What to tell your boss about WLS?

I know that I do not have to tell my boss what type of surgery I am having. But my boss keeps asking. She is really the nicest person and I'm sure means nothing by it, but I'm embarrassed to say I need WLS. I'm just not there yet emotionally to be able to shout to the world because it makes me feel like a failure, like I did something dreadful to be my size in the first place.

in the times she has asked I just say its gastrointestinal and change the subject. I don't want her to freak out and think I'm having open heart surgery, but I also want her to know it's not an elective surgery (ie, getting my nose done or ears pinned).

I think if she asks again (which will be the third time), I think I should just be open and say that I'd rather not discuss the specifics but can assure her it's medically necessary. Thoughts on that approach?

Not even going to get into the HR nightmare of your boss asking what kind of surgery you're having...

As soon as I made up my mind, I told my manager.  I was unsure what her reaction would be since she lost a good amount with diet and exercise. But when I told her, she was VERY supportive and it was she that actually pointed me to this website!  She was her husbands support person when he decided to have VSG and she had LOTS of information that she shared (it's amazing how different programs are for the same surgery).  Her husband, after completing his 6 month hoop jump, decided to not have the surgery after all. 

Ultimately it's up to you how much you share and how comfortable you are with it.  For me, I found a new support person I would never have expected to find!

My thought is, eveetually everyone will think you had WLS anyway, because of how much weight you'll drop. And giving vague answers now just invites the next round of questions.

I'd just tell them, or tell them it's private, period.

I told my boss before I had met with my doctor.  I will tell anyone who ask me and recommend it. 

I explain to people that I didn't have the surgery for looks (although that is a bonus) I did it for the health benefits.  My Mom died at 57 weighing 350 pounds, diabetic, high blood pressure and heart disease.  I wanted to prevent myself from heading in that direction. 

My situation is very unique. I have never actually met my boss. 😄 Long story... But I work from home, my boss does as well (and in a different country to boot). I'm in the healthcare field and am everyone else at the company is super fit. I have met a handful of people that I work with. They obviously know I'm obese, so they will notice a difference at the next holiday party when we have our annual get together. 

I suppose the main reason I am hesitant to say anything right now is, I have not been approved for surgery. I expect I will be, but if not... Then I think I would be really embarrassed for opening up to this person I have never met face to face.

Honestly, I would just say --- "just some surgery I have been putting off -- nothing serious -- I just need some time off".

I would not disclose ( I only told my husband and 1 friend before my surgery --- told others afterward as I felt appropriate).

I am a WAH (work at home) remote associate as well -- and when I called my boss to tell him that I was going to take a medical leave -- he said "do not tell me anymore -- I am not allowed to know details".

Then, he suggested that I work with HR to request any short-term disability that I might be entitled to.

The insurer directly contacted my surgeon to approve the disability --- and my boss never knew details about my surgery.

I was not allowed to work during my disability time -- not even check email -- because I was being paid to NOT work

Are you a writer? I noticed the use of en and em dashes. Just being nosy. 😄

This is great advice, thank you. If only my boss didn't want to hear more. I think she doesn't mean anything and probably doesn't realize she shouldn't ask. 

Hello Tatirod,

First of all let me say...it's no ones business, especially your manager's as to why you are taking off. File FMLA and excuse yourself from work every time that you have an appt regarding the surgery. I am a manager as well and as soon as someone hits me with FMLA papers - I allow them to dismiss themselves when necessary w/out ANY questions from my end. It's not my responsibilty as a mgr to know the "why." All that I need to know is that there is a Law that excludes this person from experiencing any discrection while going thru some personal issues. I , too am on FMLA as well concerning WLS and due to all of the millions of appointments I'm having to make out of town. How dare anyone ask me the reason for FMLA - that is against the law.

So, you may want to email your manager some paperwork regarding FMLA. This way she will know or you can just tell her!

Sorry to be so outspoken - but I can;t stand when people invite themsleves in other people's affairs.

Staci

if I am not mistaken, FMLA only applies to a company of 50 or more employees..For smaller offices.. FMLA does not apply.

Thanks, Staci. I knew it was illegal to pry but wasn't quite sure whatt heals was. This will be helpful.

and, we have about 250 employees, so no doubt the law applies. 😄