Dealing with feelings

I just had revision surgery to the RNY 5/18/15.  Since the liquid diet pre-op I have had alot of feelings arise that I was not aware of.   Alot of anger toward my husband for things I thought I had let go of has surfaced.  I had the band in 2007 lost 100 pounds and then gained most of it back.  I wasn't in therapy at that time but I am now.  I have known my husband for 13 years and wonder if I just wasn't able to get honest with my feelings when I had the band and that partially led to my weight gain.  I don't want that to happen this time.  I hear about how many people having weight loss surgery have had marital issues due to it.  I wonder if part of it is getting honest with our feelings and realizing some things we accepted are truly not acceptable.  My husband is a good man and not abusive but many of my needs are just not getting met.  I have talked to him about some of them and haven't had much success.  He listens to me but doesn't make the changes.   Can anyone relate to this?           

You could be hormone dumping. I have been told on this site that hormones live in our fat cells…soooo when we lose weight the hormone situation is not so pretty. I have experienced that and still do occasionally. When we have no food to comfort us sometimes we tend to project. We tend to project on the ones we love unfortunately. I know when I am angry at somebody 9 out of ten times it's my issues not theirs. Who can ever fill all our needs…nobody but ourselves. The more you like yourself the less other people will bother you. Just my 2 cents. Talk to a councillor or someone who can help you deal with unresolved issues…if you even have any. Good luck with the journey.

Hi Catherine,

Your post hit a nerve with me. And I responded to you and had some great realizations! And then I also realized I didn't really respond to you. I wrote about myself. So I deleted it and started a new post so I didn't take over your post. :)

So to answer your post, yes I have had a lot of feelings in the last 2 years. And I have made some major changes in my life. Mainly to choose the people who have my best interest. And to minimize contact with people who are destructive. I definitely stand up for myself more with others and my hubby and let him know if he crosses boundaries. And we have been great together! Better than ever! But he is the same man who I married, not perfect but a great guy. I'm not perfect either. So we are perfect for each other. Ha ha

good luck!!