through with it. I have PCOS, high anxiety and depression, borderline Diabetic, thyroid problems, etc. I HAVE tried to lose weight in the past and nothing has seemd to work.

My entire life, my whole family and I were overweight. My father is a very heavy set man and now he is going through this process as well. I love him so much and I am happy that he is looking into this surgery. Now, if i truly feel like he would be successful after surgery, that's a whole different story.

I have to go back for a reassessment August 12 at Humber River. I am scared that they will keep sending me back for reassessments because of my age and how I have lost some weight on my own since this whole process began. I want to make sure that I am doing the right thing and am not doing this all for a negative result.

No one can tell you you are doing the right thing but yourself. This is your body, your life, and you have to make the decision. If you spend some time here, you will see most people do not regret getting the surgery. I never thought I would be one of those people who had surgery. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and it seemed like no matter what I did, I wasn't seeing significant results. No one else can make a judgement as to whether I 'tried hard enough.' I know I did. Follow the rules, get support and you will do well... Good Luck.

NYMom22,

Thank you for commenting! I'm very new to this website and the amount of support I see from others is amazing. I want to go to school and be healthy when I do that. So I am wanting to figure all this out and have the surgery and on my way to recovery and get an education! :) 

Again thank you.

KellyAnnah

If I could do it agin, I'd have done it 20 years ago. Don't let others influence your decision. After all, it's your body, your health and your future. You are the only one qualified to decide if it's right for you or not. 

Hey Poodlemac,

Thank you for your words. I really appreciate the support. Its a very hard process to go through when you don't have the right support. Especially from my twin sister. I just was looking to get some encouragement and some reassurance that I am making the right decision :)

Again, thank you!

KellyAnnah

Only you and your doctor know if this is right for you.   As for your twin... is it possible she's jealous?

Hi alouisa63!

Honestly... that is what I thought. My mother thinks different though. At a time, my twin lost a bunch of weight on her own. She got lots of positive attention from everyone and loved it. I was proud of her. But then we got compared a lot and our family made comments to me about how successful she was... Now  my twin has gained back her weight. And she is trying to lose the weight now as well and is doing well. We are the exact same weight at the moment. I've just tried to talk to her about this process and she doesn't approve so she doesn't truly listen or seem to care?

Anyways, thanks for the words. I think this is right for me. I've seen so many people write on here about how they wished they did this sooner. So that really helps me with my decision.

KellyAnnah

Something I did to get my mother onboard was take her with me to the seminars. She heard all the questions asked and answered that she had asked me. She's been pretty supportive throughout this adventure, which is impressive because support is NOT her strong suit!  ;-)

Your twin is a walking statistic, I'm afraid.  Those who lose 50 lbs with diet/exercise, stand a 75% chance of regaining it all back.  Those with 100+ lbs to lose through diet/exercise stand a 97% chance of regain.  It took me realizing that my obesity really was out of my control to decide I was doing the right thing.  

I had all of these questions and feelings when I began my journey earlier this year. I'm also in Ontario (by the way, there is an Ontario forum if you ever have specific questions about the process at Humber). 

Im going to Toronto Western and they do not require you to lose weight to demonstrate you are capable of following a specific plan, but I don't know about Humber. I am losing weight on my own pre-op because I have started to make some of the changes that will be required of me post-op. I figure getting used to the new stomach is going to be hard enough and I could minimize some of the shock by making what changes I can beforehand. As long as you don't lose too much weight so you Jo longer medically qualify for surgery, you should be fine. But, do inquire at Humber.

What are you calling reassessment? Have you had orientation already? I have anxiety so each time I have an appointment I ask if they see anything I need to work on. My social worker told me that they would tell me and not suddenly kick me out at the end if there was something I needed to work on. I was afraid of that... Like going through this whole process only to be told I'm not a surgical candidate.

as for what other people think, I have chosen not to tell anyone aside from my husband until I know when my date is. I figure I should let my family know in case I happen to have a complication during the procedure... But I don't need or care for their approval to go through with it. My family doesn't have to live in my body, so they don't get to tell me what I can do with my body.

with that said, it is important that you have a support system in place. Ideally your family would be part of that. If not, you will need to join a support group or identify other people you can lean on. I started going to the rout meetings at my hospital and it's helpful. 

Anyone that hat thinks this is a quick fix needs to be educated in what weight loss surgery is. It is a tool to help with weight loss. There are a lot of people that think you can eat and do whatever you want and still lose weight, but that is far from true. You will have to stick to a very specific diet and exercise for life.